Page 20

Gabby

“I’m just saying you shouldn’t have let them think we’re a couple,” I complain.

Honestly, since shopping with King, I’m a mess. Listening to all of them talk, and King calling me his woman, sent me for a loop. Mostly because what they all said terrified me and hearing King claim me as his … excited me. Which is bad. Very, very, very bad.

First and foremost, I’m broken. The thought of a man around me, wanting me, sends me into a deep panic.

I still have nightmares from the attack.

The only time they haven’t haunted me is when I’ve either worked myself into exhaustion, or King is with me.

That’s also a bad sign. I can’t allow myself to be reliant on another man.

I did that with Dom until the point I was desperate.

It was never that way with T, but then I used him.

He never had my heart. I hurt him and I hate that I did, even if he is better now.

I still made decisions that broke pieces in him and his relationship with his brother.

I will always carry those regrets, but that’s not going to change what I did.

It’s taken a lot of therapy to own up to that.

I have a feeling it’s going to take a lot more to be comfortable in the skin I’m in and somehow put the past to rest. If that’s even possible.

“Why do you care about what people in a damn store think? Are you ashamed to be seen with me, Gabby?”

“What?” I screech. “How could you even think that? Of the two of us, I’m the one you should be worried about being linked to.

I can just hear them all talk now. They’ll tell you I’m working through your whole family.

Remind you of all the shit I pulled on Dom and T.

That’s the last thing you need in your life, King.

I’m the last thing you need in your life.

You think Shelby took you for a ride? The nightmare your family would send you on if you were ever linked with me would make that look like a walk in the park. ”

I barely get the words out before he pulls to the side of the road. We’re not five minutes from my house, but apparently, he plans on making a point. I wring my hands together and try to brace. I don’t think I’m prepared nearly enough and that becomes even clearer when King opens his mouth.

“Do I look like a kid to you, Gabby?”

“Huh?”

“Do I look like a kid who is worried about what his parents—who aren’t exactly my parents—think?”

“Well, I mean, Dragon is kind of your dad. So, you’re kind of wrong.”

“No. He’s a fixture in my life. Maybe a friend at times, but he didn’t raise me.

He didn’t buy me one damn thing, and I owe him nothing.

I think I like him and Nicole, but that’s the sum of what our relationship is.

Now, I’m going to ask again, do I look like the kind of man who gives a fuck what they think about my life? ”

“Um … No, I guess not—at least not at this juncture.”

“At this juncture? What kind of bullshit is that?”

“It’s not bullshit,” she argues. “You like him. You’re mostly friends now. Nicole is a sweetheart. You can’t not like her. I think it’s impossible. You’re bound to grow closer to them, so that’s when it will matter.”

“Christ,” he curses, then turns to look at me.

“I know I’m older than you are, but you’ve been through enough shit, Sunshine.

That’s how I know you can grasp this. There comes a point in your life when you have to live for yourself.

Push what the fuck everyone thinks away and just make your own decisions and stand by them. ”

“O … Kay,” I finally say, dragging the word out and taking a deep breath to be able to say it.

I can feel myself trembling and I’m not even sure why I’m scared.

This is King. He’s the one man—who I know deep inside—that will never hurt me.

Still, this is fear that is creeping up on me. I just don’t know what I’m afraid of.

“What I’m saying, sweetheart. My life is my own. If people can’t accept my choices, they don’t get to be in it.”

“King?”

“Yeah?”

“Um … Why are you telling me all this?”

“Are you shitting me right now, woman?”

“I don’t think so?” I whisper.

“Gabby, I know you’re not ready for more than friendship.”

Oh God. What’s happening right now? “I … I’m pregnant,” I point out.

“And straight up, I hate the way it happened, but the fact you’re standing by your child is fucking beautiful and it doesn’t factor into our relationship at all, other than I want to step up and be here for both of you.”

“You’re … you’re freaking me out again.”

“Good, Sunshine, because I’m a little freaked about it, too. If you remember, I just got chewed up and spit out by one woman. I’m not all fired up to do it again.”

