Page 31 of Breaking the Ice

He didn’t know if he had it in him again.

He sent,You up still?before he could change his mind.

A second later, to Gavin’s surprise, Zach called.

“Yeah?” he answered. He’d thought Zach would be down with the texting, so the phone call was unexpected.

“Hey, sorry.”Zach’s voice was quiet. Intimate. And this was why Gavin had texted, not called. Because it was impossible to forget who he was talking to, when he could hear his voice.

“It’s alright,” Gavin said. He probably sounded just as hushed.

Maybe even exactly as he’d soundedthatnight.

“I realized I didn’t grab my glasses from the bathroom when I took my contacts out,” Zach said apologetically. “It’s hard for me to see my phone to text without them.”

“Oh, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize,” Zach interrupted gently. “It’s alright. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It was . . .it was a long day.”

“Then why can’t I sleep?” Gavin questioned.

It wasn’t Zach’s job to lull him into complacency, into sleep. But suddenly, inexplicably, he wished it was.

“Ah, that’s it, then?”

“The noises, and the lights, and just . . .ugh,” Gavin said, aware of just how whiny he sounded.

“You could’ve stayed out of town, a bit.”

Yeah, he could’ve. But he hadn’t been sure, even though he’d signed the contract for three years, if this would work out, and he hadn’t wanted to buy again. The small bungalow rental right down the street from the rink had seemed a better choice, at least in the short term.

“Didn’t seem like the right choice, when I’m trying . . .” Gavin swallowed the rest of the sentence.When I’m trying to rejoin the land of the living.

Because in some ways Zach had been right; hehadbeen rotting out there.

He knew that was true, but part of him shrank back from admitting it out loud. From admitting toZach.

“To actually exist in civilization?” Zach’s tone had morphed from concerned to quietly teasing.

“Right.” Gavin told himself he’d started this conversation, he could actually say what was really on his mind. Well, most of it, anyway. “I just want this whole circus to stop so we can actually start working on the team.”

“I want that too,” Zach said earnestly.

“Sidney’s just . . .enthusiastic.” Gavin said it as diplomatically as he could.

Would he have changed his mind if he’d known how much insanity he was inviting into his life? No, probably not. But he might’ve put his foot down more, and much, much earlier.

At dinner, Sidney had pointed out that his office had scheduled several more podcasts for Gavin to go onto, and he’d finally had to sayno, that was not going to be happening.

“I’m here to coach your hockey team, not to single-handedly publicize it,” Gavin had said.

“It’s just such a great story,” Sidney had wheedled.

And it was. Right now anyway. How good of a story would it be six months from now, when the Evergreens couldn’t win any games because he was too busy recording podcasts and circle-jerking the hockey community?

“That isn’t how I’d put it,” Zach said bluntly.

“Hopefully what I said at dinner will solve that problem,” Gavin said. He wished he was more confident that was true.