Page 44

Skull

“Skull?”

“Right here, Mi Cielo,” I murmur, eyes on the road.

I am right here in the cab of my truck, holding my woman’s hand, but then again, I am not.

Dragon was right. Fuck me, he was right.

My Beth is wasting away. Carlos can barely look at me—something he and Torch share, by the way.

I’ve been so lost in the darkness that my family is fading away and I wasn’t even aware of it. Fuck me.

“I need you not to be an asshole with Gabby. She needs us. Do not make it impossible for her to have us.”

“I will not allow her to whore herself out to a man that is too hard, too old, and fucking her to get over his wife,” I answer.

My voice is cold and monotone. That’s because I’m holding onto my anger.

If I had gotten my head out of my ass—to quote a term Dragon used over and over while dragging me outside to take the fucking water hose to me like it was a shower—I would have had my daughter home safe and not in another damn mess.

Fucking water was cold as ice and I’m pretty sure that my balls are still frozen.

It’s a fuck of a way to sober up, but it did the job.

It might not have worked completely, but seeing my Beth staring at me from the front door of my house—holding onto Torch like if she didn’t, the wind would carry her away— did .

Dragon said she’s lost weight. He didn’t tell me my woman was skin and bones.

I could fucking see her ribs. I doubt she’s had one full meal since we lost our son—and again, that’s on me.

The fact my daughter is somehow tied up with another of Dragon’s sons?

That’s on me too. Not to mention the small tidbit that my hijo can’t even look at me.

Yeah, I’ve fucked up every way I could. My Diego would be kicking my ass right now.

Fuck, I wish he could be here kicking my ass.

“Skull?” Beth whispers. Hell, even her voice is weak. I did that. I. Did. That.

“I won’t lose our daughter. She needs us. I’ll make sure she knows she has us.”

“Our first grandchild,” she whispers.

Motherfucker.

“Yeah,” I choke out, my chest feeling so tight I’m surprised I’m still breathing.

“You going to be okay?” she asks in a way that I know she’s worrying I’ll slip back into the darkness.

I can’t let her know that the darkness is always close.

It lives inside of me. I always feel it.

I got my Beth back years ago—after years of believing she was dead.

When I got her back, there was so much shit between us that I’m not sure how we made it through to the other side.

Still, I knew then—and still know now—that she had changed.

She seemed tough enough to give me hell—which she did.

Yet, that hid the fact that she was fucking delicate in a way she had never been before we were torn apart.

If it hadn’t been for Katie being at her side all those years ago, my Beth would have never survived.

To this day, she lives in fear of losing me.

I knew it. I saw the shadows in her eyes, held her through her nightmares.

I know my woman has gone through life afraid.

I am the man who continuously beats that back for her.

Hell, I’ve dedicated my life to nurturing her, taking care of her, and making sure that she’s safe.

Then, the moment she needed me the most, I let her down.

No more. I won’t slack on that job any longer—for her or my children.

Diego wouldn’t want that, because he took care of his mamá, too.

He knew what I did, and he went out of his way to support her.

Most men would have found it wrong to have to hold up a woman who was, at times, lost or weak.

To me, it was my privilege and a chance to fix something that life broke deep inside her.

I let her down and that kills me. I refuse to do it again.

That includes mending fences with my daughter and bringing her home.

I won’t let her be chewed up and spit out again by one of the West boys.

I know the shit my daughter pulled. I was disappointed in her, but Carlos pulled me aside after Diego’s funeral and spoke with me about the fucking crap Dom shoveled at my daughter.

Diego had a buddy who was a member of Dragon’s crew.

So, he was in the know enough to enlighten Diego.

Told him to help Gabby pull herself together, because he liked her.

None of what Dom did justified the fucked-up mess Gabby instigated.

Still, I can see how my daughter was broken enough to try to hold on to the only boy she’d ever loved.

The fault rests on my shoulders yet again.

If I’d been a better father—knew what was happening—I could have stepped in.

I didn’t, and that’s on me. I can this time, though, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

“It’s going to be okay, Beth,” I assure her—while hoping like hell I’m right.

“Okay,” she whispers. I can tell she doesn’t believe me. I didn’t expect her to. Beth used to have all the faith in the world in me. She’s lost that, and it is more than understandable. I’m going to earn it back, though. Somehow, I will.

“It will. We’ll get our daughter back and we’ll bring her and our grandchild home. I’ll get back to making sure I’m here for you and for our kids. It’s what our Diego would expect from me, and that’s the man I’m going to be.”

“He would,” she agrees with a soft breath, the words full of unshed tears. “Diego was his father’s son. He’d expect you to shield Gabby and Carlos.”

And his mother. I don’t tell her that, but it’s true just the same. As I turn onto the road that the GPS says I need to take to get to Gabby’s rental, I squeeze Beth’s hand. I’ll find a way to make this right with Gabby. I can’t lose her, too.

I can’t.