Page 58 of Breaking the Pucking Rules (LA Vipers #1)

CASEY

M y heart slams against my ribs. The entire arena slips away from me. The only thing—the only person—I can see is Kodie standing on the opposite side of the ice behind the plexiglass, staring at me as if I’m a ghost.

Oh god.

He wasn’t meant to be here.

My blood runs cold.

He’s looking at me as if he doesn’t know me, not like I’m the woman he did all kinds of ungodly things to barely twenty-four hours ago.

Another girl on the team shouts in celebration of her goal, and I manage to rip my eyes away from Kodie’s and focus on my job.

Coaching, Casey. You should be coaching.

Just pretend he’s not here.

Fuck. That’s easier said than done.

I’m frozen on the ice as the last few girls take their shots.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Sutton rejoins her team and Kodie walks around the rink toward where his mom is sitting.

My stomach twists, the lunch I had hours ago threatening to reappear. Steeling myself, I try to focus on the task at hand. But honestly, running away right now seems like a much better option.

“Right, team,” I call getting the girls’ attention.

They skate over to where I’m standing, eager to hear what’s next.

Something settles inside me as twelve pairs of excited eyes hold mine.

“Fantastic work out there, guys. Some of the Vipers would be jealous of those goals. Now, we’re going to spend the next fifteen minutes working on our stick handling and passing before our friendly game to end our session.”

I glance up to see Megan already setting out the cones in two lines down the ice.

I was buzzing when she told me that today’s session was mine to plan and lead.

Or at least, I was until Kodie showed up.

Now, I’m a mess, and I’m questioning everything I’m getting the girls to do.

What if he doesn’t think it’s enough? What if he thinks I should be pushing harder? What if?—

I blink, forcing my worries from my head as I skate around the team and begin explaining their drill.

With three players at each end of the cones, Megan and I drop the puck, and the first girl takes off, weaving her way through, showing off her agility on the ice as well as her puck control.

Once she’s completed the course, she passes the puck to the next girl, who takes off back down through the cones.

“That’s it, keep the speed up,” I encourage as the girls weave in and out, so fluid and relaxed on the ice.

Aurora effortlessly weaves between the last two cones before she gets ready to pass to Sutton.

My eyes follow the puck as it leaves her stick and lands right on target. Sutton takes off with the kind of ease I’m used to seeing from the professionals.

As she embarks on the course, my gaze lifts to her father. I find him watching his daughter with nothing but love and awe in his eyes, and my heart tumbles.

That man is literally everything.

His attention doesn’t leave her until she’s passed to the next player, then he sits back, his eyes moving straight to me.

I swallow thickly.

His face is expressionless, so different to how he looked yesterday while we were hanging out, and I mentally kick myself for not pulling up my big girl pants and just telling him about this.

How badly could it have gone?

A shit ton better than it’s going right now.

Forcing myself to move, I turn my back to him and focus on my girls.

Once they’ve done two rounds of the drill, Megan hands out colored vests to go over their jerseys, turning them into two teams, and we stand back as they battle it out.

Pride for these girls oozes from my every pore.

Watching them put everything they’ve learned in our session to practice during a game, even if it is just a friendly one between themselves, is amazing.

I can only imagine how Kodie feels, watching his baby boss it on the ice.

With only a couple of bumps and girls skidding across the ice after a collision, we bring the game to an end and finish off our session.

After wishing them all a good rest of their week, we watch them wobble off on their skates toward their waiting parents.

“Good session, Coach,” Megan praises.

“Thanks,” I mutter, my stomach knotting tighter and tighter. “I’m going to check in with Mila, make sure she’s okay after that fall.”

Megan nods as a mom approaches to speak to her.

Swallowing down my nerves, I hold my head high and walk toward the benches where the girls are getting sorted.

Once I reach Mila and her mom, I drop to my haunches.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, my eyes bouncing between hers, searching for a lie.

It’s not just the professionals who will put on a brave face and try to cover up any pain.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? It’s okay to say if it hurts. I can get someone to check you over if you need?— ”

“I promise, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” I say, rising to my feet and focusing on her mom.

“She’s tough,” her mom muses as movement behind her catches my eye.

“She is. They all are. Any problems, though, you let us know.”

Mila’s mom agrees before she turns her attention to her daughter and begins to help her pack up her gear.

“Hey, Coach C,” a familiar voice says. “Great session today.”

I can’t help but smile. “Thanks, Sutton.”

“You know my dad, right?” she says, grabbing my hand before I have a chance to do anything and marching me over.

“U-uh…yeah, we’ve…met.” The final word comes out as a whisper as Kodie’s angry eyes lock on mine.

“He’s taught me everything I know,” Sutton announces proudly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t say that in front of one of your coaches, sweetie,” Kodie’s mom offers, cringing.

“Ah, it’s okay…”

“Kathleen,” she finishes for me.

“We should really get going,” Kodie suddenly says.