I nod, because that’s an emotion that I can whole heartedly agree on. “Yeah.”

“I’m also going to tell you something else that’s going to freak you out worse, so you need to prepare.”

“I don’t think I’m equipped to do that at the moment,” I argue and for some strange reason, his face that was taut with emotion softens and he smiles.

He reaches out and puts some of my hair behind my ear. “You’re the strongest person I’ve met. I think you can handle it. In fact, I know you can.”

I take a breath that somehow shudders through me.

There are vehicles on the main road passing us, but they fade away as I stare into his eyes.

King thinks I’m strong. I think I even see pride in his eyes.

This man knows all my dirty secrets and instead of running away and never speaking to me again, he’s remained a friend and helped me to survive.

I don’t know what all this means, but I know that if he thinks I’m strong, then I’m somehow going to find a way to live up to what he sees in me.

“Hit me,” I invite, hoping I hide the terror I’m feeling.

“I like you, Gabby. I like the way you shine a light into my world when I’m around you. I love the way you make me laugh. I love that you and I can talk about anything from Etta James to seventies porn and do it in a way that is natural, fun, and hilarious.”

“Just a small point here. I think it may be illegal to mention the goddess that is Etta James in the same sentence as seventies porn.”

“Duly noted.” He laughs, and despite my fear, I find a smile.

His hand comes over mine and he stops me from wringing my hands.

“I don’t know where this thing between us is going to go.

I know you have a lot of healing to do. I know you’re not ready.

I also don’t know what I’m equipped to give right now.

All I’m asking is that we give us time to see what there is between us. ”

“What there is between us?” I squeak, pretty sure I know what he’s saying but needing him to make it really clear.

“Tell me you don’t feel what’s between us.

Straight up, Gabby. If you don’t, then I will pull back.

I’m not pressuring you. No matter what happens between us, I don’t want to lose you in my life.

I will be here for jellybean, and I will always find a way to be here for you.

That’s my promise to you, and I mean that shit. ”

“Okay,” I reply, because that sounds good.

Really good. I can’t imagine not having King in my life.

The last couple of days with him have been the best in my life.

That’s not even an exaggeration. I feel more me when he’s around.

I don’t feel empty or dirty. I feel … almost normal.

He’s still holding my hands, so I give him a squeeze.

“Okay, what?”

I bite my bottom lip. I know what he wants me to say. I’m not sure I can give him that.

“King, I’m moving to Denver.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not!” I argue, feeling close to panic again.

“How about we give this time to see what’s between us? If it works out, you try staying here with me. If you’re unhappy, but we’re still good, I’ll go with you.”

“I … You can’t be serious. Why would you move to Colorado? Everything you love and know is here!”

“Gabby, if things work out between us, everything I love is right in front of me right now.”

“I think that hit the scale on freak outs that are allowed in one night,” I tell him.

“Just one more thing.”

“King,” I beg.

“Just admit you feel this pull between us, too. If you can do that. We’ll take it slow and see where we’re at by the time jellybean is born. If you can’t do that, then all of this is just on my part, and I’ll deal with that. You won’t feel the burn of it. I won’t allow you to.”

I believe him. King would keep on being here for me.

Even if it hurt him, he’d still do it. I want to lie to him.

It would be better for him. His family will never accept anything between us.

There’s a big chance that he’ll regret anything and everything that happens, because I’ll never be whole enough to give King what he deserves.

The only thing is, I never want to lie to King.

I never want to lie to anyone again. I don’t want to slip off the road that I’ve started on.

So, instead of doing what every instinct I have is telling me to do, I look up at King and give him three little words that I know— I freaking know— will change my life forever.

“I feel it, too.”

I watch as relief floods his features. He leans down and presses his lips to mine. It’s a closed mouth kiss. He doesn’t push for more. Yet somehow, in just that simple lip touch, it’s more potent than anything I’ve ever felt before.

I think I’m in trouble …