Page 84 of Broken Ties
Cursing, I finally push away from her. “Grab your shit, I’ll drive you down to the dining hall.”
She’s quiet the entire way out of the dorm, glancing around at the other students. Without her snarking at me, I take the opportunity to pick through the thoughts and reactions of everyone we pass by, and my watchlist grows larger. While no one is thinking anything actively threatening—I’d deal with them immediately if they were—there’s still far too much jealousy and ignorant opinions swirling around.
Oli is moving at a slower pace than usual, still tender despite the pills, and I keep her pace the whole way, refusing to be further than a half step away from her. I can still smell her shampoo on my shirt, the scent of her skin faint but there too, and I’m practically sulking at the idea of sharing her with the rest of Draven for the day.
That kind of possessiveness is usually reserved for North’s grumpy ass, but I can’t help myself.
Oli is a little awkward getting into the car but still doesn’t speak, even as I pull up to the drop-off bay on campus. Scowling, I check that the Tac personnel are all still where they’re supposed to be stationed, ready to pull back out and refuse to let her go to class today if given the tiniest of chances.
They’re all here, goddamnit.
Oli clears her throat twice, like she’s nervous or struggling to find the words she needs. “I really appreciate?—”
Keeping my eyes on the perimeter, I cut her off. “Are you going to try running away again?”
Scowling at me, she rubs at the back of her neck before letting out a tortured sigh. “No.”
That fucking GPS chip; I both loathe it and can’t stand the idea of it being removed—for now. Maybe if we can get some trust established between us, she’ll tell me what the hell really happened to her. If I find out what or who has her so scared, and kill the piece of shit, I can get that thing out of her.
“Would you run if we couldn’t track you?”
Her voice hoarse, she looks down at her lap like the words hurt her. “I would have to run. It's better that way.”
Truth.
She believes that with every fiber of her being. Whether or not it’s the objective truth, it’shertruth, and that’s what matters right now. The real enemy I have to deal with is that. Getting my Bond to believe that no matter the danger, no matter who’s afterus, no matter what’s at stake, she can trust me to face it with her. She can rely on me to be on her side while she deals with North’s hurt pride, or when Nox starts his bullshit, or when the council tries to meddle. Better yet, she can trust me to keep her safe when the Resistance comes calling.
How the hell I’m going to do that… well, that’s the real issue here. Especially when she’s vehemently opposed to opening up even a little to me. I’m sick to death of being patient, but it’s also clearly the only option I have.
Nodding slowly to her, I offer the olive branch I know she won’t take. “You could tell me, you know. It might change a lot of things for you around here.”
Right on cue, she only shrugs back. "We both know it won't. Your bestie has already told me there's no excuse good enough for him to accept. I'm trapped here, and because of that, bad shit is going to happen. I'm doing everything I can to stop it but… it's probably going to happen anyway."
Truth.
Infuriating and not necessarily a fact, but it’s still something she wholly believes.
I drum my fingers on the steering wheel as I ponder how to talk to her. It’s hard to find a way to approach her without spooking her, but I’m determined now. "The problem is that I know that you believe that. I just also know that whatever it is, you should have come to us about it instead of running. You should have trusted us."
The chuckle she lets out is a bleak and desolate thing, and it feels like a knife plunging into my chest. "Oh yeah? I was fourteen. Did you know my parents both died right before I was tested? Did you know I lost everything and… it happened? I'd just found out I was going to have Bonds and everything was going to be okay. I'd lost them, you know? I'd lost everything."
Kyrie was right.
Something happened to her in that fucking hospital room. The leather of the steering wheel creaks and startles me out of my spiral of fury. I can’t let this moment of quiet honesty go without knowing, without asking the questions I’ve been too gutless to ask her up until now. These questions could break me if her truth isn’t the same as mine.
The moment makes me brave enough to finally force the words out. "Did you want your Bonds? Back then?"
She swallows roughly, tears filling her eyes as she looks out of the window to avoid my eyes. "More than anything, that's what I wanted."
Truth.
Fighting off the effects of the sheer, mind-altering relief that floods me, I continue, "And now? Do you want your Bonds now?"
Her head ducks, chin to her chest as she reaches for the door handle, and I hit the auto-lock to stop her fleeing. She’s not really trapped, she can just hit the unlock button on her own door, but I’m just hoping to slow her down enough to coax an answer out of her. Now that I’ve asked it, I can’t exist without an answer.
"Oli, answer me. Do you want your Bonds or not?"
Glancing over her shoulder at me, there’s still tears in her eyes and her voice is a croak. “There's no point in answering it. I can't have these Bonds. You all hate me, and I know it's too dangerous to try. I'm better off alone."