Page 67 of Broken Ties
Her safety, her well-being, her presence, I want her and fear for her until I get some sensations back, only it’s fear clawing at me until I’m sure I must be bleeding by now.
“Dorms… I need—Oli?—”
Kieran doesn’t ask questions or hesitate, before I can even think about straightening up, he’s got a handful of my arm and with apop, his Gift yanks me through space and spits me out instantaneously outside of my Bond’s dorm room. Her door is shut, untouched, looking exactly as it does every morning, but ice creeps through my veins regardless.
What if she’s gone, too?
“She’s in there. I just checked in with Shore, and he confirmed.”
Kieran’s voice startles me out of my panic, the world sharpening around me again, and I realize how far I’d spiraled into chaos. “Fuck, sorry. I’m fine, I’m not going to lose my shit and Shift on you, I just—needed to know she was okay.”
My voice is shamefully weak, but he only shrugs back. “You’re worried about your Bond and making sure she’s safe; that’s exactly how you’re supposed to react, Gabe. Seeking her out for reassurance isn’t a bad thing.”
Staring at my bare feet, I don’t have the guts to look at him. “It's not exactly a good one either, though, is it? It’s not like she gives a fuck, and it’s pathetic that I can’t just accept that.”
The hallway is silent as Kieran nods back at me, all of the students still sleeping, and after a beat, he murmurs back to me, “Did I ever tell you about why I regret putting my blood into the registry?”
My heart is still thumping in my chest, loud enough I almost miss what he’s said, and I glance up to scowl at him. “I didn’t even know you’d put them in… I know families outside of the Top Tier community don’t usually unless they find someone they think is a match.”
He shifts to stand next to me, leaning against the wall separating us from my Bond who’s probably sleeping, peacefully unaware. He’s relaxed enough, but the training in him keeps him alert. His gaze runs the entry point circuit, casual enough that if I didn’t have my own training, I might’ve missed it. Still, his voice is earnest.
“I know Gryph and Nox wouldn’t have ratted me out no matter how much of a nightmare I became. Fuck, they didn’t even tell North about the entire fucking…messit became, even when he was the one fixing it all.”
My eyebrows raise and he sends me a sheepish look. “You already knew that I didn’t grow up around here, right? Well, I’m originally from the East Coast. My family was Lower Tier and lived outside of the community there. That’s pretty common for Gifted who don’t want to join the Resistance… it’s a whole different world out there.”
“I knew the dangers of making nice with other Bonded Groups before I hit grade school. My parents drummed it into me; any Gifted showing kindness are only trying to recruit you to die for the cause so they don’t have to.”
He pauses for a second, the sound of a door opening down the hall catching his attention, but when the girl heads straight to the bathroom without so much as a glance in our direction, he continues. “My mom died like that when I was young. I was raised by my dad and his other Bonded after they were forced to run or have us all die the same way. It only got worse as I got older though, because of how strong my Gift was. If the Resistance caught wind of it… well, we all knew I’d become a target. My dad pushed me to apply for a scholarship to Draven, and I was all in, ready to join a TacTeam and wipe those fucks from the face of the Earth, but my dad wanted me to get a good job, far away from the Resistance. I fought with him a lot over it, but he was terrified of losing me like he lost my mom, and I quit TT senior year because of it. I felt like a weak dickhead, avoided everyone, all the usual shit, but Gryph came looking for me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He heard me out and instead of leaving me behind, he offered to help me move my family to Draven. It was… the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. A month after they moved here, my family was taken by scouts.”
He stops for a second, not finishing that part of the story, but I know it already. My own father was taken by those same scouts, and his body was recovered days later. Now Toby is gone, too. Maybe he’s alive, maybe he’s already dead. It doesn’t matter how many teams North sends after him, our recovery rate is abysmal.
He’s gone.
With a side-long look at me, Kieran continues. “I joined the TacTeams with Gryph and Nox. It wasn’t just to hunt down the scum that killed my family; I felt expendable now that there was no one left to miss me. Finding my Bond was the last thing on my mind. God, after yours vanished into thin air, it only made me more certain I didn’t want to invite that pain into my life.”
When he pauses again, he looks down at his feet just like I just had, like he’s embarrassed or sheepish about the next part of the story, and it’s so unlike him that some of my own shame melts away. I get why he’s one of the very few Gifted that Gryph and the Dravens trust. He was sent to tell me some horrible news and instead of taking me to my Bond Group to deal with me or just bailing the second I stopped puking, he’s here opening up about shit he’d obviously rather forget.
I take a deep breath and remember that no matter how terrible today is, I’m lucky to be where I am. Even if my Bond hates me. Even if she never finds me worthy of her. I have a lot more than so many other Gifted ever get.
“I had my blood drawn last year on freshman orientation day. I wasn’t even supposed to be here, but Shore moved our roll-out time by an hour so he could walk you into the Training Center to meet Vivian properly, in an official sense. He’d spent all morning snapping at the rest of the Team, nervous as fuck for you because he knew you were coming without your family, and he fucking hated that for you. So, I was running interference and trying to contain the fallout when I ran into a Gifted that, quite literally, knocked me onto my ass. She was… absolutelyfuckingperfect.”
He smiles for a second before it melts away, like that one moment was a good memory. I swallow roughly, knowing there’s no happy ending to come.
“I went straight to the labs because there was no possible explanation except that she was my Bond, but then—nothing flagged. I thought maybe she hadn’t put her blood in. Draven isn’t that big, so I asked around, and it was easy to find out her entire life story. There was no chance she was my Bond, she wasn’t even a Central. Whatever I felt, she definitely didn’t.”
He takes another breath before he pushes away from the wall, scuffing his boot on the carpet. “If I felt all of that for aGifted who wasn’t my Bond, I can only imagine the hell you’re all in right now. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
I nod slowly, glancing away from him and out the window where the sun is steadily rising to cast an orange glow over the campus. “I’m trying, but it’s hard not to feel absolutely pathetic and useless. Gryph and the others are holding themselves together, while I’m just going to class and losing my shit over everything. At least everyone else is coping without becoming a problem.”
Kieran scoffs as he sends me a smirk. “Nox isabsolutelybecoming a problem but, honestly, so did I. I don’t think my liver will ever recover properly. I was drunk for three solid months and Shore was on the brink of being forced to have me stand down… then I found your Bond. It’s helped keep me busy enough to stop thinking about the Gifted, my awful luck, and just how much a bottle of Jack would help me to forget it all exists.”
There’s sounds of life from inside my Bond’s room, relief flooding through my veins even after his reassurances. Kieran glances at the door as well before turning back to me, a smirk sliding over his face that looks way more familiar than the scowl it’s replacing.
“We better get you back to your place to get ready before your Bond beats you out the door. Nox will set his legion of nightmares on you if you try to show up to his class barefoot and in boxers.”
As much asI’m hoping the other students will have enough decency, or even a shred of empathy, to just leave me the hell alone, my phone is blowing up with messages about Toby before I step foot on campus again. After spending over an hour in theshower getting my head together so I can get through the day without losing control, I ruin it by attempting to tell my Mom about the abductions. God knows why, but maybe I felt guilty at keeping it from her, or maybe that stupid, childish need for her to speak to me properly won out and I was hoping I could make her show up for me for once. It didn’t just backfire; it blew up in my face.
She didn’t even remember her own nephew’s name.