Page 2

CHAPTER ONE

JASPER

The chill in the air has my shoulder aching like a son of a bitch. It’s stiff as hell, even after going through those stretches Blake swears will help. I’ve been trying to lay off the painkillers despite what a certain platinum-haired brat may think.

Really, I have. Her side-eye and sass pisses me off too much to not at least give it my best go.

Unfortunately, the cravings are winning tonight. I can deal with pain; it’s been a constant in my life since I started playing football in high school. Does it fucking suck? Hell yes. But it reminds me that I’m resilient. I’m still alive and kicking through every hit, every concussion, every broken bone. Getting shot brought my threshold to another level, though. All those movie action heroes make it look so easy.

Back in college, I was able to take a pill or two the first couple days after an injury and never think about them again.

But that was before my sister vanished.

Before my world shattered like a city hit by nukes.

My life was ground zero. My own personal apocalypse. Bailey was gone. Getting shot was the excuse I needed to surrender to the sweet bliss the pills provided. I could be numb. Forget the pressure from my parents. Tune out the guys and their constant planning. Even suppress the guilt that weighs me down each time I realize I’m not doing enough to find her. Nothing will ever be enough.

Nausea roils my gut as I make my way to the meeting point. We’ve only been living in the city for a couple weeks, so I’m no expert, but the night seems unusually quiet. It makes the skin on the back of my neck prickle in alarm.

My footsteps echo against the cracked pavement as I open my phone to double check the text. My memory’s been shit lately. That coupled with the move has made it exponentially difficult to get around. But it seems I’m heading in the right direction.

A gust of wind rattles the loose metal fire escape on a graffiti covered building nearby. The sound is like a warning bell in the night. I pull up my hood and keep going.

Stop being a pussy. This will be the last time.

It has to be.

I spot my landmark—Mr. Clean 24/7 Laundromat—and turn down the adjacent street. Every step feels as if I’m plodding through a mountain of mud. The relief is near… I’m so close.

I pick up a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye and stop, resting my hand on my gun tucked in the side of my jeans. “Hello?” I call out. “I know you’re there.”

No mistaking it, there’s someone hiding in the shadows. Fuck. Grabbing my phone, I tap the screen to wake it up, squinting from the brightness. The space ahead gains a faint glow, revealing an empty alley. I’m alone.

Great, now I’m seeing things. What would Falin think if she were here with me? I stifle a scoff. She’d definitely bust my balls, no doubt about that.

I release a breath and turn back toward the street. At least there’s a bit of light coming from the laundromat windows. Texting my contact in a dark alley feels a bit too criminal for me.

Well, what do you expect? You’re about to buy drugs, dumbass. Not a smart move, but it is what it is.

My phone vibrates against my palm, so I stop to see who’s calling, hoping it’s the dude I’m supposed to be meeting. Gotta love burner phones and Telegram. It’s so much easier now than when I was in college trying to score weed.

As I rub my eyes, blinking away the moisture forming in the corners from the assault of bright light, a harsh voice cuts through the quiet street. “You got two seconds to tell me who you are and what you’re doing on my street.”

My eyes adjust, revealing two forms in front of me. They’re both tall guys—not as tall as me, maybe about Damon’s height. One’s a thick dude with a large sagging gut. The other, his gun aimed at my face, looks fit enough to cause trouble if I make a run for it. Gaiters partially cover their faces, leaving only dark, narrowed eyes visible.

I hold my hands up, phone still grasped in my palm, and smile. Time to do what I do best—talk my way out of this shit. “Hey man, why don’t you lower your piece and we can talk. I’m not here to cause trouble. ”

My phone vibrates again, and both sets of eyes zero in on it.

“Make that shit stop and answer my question,” he says, gesturing to my phone. My pulse pounds as I nod and slowly lower my hand to peek at the screen. Falin.

Why is she calling me at 1 AM? It kills me to side button her, but I don’t have a choice.

“Better?” I ask, raising my hand back up.

“Answer the question. What are you doing here?”

Goddamn, I think his voice made my nuts retreat all the way up into my body. Is that even medically possible? Balls can drop, but can they un-drop? Maybe Dr. Blake knows.

“I promise you, I’m a great conversationalist. We can walk outta here, hand in hand, new best buddies. But you gotta do me a solid and lower your weapon, then I’ll tell you why I’m here.”

Did I think I’d be sweet talking a gun-wielding criminal tonight? Nope. But I guess this is what I deserve.

His buddy, we’ll call him Big Guy, taps him on the shoulder and he legit growls. I’m talking a cross between a rabid dog and a feral zoo animal. “What?”

“Maybe we can see what he’s gotta say?” Big Guy offers, looking me up and down. “Seems like he’s alright.”

I nod vigorously. “He’s right.”

Growler lowers his piece and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Fuck’s sake,” he says. “Just answer the goddamn questions.”

“I’m J. I’m here for a pick up.” My phone vibrates again but I angle it so they can’t see. I’m worried something is actually wrong. Falin’s only used my phone number once before…the night of the haunted show last month.

