Page 68 of Breaking the Pucking Rules (LA Vipers #1)

KODIE

I swear, as Mom closes the door behind her, she sucks all the air in the room out with her.

The weight of everything I’ve felt since stepping off that airplane and seeing Mom standing there with worry etched onto her face finally starts to ebb away.

Sutton is okay. Of course, even a mild concussion is something to be concerned about, but as an ice hockey player, they’re inevitable.

I hate that she’s involved in a sport that will result in injuries, but I’d never stop her from doing something she loves so much.

I just wish I could protect her at all times.

Movement at the end of Sutton’s bed brings me back to the here and now, and my eyes shift between my daughter and the woman who’s been at her side since the incident earlier.

The second my gaze lands on Casey, my heart contracts.

She looks exhausted, and something tells me it’s not just the stress of the morning that’s causing it.

I hate myself for it. But I can’t deny that I want her to be struggling the way I am right now.

Doing the right thing fucking sucks.

My head knows I’ve done what I needed to do. It followed all the rules.

But my heart …

My heart is an entirely different story.

That is battered and broken, begging to be listened to. It doesn’t care about the rules; it just wants to beat the way it did when Casey was mine.

I rub my chest, right above my broken heart.

Silence surrounds us, but despite the thousands of things I’ve dreamed of saying to her, all my words seem to dry up.

Instead, I stand there staring between the two girls who have changed my life in so many different ways.

We’ve never been alone in a room like this before.

Hell, I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve allowed this close to Sutton.

Having Casey here with us, knowing she’s been taking care of my girl in my place…it makes my heart beat faster, and not in a bad way. In a really, really good way.

Casey shuffles forward again as I continue to battle to remember what words are.

“I…um…I should go,” Casey whispers as she moves toward the door.

“Dad,” Sutton begs weakly.

It’s her voice that brings me back, and as Casey passes me, my hand shoots out, my fingers wrapping around her wrist, stopping her.

“Stay,” I breathe.

The reality is that this is a hospital, and she’s been here for hours already. It’s probably the last place she wants to be.

The game finished hours ago. She’d probably almost be home by now if it weren’t for Sutton.

I should let her go.

But I’m fed up with doing what I should do.

It’s making me fucking miserable.

And now, she’s right here, and it’s where I want her to stay.

She freezes at my side, her breath catching in her throat at my demand.

It takes her a moment—a moment which feels like a fucking lifetime—before she turns to look up at me.

Her eyes are red rimmed from crying, the shadows beneath them dark with exhaustion.

Let her go , a little voice screams in my head.

But I can’t.

“I’m sorry, I?—”

“I can stay,” she says softly, her eyes searching mine. I have no idea what she’s looking for, or if she finds it, but after a moment, her shoulders relax.

A huge sigh of relief passes my lips, but I don’t let go of her. I can’t.

The warmth from her skin and the electric sparks that shoot up my arm are too addictive.

“Would you like another coffee?” she asks when no other words are said.

“Uh…”

“I’ll go and get us some. Sutton,” she says, ripping her eyes from me and focusing on my sleepy-looking daughter. “Would you like anything?”

Sutton shakes her head. “Gran’s bringing me candy,” she says with a smile.

“I’ll be right back,” she says before slipping from my grasp and moving toward the door.

The second she pulls it open and steps outside, I panic.

Spinning on the balls of my feet, I race after her.

“Casey,” I call.

She turns around instantly, her eyes wide with panic, but when her eyes land on me, her expression softens.

“I’m just going for coffee,” she says softly.

“Please come back.”

I know I don’t have any right to ask that of her. I’ve been an asshole. She deserves much better, but…I don’t want her to leave.

A smile pulls at the corners of her lips.

“I’m coming back. Go in there and be with Sutton. I won’t be long.”

I hesitate, feeling like I’m being torn in two.

God, life was so much easier when my heart only belonged to one girl.

Letting her go, I step back into Sutton’s room and rest back against the door. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths.

I’m in love with Casey Watson.

The realization hits me out of nowhere, my heart pounding erratically inside my chest.

“Daddy?” a soft voice asks, dragging me from my thoughts. “Are you okay?”

Fucking hell. Today is wrecking me.

Ripping my eyes open, I focus on my daughter.

“Yeah, Peanut. I’m really good.”

For the first time in a very long time, a little bit of hope trickles through my veins.

She mirrors my smile as I close the gap between us and lower myself back into the chair beside her bed.

“I really like Casey,” she confesses, making my heart slam against my ribs once again.

“Yeah, you may have mentioned her being your new favorite coach.”

“I don’t just mean as a coach, Daddy.”

Our eyes hold as understanding passes between us.

Sutton’s maturity and awareness blow me away sometimes. But I know I only have myself to blame. She’s spent her formative years surrounded by adults and grown-up conversation. It’s no surprise she’s in tune with what’s happening around her, even if she doesn’t fully understand it yet.

“I like Casey too,” I agree, making Sutton beam.

“You know, it’s okay if you want a girlfriend.”