“Daddy, Coach C used to play as well, didn’t you?” She looks up at me with the widest, most innocent of eyes.

“Um…yeah, I did,” I confess awkwardly. “My daddy taught me everything I know, too.”

Kodie makes a scoffing noise, and my eyes shoot to his. “I very much doubt that’s true,” he seethes.

My chin drops, shock rendering me useless.

“Kodie,” Kathleen snaps in shock while Sutton looks between me and Kodie with wide eyes.

“We need to go,” he states before spinning around, swiping her gear bag from the floor, and stalking toward the exit.

“I’m so sorry,” Kathleen breathes. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“Daddy can be grumpy when he’s had a long day,” Sutton adds, desperately trying to defend him.

“It’s fine. I know how hard your daddy and the team work. Go and be nice to him, okay?”

If it’s possible, her smile grows wider.

“You’ve got it, Coach. See you Sunday.”

“Not if I see you first,” I tease before walking away, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest.

“Everything okay?” Megan asks as I join her in sorting out equipment ready for the under tens.

“Yeah, everything’s great,” I lie.

“ C asey, for fuck’s sake,” Parker complains. “Didn’t I warn you that something like this would happen?”

“Yes,” I sigh, flopping back on my couch and holding my cell above my face so I can still see her on the call.

“See, if you’d have just told him...”

“I know,” I snap. “I fucking know. I just…I didn’t want to lose him earlier than necessary.”

Parker sighs, her expression softening.

“I know, babe. But you should have told him when you first got the job.”

“What do I do now?”

It’s been hours since he walked away from me. I worked with Megan and Jamie with the under tens, and then Megan and I chatted about applying for my coaching certification for just over an hour. But despite the time that has passed, I haven’t heard a single thing from Kodie.

I think the radio silence might be worse than anything else.

At least if he were shouting at me, I’d know how he felt.

“Has he said anything?”

“Nope.”

“Then you need to make the first move.” I know that. I do. I just…don’t want to.

I’ve always had this deep-rooted fear of upsetting my dad. He was always away so much that when he was at home, the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint him. That familiar feeling is taking up room right now.

I’ve disappointed Kodie, and I hate myself for it.

It’s all my own fault. I could have prevented it. But I was scared.

I was terrified that if I told him, it would be just another reason why we couldn’t be together. Another reason to end this sooner.

Then, we wouldn’t have had yesterday, and that would have been a travesty.

Yesterday was everything to me. Everything.

“What if it’s over?” I whisper, voicing my greatest fear.

“What if it’s not?” Parker counters. “Only one way to find out.”

We end the call, but before I pluck up the courage to reach out to Kodie, I roll off the couch and pad toward the bathroom.

I’m running numerous options through my head as I pee, none of which give me any hope.

I lied to him. He has every right to back away now.

My cell dings as I make my way back through my apartment, and my heart jumps into my throat.

Maybe it’s all okay and I’m overreacting. Maybe he was just busy with Sutton and waiting until she’s in bed.

Maybe I’m just lying to myself.

When I get to my phone and the message lights up, my heart sinks.

Dad: Ten minutes out with takeout. Get ready.

“Shit,” I hiss, guilt twisting me up inside that I forgot.

Casey: I’ll be ready.

D espite forgetting that I agreed to have dinner with Dad, we have a lovely night together catching up. However, I never lose the elephant in the room, which is the huge secret I’m keeping from him.

He tells me about their two weeks away, filling me in on the stupid things the guys did to the rookie, and the events and charity opportunities that Hailee dragged him to.

He also excitedly tells me about how he returned home to a freezer full of premade meals that Freya made for him, which allows a little more guilt to trickle in.

And I explain about my coaching and the girls I’m working with.

It’s a nice evening, but at no point do I forget what happened this afternoon, and at no point does my cell ding to announce an incoming message.

The thought of my time with Kodie being over brings a lump to my throat.

“Are you okay, Care Bear?” Dad asks as I stop at my door to see him off.

His eyes bounce between mine, and my stomach sinks.

What can he see?

“Yeah, of course. I’m just so glad you have you back again.” It’s not a lie; I miss him now when he’s away just like when I was a kid.

“Aw, I’m glad to be back too. It’ll be good to play on our own ice again.”

“I can’t wait.”

“You’ll be there Saturday?”

“Absolutely.”

“Breakfast before I go in?”

“You got it.”

He gives me one final hug before we part and he disappears down the hallway, leaving me standing there with tears filling my eyes.

The truth is, I’m not okay. Not even close.

Locking my door, I head back into my apartment to tidy up and send the message I’ve been putting off.

But as I step into the kitchen, my cell vibrates across the counter, and the message I’ve been both hoping for and dreading is there.

55: One new message.

My heart is in my throat as I stare at the screen, praying this isn’t going to be as bad as I fear.

Eventually, I manage to convince myself to swipe and discover the truth.

55: This has been fun, but I think this is also where it needs to stop.