Page 46

chapter thirty-four

Graham

“ I t’s just a bunch of fucking ads.”

Xander didn’t hide his disgust when we reached Times Square. He’d been brooding ever since he had the conversation with Jill in the hotel lobby, and I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t have a pretty good idea what it was about. The bracelet at her birthday party told me enough.

He regretted losing her.

Because of course he did.

Losing Jill would devastate anyone.

With my hands in my back pockets, I watched her spin a small circle on the sidewalk, taking it all in with wide eyes and her mouth fully agape.

There were a million things to look at—the flashing screens overhead, the throngs of people moving around us, and a person in an Elmo costume who kept circling our group, becoming increasingly impossible to ignore.

But the only thing I wanted to look at was Jillian. Because nothing in Times Square—not the flashy billboards, the neon lights, or the passing cars—could outshine her. I was entranced.

On my right, Xander broke the spell with a heavy sigh. “Wonder how many trees you’d have to plant each year to offset the carbon footprint of this neon shrine to late-stage capitalism.”

I held my breath for a moment, reflecting on how just one hour ago, I’d told my friend Chris at the IndyStar that yes, Xander would be the perfect candidate for their regional reporter position.

He said he’d been following Xander’s work for years, and I’d sat there and agreed with every damn complimentary word.

I had half a mind to call Chris and tell him I rescinded my recommendation.

“Can’t you shut off your pessimism for one night?” I asked him, and he looked at me like he wanted to kill me.

We sized each other up for a moment before he shook his head, taking a step back. “I’m done. Peace out. See you all in the morning,” he said, breaking away from our group.

Good.

Meghan and Chase had their heads together with Google Maps open on one of their phones, jabbering about something they wanted to see that was only a couple blocks away. Chase, who was wearing a GoPro around his neck, looked at Meghan and said, “They won’t want to do any of that.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Go to the library from the first Ghostbusters movie and take some videos on the steps.”

“Yeah, no,” I said, watching Jill, whose eyes were filling up with tears. The sight of her like that, here of all places, tugged at my heart and made my throat scratchy. I turned back to Chase. “You guys should go, though. I’m sure we could find something to do.”

I tilted my head toward Jill, who turned to Meghan with a nod. “Yeah. You guys go do your nerd thing,” she said.

“Are you sure?” Meghan looked in her eyes. “You okay?”

“Just soaking it in,” Jill answered, her voice a little shaky. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Meghan gave her one last look, then slipped her phone into her purse. Chase adjusted his GoPro, took her by the hand, and after a quick goodbye, they were off.

Jillian and I stood in silence for a minute, scooting closer together to let a noisy tour group pass by. She stared at the perfume billboard for a moment longer before finally looking up at me, the tears in her eyes shining under the glow of the lights.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about right now,” I said, reaching forward to run my hand down her bare arm.

“You,” she answered without a beat.

That’s what I was afraid of. She shouldn’t be thinking about me.

Not now. Not standing in the middle of this bustling intersection, hundreds of miles from home.

If I hadn’t come into her life and disrupted it, she would’ve been happily skipping off with Meghan and Chase right now.

Hell, she might have even had a fun night with Xander, who was much closer to her age and mostly unproblematic.

He made sense. I didn’t.

And God knew what awaited us back in Woodvale. All day, I kept an eye on my phone, waiting for some sign of the breaking news. A text, an email, a post in the Concerned Citizens of Woodvale group. It was only a matter of time.

Whatever happened, I knew I could handle it.

But I wasn’t sure I could stomach what people would inevitably say about her. I knew how these things usually played out. Anytime there was a scandal, people blamed the woman, pointing fingers and pulling out the worst names in the book.

Once this got out, she was going to read some of the most cruel, thoughtless things about herself online.

And the internet doesn’t forget.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice low. “For all of this.”

She blinked like she didn’t hear me at first. “All of what?”

“For dragging you into something that’s going to hurt.” I looked down, shaking my head at her. “You deserve better than me.”

“That’s nonsense.” She stepped closer, pressing her body into mine and touching my face with both of her hands. I looked at her with a lopsided smile while she traced my stubble with her thumbs. “They don’t make ‘em any better than you.”