The two turds look at me like I have an extra eye coming out of my forehead. Are they going to make me spell it out? “Oxys? This is the spot he told me to come to.”

Another wave of nausea has me closing my eyes for a moment. I’m so damn over these two idiots. If they don’t give me what I came for, there’s a strong chance—maybe ninety-nine percent—that I’ll have to kill them. My mind wanders, imagining all the ways I could do it. There’s my gun, but that’s too easy…

Growler interrupts my thoughts. “So you’re saying you’re here to buy pills?”

Holy shit, they don’t have two brain cells to rub together. My eyes dart between the two of them, checking to see if they really need me to repeat myself. When they keep the same dumb head tilt and wide eyed stare, I huff and confirm. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Growler inclines his head in a subtle nod and all at once, shit hits the fan. Both men pull out their weapons, pointing them directly at me, and Big Guy shouts, “Police! Get your hands up where we can see ‘em. You’re under arrest.”

Fuck me.

There’s no way I’m getting snagged for buying a couple pills. Not happening. I slowly raise my shaky hands, silently praying for a miracle.

Maybe I should stop by a church to show my thanks because an engine suddenly squeals, drawing their gazes away from me. I know I only have a split second, so I make the best of what I can and shove Growler hard in the gut, knocking him into Big Guy.

“Fuck!” one of them bellows. I don’t hang around long enough to see who. Taking a breath, I sprint around the corner as fast as my out of shape ass can carry me.

There’s no gunshot ringing out in the dark. No thunder of footsteps behind me. Only distant sirens and mumblings of conversation coming from a few drunks smoking cigarettes across the street.

Hell yeah. I’m in the clear.

My phone vibrates yet again and I finally answer it, hitting the speakerphone icon. “Fal… in,” I force out between panting breaths. “You oh… kay?”

The next block is up ahead and I try to remember if that’s where I need to turn. Come to think of it, maybe I should find somewhere to hide out. Leading them back to the apartment is asking for trouble.

“Christ, you finally answer the damn phone.” She sounds thrilled to speak to me, as usual. I can almost see her eye-roll.

“Kind of busy at the moment,” I say, my words bouncing with each pound of my feet against the pavement.

“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to save your dumb ass.” I hear faint clicking in the background as I take in her words. There’s no way she knows. How could she?

“Don’t know what you mean.” Wind whips at my face, stealing what little breath I have. I lean against a rough brick wall and bend at my side, heaving.

“Don’t stop, they’re not as far as you think they are,” Falin says. “See the old phone booth up ahead? The one with the flickering light?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “When you reach it, turn left. Left ,” she repeats. “Not right. You go right and you’ll run right into a cop car.”

“I thought Damon was the stalker,” I say, clocking the phone booth. It’s close. Maybe I’ll make it home unscathed.

I take off running again, keeping my phone in my hand at my side. Falin repeats “Left,” again.

Whatever she’s doing, I’m grateful for her. I’d never tell her that though. It doesn’t fit the little game we’ve been playing. I like to call it who can get under the other’s skin the most ? I think it’s a tie so far.

“Okay, see that door with the barred up windows?” I glance around and spot exactly what she’s talking about.

“Yes,” I pant out.

“The door should be open. Go inside and stay there for at least an hour. I’ll monitor those cops and let you know when it’s safe to head home.”

“But where?—”

“Just listen to me. You think I’d go out of my way at almost 2 AM to prank you? That’s something you’d do, not me. I’m a mature adult.” She sounds so smug. I know the exact face she’s making. The one that gets my dick hard. Fuck, she’d look incredible hovered over me, that bratty look on her face, while she berates me for being a bad boy. I could come in my pants just thinking about it. “Jasper?” she asks when I don’t answer.

“10-4, boss. I have one question though.” I reach the door and yank it open, covering my nose at the invading stench of cat piss and rotten garbage. Now I know why this place is vacant.

“What’s that, dummy?”

“You still got access to cop uniforms? I’m picturing you in those starched linen pants and it’s giving me a semi.” A smirk spreads across my face, but it’s short-lived. It smells God awful in here.

“Wouldn’t you love to know,” she teases. “I’m hanging up. Don’t get yourself arrested. Or killed. Blake would be sad.”

“What about you? Would you cry for me, sweetheart?”

“I might shed a tear or two… when I see all the extra work I’d have to do to cover for you.”

“Damn, that’s cold. What did I ever do to you?” I make my voice smooth as silk, laying on the charm.

“Goodbye, Jasper. Keep your phone on. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to leave.”

With that, the line goes dead and I’m left to find a spot to sit in this hovel. From the empty shelves and faded signage, I’m guessing this place was a store of some kind. Wonder what happened. I kick old used cups and empty trash aside and spot a semi-clear looking place to sit in the corner.