This girl...

“I love you, Sutton,” I say, my voice rough with emotion.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

We both fall silent, lost in our own thoughts, and only a few seconds later, her eyes fall closed and her breathing evens out.

“Fucking hell,” I mutter, dragging my hand down my face and slouching back in the chair.

I watch her sleep, wondering how on Earth I was lucky enough to have a daughter as incredible as her.

I try my best not to think about the woman who gave her to me, but every now and then, I can’t help but think about how much she’s missing out on.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her in either of our lives, but she has no idea just how perfect her little girl is.

Long, silent minutes pass before the door behind me opens and soft footsteps move closer.

I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. Her scent wafts over me as my body reacts to her proximity.

“Here,” she says, passing me a takeout cup before walking around the bed with her own in hand.

“Thank you,” I muse, my eyes tracking her every movement as she lowers herself into the other chair.

I want to demand she move it over so she can be closer to me, but I refrain.

I might have made a few decisions about where I want things to go with us, but I’m not under any illusion that she’ll be on the same page after the way I’ve treated her.

She’s here for Sutton right now, not me.

I want her to be here for me, though.

“She finally sleeping?” Casey asks, keeping her eyes on Sutton.

“Yeah.”

“I tried to get her to sleep while we were waiting for you, but she refused until you got here.”

My heart seizes.

“Well, I’m here now,” I say like an idiot.

“Yeah,” she mutters.

I keep my attention on Sutton for a few seconds, thanking any deity who’ll listen to an asshole like me that she’s okay. But my eyes inevitably drift to Casey again.

It’s been the same since I ran into her that night at the ball. Our bodies are like two magnets that can’t help but gravitate toward each other. The pull is ridiculous, and I don’t think it’s going to lessen any time soon. If anything, it’s getting stronger.

“Casey,” I whisper, forcing her eyes to lift to mine. “I’m sorry. ”

Her brows pinch, her throat rippling with a thick swallow.

“It’s okay. I?—”

“No. It’s not okay. How I acted…nothing about that was okay.”

Casey’s eyes flick to Sutton briefly before she focuses back on me again.

“I should have told you. It was my fault. I blindsided you and?—”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask.

“Because it was just another reason why we shouldn’t have been…” Her eyes jump to Sutton again, watching to see if she’s still sleeping. “Doing what we were doing,” she continues a little quieter.

“I was scared,” I blurt, unable to keep the words in any longer.

She blinks, reaching up to tuck a loose lock of hair behind her ear as she contemplates my confession.

“Was scared?” she asks hesitantly.

I shake my head. “I am scared,” I clarify.

Nodding, she twists her fingers in her lap, leaving me hanging on that confession.

As the seconds tick on, I regret saying it more and more.

But then, her lips part, and she whispers, “So am I.”

Our eyes hold as the air in the room thickens. My chest heaves as I fight to drag in each breath. My body burns for her. I want to march over there, pull her into my arms, and never let her go.

Sutton whimpers in her sleep, and I’m dragged back to reality.

“Casey, I—” My words are cut off as the door behind me opens again and Mom rejoins us.

She looks between us with a frown on her brow.

“Everything okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “Sutton is sleeping.”

Mom glances at Sutton before looking back at me with a raised brow as if to say, no shit.

She walks around me and places a huge bag of candy on the unit beside Sutton before moving toward the window and perching on the low sill.

“I should arrange a ride home,” Casey says, rising from her chair with her coffee still in hand.

The thought of her leaving sends a bolt of panic through me.

“We can take you back tomorrow,” I say.

Casey’s eyes hold mine. I swear I see a little spark of something within them. “I have work tomorrow,” she mutters, although there isn’t much conviction in the words.

“I’m sure they won’t mind if you go in a little late,” Mom says hopefully.

“Mom,” I warn, aware of what she’s doing.

“What?” she asks innocently. “You have a game tomorrow night. You need to be back early. Assuming Sutton is okay, I’m guessing we’ll be leaving early so you’re back in time.”

Casey looks between the two of us, indecision warring in her eyes.

“I can work remotely. I have my laptop and?—”

“You’ve had a long day. Stay, rest, and then start over tomorrow,” Mom says, her tone a little more commanding than I’ve heard for a while. I study her, trying to figure out what her game plan is here.

“What?” she mouths.

“A night in a hotel sounds like heaven right now,” Casey finally admits.

“Exactly.” Mom digs into her purse and pulls out a hotel keycard. “Go and have a bath. Relax.”

“Oh, I can’t accept that,” Casey argues.

“You looked after our girl today. We owe you everything for that.”

When Casey looks back at me, all I do is smile encouragingly.

“Okay,” she concedes. “I know she’s okay, but will you let me know if that changes?”

“Of course,” Mom agrees while I sit there, mute.

Casey hesitates, but after a couple of seconds, she moves toward the door.

“I’ll walk you out,” Mom says in a rush, and not a moment later, they’ve both disappeared, leaving me with my sleeping daughter and my head spinning.