Page 60 of Breaking the Pucking Rules (LA Vipers #1)

CASEY

“ Y ou really mean business tonight, huh?” Parker asks as we filter into the arena with the other Vipers fans excited for tonight’s game.We invited Freya to join us, but she couldn’t even be convinced with the promise of margaritas and tacos.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I shoot over my shoulder.

“Sure you don’t,” she muses. “I thought wearing another player’s jersey was brutal, but somehow, I think tonight is worse.”

Finding our row, I make my way down to our seats.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m wearing the jersey of the man I’m here to support tonight,” I explain, glancing down at my vintage Vipers jersey with Watson on the back.

“Exactly,” Parker agrees. “The second Kodie sees it, he’ll understand the message.”

“There is no message,” I lie.

I stood in my closet for a good five minutes before I decided what to wear to tonight’s game.

There was no way I was wearing Rivers on my back, especially after what we did while I was wearing it after his road games.

And I didn’t want to torment him by wearing Linc’s or any of the other guys’.

That’s just asking for trouble, and I don’t have the energy for those kinds of games.

So, I settled on wearing Dad’s. After all, he’s the reason I’m here tonight.

Okay, that might be a lie as well, but he’s the main reason.

“Sure, whatever you say,” Parker says before taking a huge gulp of beer.

She had late clients this evening, so we weren’t able to grab dinner before the game like we usually would.

“I still think you should call him later, claim your prize.”

“Are you suggesting we’re going to lose?” I ask in horror.

“I guess that depends if your man out there is as heartbroken as you.”

“Firstly, I’m not heartbroken,” I state, despite the fact my heart currently feels like it’s been put through a meat grinder. “And secondly, I doubt he’s given me a second thought.”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “Girl, you know that’s not true.”

I shrug. There’s a part of me that really wishes she’s right. But she can’t be. It’s been three days since I sent that apology message, and I haven’t seen or heard from him.

If he were missing me, or even slightly heartbroken, then surely he’d have reached out?

You haven’t .

All of this is my fault, I’m more than aware of that.

If I’d just told him…

The volume of the music around us increases as the seats fill with fans ready to cheer on their beloved Vipers.

“You should message him good luck,” Parker suggests.

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can.”

“It might make it worse,” I reason.

“Or it might make it better,” she counters.

My cell burns red hot in my pocket as I consider it.

Deciding that I should risk it, I pull my cell free, but just before I wake it up, an excited voice hits my ears.

“Coach C! Oh my god, we’re your game buddies.”

I look down the row of seats to find Sutton beaming at me. She’s in full Vipers gear and she’s clutching her bear who’s also branded up. She looks beyond cute, and her excitement to see me makes my heart ache even more than it already was.

My eyes shoot to the ice despite the fact I know he’s not on it.

The guys have already done their warmup.

Usually, I’d make sure I was here early enough to watch.

It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen him out there rolling those hips; it’ll never be enough.

But tonight, I couldn’t face it. Seeing him play is going to be hard enough.

Watching those moves would be physically painful.

Kodie isn’t going to like this. But what the hell can I do about it?

Those are their seats, and I refuse to leave mine.

Sure, I could watch from the friends and family suite.

I could probably even sweet-talk my way into the team box as well, depending on who’s working security tonight.

But I don’t want to. I want to be down here, feet away from the plexiglass so I flinch whenever someone slams into it.

I want to be close enough to see the expressions on the players’ faces.

I want to scream, knowing they can hear me, not just blend into the crowd.

And from the look on Sutton’s face, she wants that too.

God, I remember being her age and arguing with Dad about being safer in the family suite. Screw that. I didn’t want to watch him from a distance. I wanted to be right there, able to see his face the moment he scored.

“I’m so excited,” Sutton squeals as her and Kathleen take their seats. “It’s been so long since I saw Daddy on the ice.”

Yeah. It’s been far too long.

“They’re going to kill it tonight. I can feel it.”

“I hope you’re right,” I say before looking up and greeting her gran, who’s also proudly wearing a number fifty-five jersey.

She studies me closely, and my stomach knots.

She knows.

My heart begins to race as I fight to say something that isn’t going to make me sound like a moron. But words no longer exist.

Instead, I smile awkwardly and swallow a massive mouthful of beer.

Fuck. This is bad.

Turning to Parker, I whisper-shout in her ear.

“His mom knows.”

“What? What makes you say that?”

“She saw his reaction the other night, and the way she just looked at me. She knows.”

“That might be a good thing. She could be on your side.”

“Or she might hate me.”

“Casey,” Parker sighs. “No one could ever hate you.”

My lips part to respond, but the lights dip as spotlights flash around the crowd, signaling the start of the game.

My cell buzzes in my pocket and my heart lurches into my throat. But when I pull it free, I don’t find the name I want staring back at me.

Freya: I hope you have a good night. Watching at home with Dad x

“She should have come,” Parker says when I show her the message. “It would have done her some good.”

I can’t argue with that. But also, I understand. She needs time to put everything behind her. I have every confidence she’ll find herself again.

