Page 101 of Broken Ties
For now.
I take the out while I can and focus on getting my Bond out of here before he changes his mind.
Without looking away from Nox, I snap, “Bassinger, you’re welcome to stay tonight with Oleander. We can discuss living arrangements tomorrow, but for right now, we all have places to be in the morning.”
He doesn’t argue, instead he turns to my Bond and offers her his hand which she takes without protest, the two of them walking away and leaving my brother and me behind. Rafe and the others are long gone, the staff of the house fleeing to safer areas the moment Nox had arrived, but I don’t speak a word until Nox shifts on his feet as though he’s about to walk away.
“Don’t move; I’m getting Gryphon down here to read you.”
He’s shaking his head before I finish the sentence. “No?—”
I cut his protest off with a snarl I’ve never uttered in his direction before, “I can’t in good conscience just let this go, Nox!”
“You can’t, Baba.”
Every muscle in my body turns to stone instantly.
The old pet name he’d given me as a child practically falls out of his lips, the croaking sound of it tearing at my soul until I’m left in shreds. If I could kill Emmaline all over again, I’d do it, only this time I’d draw out her last moments until she felt everyounce of pain and suffering she’d subjected her son to, then again for good measure.
He hasn’t called me that in years.
Still, I turn away from him as I shake my head. “Nox, your pain isn’t an excuse to hurt her. No one deserves that. I know that your fears are tied to Bonds and being Bonded, but Oleander Fallows didn’t do anything like that to you?—”
Cutting me off, he hisses back at me, desperation like I’ve never heard before dripping from every word. “If you bring Shore here, he’ll find out about the Draven curse. If he pries inside my mind and goes looking for the truth of what happened, he’ll see the monster within me, within us.”
Now my gut is churning for a different, equally horrifying reason. I turn back to him and he finally meets my eyes, a haunted look in his own.
“Ididn’t touch her.”
His gaze drops away like he can’t bear for me to see it any longer, and I finally look him over properly. A faint sheen of sweat across his brow, his eyes flashing in the low light of the room as his panic takes over, the pallor of his skin as he’s all but panting to stop himself from vomiting.
Bile rushes up my own throat violently, choking me as I’m forced to face the horrifying truth. Only minutes ago, I begged some greater power for there to be some misunderstanding, some confusion here that meant my brother hadn’t become the same monster that his abuser had been. Now I know that he didn’t cross that line, but instead he’s endured that same loss of control, that same sexual abuse, only this time there’s no way to explain the true perpetrator without risking both our lives, and the lives of the rest of our Bond Group, including our Central Bond, who is also a victim in this mess. This isn’t the absolution I was hoping for; it isn’t a ‘better’ trauma for my Bond to endure.
But there’s no such thing, is there? We’re all the losers in this fight, no matter which side we stand on, because how can I blame Oleander for running from us all when this is what happens to her in my care? When there really are monsters hiding within our bodies, lying in wait until they can take what they want from her, whether she consents to their actions or not.
Nox finally lets out a breath, his eyes dull now. It’s always been this way with his trauma, a sudden retreat into his own mind to keep himself distracted from reality. He’s never processed anything that was done to him, only found ways to block out the memories, and as I watch him deploy the same tactics for this situation, I feel him slipping through my fingers again.
In a monotone voice, blanched of life, he dismisses me with one final declaration before he tucks himself back into his reading chair and buries himself in his book once more. “I didn’t want to do anything with that girl. I didn’t want any of it.”
I leave him behind with no idea of what to do now, of how to fix any of this, of how to even explain away the situation without putting his life at risk or diminishing what took place.
She didn’t panic until she saw his eyes shift.
The monster living inside him did this to them both.
TWENTY-SEVEN
GABE
North messages me long before dawn to let me know Oli stayed at the Draven mansion last night and I should come grab her from there. He’s short and overly formal, both of which are bad signs of his mood, and when I arrive early, I can make an educated guess why.
His front fence, driveway, and garden have been totaled. Like, it looks as though they were taken out by a meteor shower or something. I have to get off of my motorbike and walk it up to the house just to direct it past the worst of the damage, and by the time Kieran opens the front door for me, my stomach is in knots.
He’s dressed in Tac gear from head to toe, the heavy-duty armor stuff that personnel only wear on the most suicidal missions.
He grimaces and shakes his head at me. “It’s precautionary, Ardern, don’t worry about it. We’re going after that Gifted that tried to take Shore out.”
Jesus.