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This is all Dragon’s fault with his stupid talks that put even more stupid ideas in my head. Next time I see him, I’m going to deck him and knock him on his ass. It will be no less than he deserves.

“This is why I’m never getting married,” my personal shopper tells the checkout girl.

“You women seem so nice and then you just go crazy. It’s like that show Bride-zilla?

Where all the brides go crazy and start demanding crazy things.

It begins with the wedding and it just goes downhill from there. ”

“What the hell do you think you are saying?” she snaps back, proving she might be timid with me, but she’s not scared of my shopper guy at all.

Right now, she’s looking at him like she wants to kill him.

“It’s you men who give the mixed signals.

Do you see a ring on her hand?” Shopper guy just looks at Gabby and then turns his eyes back to the woman.

“Well, do you?” she insists when he doesn’t answer.

“Well, no.”

“That’s right. This man knocked her up and here he is trying to buy her shit because he won’t follow through on all the promises he made her.

That’s weak.” She turns her attention back to me.

“I’m sorry, scary-looking-biker-dude, but it’s weak .

You knock a woman up, then your ring should be on her hand.

Unless she’s a one-night mistake, but obviously she ain’t that, because you’re buying her a shit ton of crap. ”

“She’s not a mistake. I care for her.”

“Then it’s a weak move and you’re not being a man.”

“Hey, wait a minute. King is a good man. He’s the best man I know,” Gabby defends me, making me smile.

“Then why aren’t you letting him buy you stuff without having a shit fit?” the woman asks. “Hell, a great-looking guy like him wants to buy me everything I want—and spending over a grand—then I’m not only going to let him, but I’m also going to assure him that he’s getting lucky tonight.”

“I’m not doing that,” Gabby steps back, going white.

“Really? Girl, when my sister was that far along in her pregnancy, she was needy. I’m talking nee-dy .”

She draws out the word so everyone gets her drift. It’s then that I notice everyone is at a standstill, listening to everything. Gabby is clearly freaking out.

“Maybe we should just move along here so we can be going. The line is getting kind of long,” I suggest, but apparently when you get a woman talking who seems shy but isn’t, they don’t shut up.

“I’m talking he had to give it to her four times a day. Sometimes five, and to achieve that fifth, he had to get inventive. I know because she told me all about it. Man, some of those moves he used on her should be patented.”

“I … um …”

The clerk lowers her voice just a decimal—everyone can still hear—and leans into Gabby like she’s swapping secrets with an old friend.

“This one time? He made her lie down, press her knees against her breasts and kick her legs up. Then he caged her in. His body was kind of horizontal while she was vertical, you know? Like if she could put her legs down, they’d make like the letter X, but she couldn’t cause she had him over her body, holding her down. You get me?”

“Um … I …” Gabby says, basically repeating the same words just in a different order. Her eyes are wide and she’s looking at me in a panic.

“Okay! That’s enough. I need out of here. You can give my woman sex position pointers on our next visit.”

“King …” Gabby says, sounding more scared.

“You sure you like this guy? He seems kind of grouchy to me.”

“Lynette, he’s dropping over a grand and the woman was bitching at him about it. That would make any man grouchy,” my shopper guy says, taking up for me.

Ignoring them, I pull Gabby into my arms. I rub the small of her back with my fingers, trying to ease the tension that is holding her tight. I bring my head down so my lips are close to her ear and whisper, “Relax, Sunshine.”

She turns to look up at me. “I don’t know who is freaking me out more, you or Lynette,” she hisses.

I give her a wink and kiss her forehead. “Well, damn. Girlfriend, I don’t know you, but if I had a man who looked at me like that and kissed my damn forehead while spending a boatload of cash on me, I’d keep him.”

I laugh as I put my card in the reader.

“I could be talked into giving him to you,” Gabby murmurs, making me shoot her a mean look, but she’s smiling and there’s color back in her face.

“No thanks. That man is fine, but he’s clearly sewn up in you so tight you’re the only woman he’s thinking about. Following that is not a path any woman needs to try to meander on.”

I shake my head as my personal shopper rolls out one of our carts full of crap and I push the other that has my grill in it.

Luckily, I got the floor model that was already assembled.

That way we can use it tonight. Having bought the pellets too, I should be good to go.

We load up and I slip the guy the money I promised, but he doesn’t let me go without a little more advice.

Why? I have no idea, except everyone seems to want to chime in on me and Gabby lately. What the hell?

“Man, your girl, she’s hot—seriously hot. I know you already got a bun in her oven, so you’re a little trapped, but word of advice. If you start spoiling her like this all the time, she’s going to expect it. Then, you’re in deep shit. You need to slack off a little. You know?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I grumble. He walks off, taking the empty carts with him and I bite my tongue to keep from telling him to stop noticing how hot Gabby is.

Yeah. I’m in deep shit at this point. I’m going to kill Dragon. All of this is his fault.

The bastard.