Goddamn it, that accent.

Without hesitation, I scooped her up into my arms and kissed her right there on the pavement surrounded by the hum of the city and a hundred strangers who didn’t know our names.

She melted into me instantly, wrapping her arms around my neck and smiling against my lips before kissing me back.

We took our time with this kiss, stretching it out for as long as we could.

What I couldn’t say with words, I said with my tongue, circling hers as my hands cradled her butt to hold her up.

Jill pulled back, pressing her forehead against mine. “Maybe this is stupid, but I’d rather be alone with you in the hotel right now than see any of this.”

“Okay,” I said, lowering her to the ground. “But are you hungry?”

“Let’s get room service. After.”

“Room service? We probably shouldn’t put that on the comp—” I stopped and smiled, not wanting to argue with her. “What the hell, why not?”

I took her by the hand, pulling her through the crowd in the direction of our hotel. This woman could talk me into anything with a single look.

We didn’t walk in a straight line. We stopped twice, or maybe three times, to kiss and explore each other’s bodies with our wandering hands.

At one point, I had her pressed up against a metal shutter door on West 47th, her fingers tangled up in my hair while people moved around us like we didn’t exist.

We kissed the entire way up the elevator, only stopping in the hallway because we weren’t sure where Xander might be lurking.

We both kicked off our shoes when we stepped inside the room, and she paused a few feet inside, taking in the view of the skyline. “This doesn’t feel real.”

“I know,” I said, walking over to the window.

She followed me, standing just close enough that our arms brushed. I felt her pause there beside me–not moving, not speaking–and I wondered if her mind had drifted back to Woodvale like mine had.

As much as I tried not to think about it, it was right there.

“Let’s both get jobs in the city,” she said, turning to me and placing her hands against my chest. “And never go back.”

I wrapped my arms around her body, sliding my hands down her backside. “Sounds like a plan.” She scrunched up her nose and leaned in, but before she could kiss me, I tugged away. “Do you remember the fire at the old movie theater?”

Jill blinked, a little thrown. “Well yes, but that was years ago.” She let out a soft laugh. “What in God’s name made you think of that?”

“I just remember…” I glanced up at the ceiling before finding her eyes again.

“I was standing there patiently waiting for a comment from the fire chief. And here comes this young, blonde reporter I’d never seen in my life just shoving her microphone at Chief Ruger’s face like she’d been doing this job for twenty years. ”

She laughed, covering her eyes with one hand. “I remember that,” she said. And then she lowered her hand back to my chest, looking me in the eyes again. “And then you came up to me and introduced yourself.”

“Had to,” I said, holding her tight. “I was impressed.”

“You were all business, though. Why didn’t you flirt with me?”

I sucked on my bottom lip, releasing it with a pop. “Well, let’s think back to how old we both were five years ago, and…”

She threw her head back and laughed, and I used the momentum to sweep an arm around her waist and dip her backward for a kiss.

She lifted one leg, pinning her knee against my hip.

I tucked one hand under her thigh, sliding my hands underneath the hem of her shorts to grip her ass.

She was smiling so hard now, I knew she wasn’t thinking about our predicament anymore.

And I would make damn sure she didn’t think about it again for the rest of the night.

I pulled her body upright. “Are you in any pain tonight?”

“No.” She swallowed.

“Yes, you are.” I could always tell. Didn’t she know that?

Jillian licked her lips, her hands still clinging to my neck. “I’m okay, Graham. I’ll be even better if you can do something to distract me from the very minimal, almost non-existent pain.”

“We could just lie down and—”

“No. I want you to fuck me in front of the New York City skyline,” she declared. And then she must have remembered her submissive role in our dynamic, because her smile softened and she quietly said, “Please.”

I touched her jaw, running my thumb along her bottom lip. Gently, I stuck my thumb in her mouth between her teeth, and her lips closed around it. With her eyes locked on mine, I nearly dropped to my knees right then and there.

Jillian pulled her mouth off my thumb with a soft pop , never taking her eyes from mine. “Do you want me on my knees?”