“Please welcome your Vipers to the ice,” echoes around the arena. The crowd are on their feet, shouting and screaming, waving flags and banners as one by one, our players burst through a cloud of smoke and out onto the ice.

Fletch is first, then Linc, and then…

All the air rushes from my lungs the second I lock eyes on Kodie.

Fuck. I miss him.

It’s only been a couple of days, but everything feels wrong without him.

Sensing my reaction, Parker takes my hand, squeezing in support, as Kodie does a lap of the ice, his eyes locked on the first few rows of the crowd, searching for someone.

He’s looking for you.

He knows where you sit.

He wants ? —

His eyes land on their target, and his face lights up as the little girl beside me screams, “Daddy,” at the top of her voice.

Kodie skates right up to the board and blows her a kiss.

All the women around us scream, pretending that was directed at them, despite knowing the truth.

Kodie only has eyes for his girl. And rightly so.

He backs away from the plexiglass and is about to turn around when he looks up.

My breath catches as his eyes find mine.

All happiness from seeing his daughter is instantly wiped away, replaced by irritation.

Ouch.

He holds my gaze for a few heart-wrenching seconds before his eyes lower. The second he sees my jersey, the muscle in his throat tightens, and his lips press into a thin line.

Parker’s grip on my hand tightens, and the side of my face burns. I don’t look around, but I can picture Kathleen glancing between us with a knowing, yet concerned, look.

His eyes might be hiding behind his visor, but it doesn’t mask the anger and the frustration.

I’m frozen as he glares at me. I need to look away, but I can’t.

Eventually, he has to move to get into position, and if anything, the moment he takes his eyes from me is worse than the glare.

A sob rips up my throat, and before I know what I’m doing, I rush past Parker and those next to her to get out.

Tears burn my eyes as what feels like a giant elastic band wraps around my chest.

I can’t breathe.

Thankfully, everyone moves out of my way quickly, and before I know it, I’m racing toward the bathroom as others still enter the arena a second before the game starts.

“Casey,” Parker calls from behind me as I rush inside, the door slamming back against the wall.

“Oh my god,” I gasp, my fingers wrapping around the edge of the sink as I hang my head, closing my eyes tight. “Fuck.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Parker soothes.

“Nothing is about this is okay, Parker,” I snap a little more forcefully than I was intending. “I’ve fucked everything up.”

Pressing my hand to my chest, I fight to drag in the air I need.

“I’ve been lying to my dad, sneaking around behind his back. And for what?"

She stares at me.

“Nothing. For absolutely nothing. Going to that ball was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” I hiss. “I should have just forgotten about him when he moved here.”

“Casey,” Parker says, a little firmer, before gripping my upper arms and forcing me to look at her. “Breathe, okay? Deep breath in.” She does it with me. “And out.”

She repeats it a few more times until she’s confident I’ve calmed down a little.

“It’s too late to start second-guessing your decisions now. What’s done is done. All you can do is deal with the future.

“I know you’re hurting, Case. But it won’t always be like this.”

I hold her eyes, my own swimming with unshed tears.

“I miss him,” I whisper so quietly, I’m not even sure she hears me.

“So tell him. Tell him how you really feel. Tell him what you want.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “Will it help? Maybe, maybe not. But at least you’ll know that you’ve said exactly what’s in your heart. You’ll never regret telling him the truth.”

I sniffle, desperately trying to keep the tears in, and nod.

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Nothing about love is easy,” she says. “But sometimes, it’s worth the pain—or at least, so I’ve heard.”

All the air comes rushing out of my lungs as a door opens behind us and someone moves closer.

Glancing over, I find a familiar face with an empathetic smile on her lips.

“Parker’s right,” Reese, Fletch’s wife, says as she steps up to the sink and washes her hands.

“You missed the puck drop,” I say, unable to think of anything else to say.

Reese chuckles. “Nervous wee. I’m the same before every game. It never gets easier. Nerves for Fletch before a game, I mean. The relationship stuff gets easier,” she assures.

“Does it?” I whisper.

“If you’ve found the right one, yeah.”

She studies me for a beat, as if she’ll be able to read the answers on my face.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I was right there. Am I safe to assume that the man who has you twisted up in knots is out there right now wearing a pair of skates?”

Tipping my head back, I stare up at the ceiling.

I can trust Reese. She’s been a part of the Vipers family for a long time. But that doesn’t mean that confessing to my sins comes easily.

“Yes.”

“Look,” Reese says when I finally look back at her.

“I don’t expect you to give me any more than that, but let me just say this…

being with a professional hockey player is hard.

Really hard. Their training schedule alone is nuts, but then you add the road games and…

I swear, during the season, it can feel like I don’t really see him for months at a time.

I know I don’t really need to tell you this—you’ve lived this life longer than I have.

I just…I want you to go into whatever this is with your eyes open. ”

I nod. “I am, thank you.”

Reaching forward, she squeezes my hand.

“I need to get back out there. But if you need anything, you’ve got my number, right?”

I nod, appreciating the offer, and then she’s gone.

“You’ve gotta talk to him, Case. If you don’t, you’ll regret all of this more than you already do.”