Catching my breath, despite the cat piss stench, I play the events of tonight back in my mind. Where the hell did it go wrong? My hands shake and now that I’m “safe”, that aching hunger takes over. This is perfect, fucking perfect. I thought I found a legit plug here. It was going to be my last time. Scout’s honor . And now I feel like shit in more ways than one.

I vibrate my leg, restless energy coursing through my muscles, and hum this Sleeping With Sirens song that’s been stuck in my head all day. I wish I had my guitar. I’d play it and get it out of my system. I wonder what Falin would say? She likes that band. In fact, she’s the reason the song is stuck in my head to begin with. Her incessant humming can drive a person to insanity. Just proves how much of a nuisance she is in my life. To put it poetically, she’s my personal buzzing earworm.

I scoff out loud as the thought enters my head. Wonder if playing her will get her out of my system. Doubtful, but I’d be willing to test the theory.

How long have I been sitting here? It feels like days. The smell of this place will be forever burned into my nostrils. I pull out my phone, lowering the brightness as much as I can, and text Falin.

Me: Am I good to go yet? It smells like death in here.

A few minutes go by as I scroll through my favorite social media site.

Car video. Swipe .

Football recap. Painfully swipe . Why are all my teams sucking this season?

Hot chick showing off some teeth whitening gel. Hmm, linger…

Nevermind, she’s too clothed. Swipe .

A text notification pops up and I grin.

Falin: Better to smell the dead than be dead. Keep your ass planted until I say.

Me: That’s debatable… with all due respect, you’re not here breathing in the scent buffet that my sniffer is suffering. I may never be the same again.

She’s so pissed. I know it.

Three dots show up and disappear four separate times. Yup, she’s going to eviscerate me with words. Hell, I’ll take it. It’s better than focusing on the withdrawal symptoms. And to be honest, my dick gets hard when she’s mean to me. Still trying to wrap my brain around all the reasons why. I glance down at my crotchal region and whisper to Jasper Junior. “You and me have some serious soul searching to do, big guy.”

Falin: Aww, poor baby Jasper. I know! I’ll send you a scented candle… in the city that never sleeps, one of those delivery services has to be going strong. Hmm, but what scent? Eau de not dead yet because of me sound good? Pull up your big boy panties and stay put.

“Fuck,” I say, shaking my head and chuckling. And there’s Jasper Junior waking up to say hello, right on cue.

I tap the screen and think of a witty response, an action that doesn’t come as easily as it used to thanks to the fucking brain fog.

Me: What if I don’t wear big boy panties?

That sounds dumb as shit. Also, it’s a lie. That’s Damon and his freeballing. I’m too scared of zippers for that. Plus, ball sweat is a real issue.

Delete.

As I tap out another intellectually stimulating banger, a scratching sound from behind the wall startles me. I jump to my feet.

My pulse picks up and I instantly pull out my gun. It can’t be those cops. Not unless they can become invisible and phase through solid objects. Goddamn, I wish Damon was here. I’d even take Leon, although he’d be giving me the silent treatment. They’re better at this than I am. Better at everything, to be exact.

My ears prick as the sound repeats, this time a bit louder. I suck in a breath and call out. “Who’s there?”

Please don’t let someone answer. I feel like shit and killing someone in this dump will mean I have to spend more time in here cleaning up my mess.

“Hello?” I repeat louder, waiting a moment before I step quietly around the space.

Then I hear a completely different sound. Pitiful meowing. Oh fuck, there’s still cats in here. I laugh out loud and put my gun away, searching the space for the culprit. The meowing grows louder, like a song made up of tiny, pleading cries.

“Where are you, buddy?” I whisper, still trying to keep myself hidden. I stop and point my phone’s flashlight at a hole in the bottom of the wall, no bigger than my fist. “Of course. Alright, I’m going to get you out.”

The cries reach a level of desperation that motivates the hell out of me. I’m a damn hero tonight. Rescuing a cat and shit. I rip at the crumbling drywall, taking out chunks that scatter like piss-stained confetti, revealing the rotten studs beneath. “Almost there.”

Knocking the wall with the butt of my gun gives me the opening I need. Right there, between old electrical wire and water lines, are two of the dirtiest, skinniest kittens I’ve ever seen. They cower once they realize I’ve spotted them, but I scoop them up before they can dart further into the wall.

The first one is all black with bright green eyes that stare into my soul. She’s meowing quietly, fur puffed. The second little one is the hellion. I can tell already. Its cries turn to incessant wails now that it’s in my arms. It looks black like its sibling, but as I take a closer look, I notice it’s just filthy.

“Where’s your mom?” I shift them to the crook of my arm and bend to shine my light back inside the wall. The only crying comes from them, and the rest of the opening looks clear.

I turn my light off and take a quick picture of them, adding it to my text thread with Falin.

Me: You can call me daddy now.

Send.

Don’t care what she has to say. These two babies are all mine.

“You ready to get out of here and get something to eat?” They quiet down like they understand my words. “Me too.”

Without waiting for Falin’s reply, I stick the babies in my hoodie pocket and slink out the door.