Page 32

James has never made an actual move before, aside from today or that night in August when we were both a million sheets to the wind. And he doesn’t even remember that.

I glance over to them through the glass doors and just blink.

Is this something James would actually pursue?

He just got out of an insane relationship.

He even said before we fucked that we would just help each other out, basically until I had the babies.

What the hell changed in just a handful of hours?

What he said was true, I’m probably going to write off all men, aside from him apparently. When his body touches mine, I feel like every nerve ending is exploding. Like I’m burning from the inside out.

It’s always been him, but he’s never seen me in that way, right? So why is he being so attached and growly today? Why is he making a point to Landon and Nolan that he wants me? Does he just not want to share my body with anyone else during this fling? Is that all this is to him?

Shit, I’m not sure if I can handle losing him all over again.

Sure, he’s sleeping on my couch and fucked me within an inch of my life today.

He mentioned that he’s been reading baby books, reading up on pregnancy and somehow read an article on sex…

But is that enough for him to know he truly wants to be with me?

Alex has probably fucked him up for life, and not in a good way. When he finds out the truth… that’ll destroy anything he’s ever felt for me. I just know it. I can’t get my hopes up.

I can’t lose him, but I also can’t lead him on. If these babies come out looking anything like him, Alyssa, or Caroline, he’s going to figure it out eventually. He’s not a stupid man.

I shake my hands out before I shove more food in my mouth, slowly chewing as I mull this all over.

My phone starts to vibrate beside me on the couch. Another unknown number. Shocker. I sigh as I answer it, but as well see what the hell they want before I change my number again.

“Hello?”

“May I speak to Ms. Marie Edwards?”

I clear my throat and frown. “This is her.”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Edwards. My name is Lauren Garcia from the Montgomery-Carver Group. We represent the trust that was put in place by your grandfather, Bernard Edwards.”

“Yes…”

“Right… Well we’ve been trying to get in touch with you, Ms. Edwards, for quite a while.

We’ve received the death certificates of Mr. Rolland Edwards and Mrs. Melissa Vance-Edwards.

The Will states that the trust entirely goes to Ms. Marie Edwards on her thirtieth birthday, or, after she’s the sole living relative of the estate.

Ma’am. I’m sorry for your loss, but we have a lot of paperwork to complete.

I can travel to you, wherever you are. We received these certificates a year ago and your parents have been gone for a few years now. ..”

I’m blinking at the wall and not sure what to even… what? How did I not know that my parents were dead? “I’m sorry, this is a lot. Can you come to Minnesota?”

“Yes ma’am. I suggest hiring your own lawyer to sit with us during a meeting. Technically we’re the estate’s lawyers, but I wouldn’t mind also representing you if need be.”

I shrug, as if she can see me. “Ah okay… When can you get here? I’m pregnant and still working quite a bit. I also take care of two teenagers.”

She chuckles, “Not to worry, Ms. Edwards. I can fly out as early as tomorrow.” I riddle off my address and make sure to add her personal phone number. I drop my phone onto my lap and let the tears fall.

Wow. I just. Wow.

I knew my parents wouldn’t live for much longer after we left, not with cocaine and alcohol, or whatever shit they’ve been getting into over the years…

I haven’t seen them in almost ten years, and now?

Never again. Never will they promise to get clean or stop drinking.

It was all lies so that I would give them money to support their habits, wasn’t it?

I stopped doing any of that when we left California. One, I didn’t really have any money to give, and two, what was the point?

I couldn’t in good conscience let them kill themselves with the money I handed them. It never went to bills like they promised. I don’t think they ever hugged, kissed, or loved me, so why am I sad?

They’ll never meet their grandchildren. I’ll never hear their croaky, thin and weedy voices ever again.

James steps into the house, followed by Landon and Nolan. They all hear my sniffling and find that I’m crying. James shoves the platter full of steamy food to Nolan and rushes towards me.

“What’s wrong?” He places his palms on my face, pressing his forehead on mine as he drops to his knees before me.

“My parents… they’ve been dead for a few years, I guess. That was the lawyer's office that just called. My trust technically kicked in the day of their deaths. She’s flying out here tomorrow… I need a lawyer… probably an investment firm and financial advisors and a new bank… oh my hell.”

He sighs and pulls me into his arms. “I’ll take care of everything.

You sit down, drink some water and eat. I’ll go grab the girls and have them choose a movie.

You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll call all of my people and have them meet at the same time the lawyer flies in. I’ll handle everything, okay?”

The rest of the night is more like a haze. I hear the girls talking and eating, the guys murmuring about their upcoming games and how much of an asshole their coach is lately. Apparently he just needs to get laid.

Some drama with Daniel and his daughter, Charlie. Apparently she wants to travel and not shadow him around the arena anymore. That’s not a shock. She doesn’t want to take over the team or the arena.

Something about Bianca and Logan, Morgan and his wife finally filing for a divorce, him demanding full custody of their three kids.

I feel like I’m underwater. I feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Everyone else is going through shit, too, but why does it feel so fucking insane right now? It’s one thing after another.

I hear the movies playing on the TV… But nothing is sticking.

I feel like I blink and it’s dark.

“Hey, come on. Let me help you get into bed.”

I frown over to James and glance around the empty room. “Where did everyone go?”

He chuckles softly and leads me down the hall to my bedroom. “The girls already went to bed, something about midterms. I kicked Nolan and Landon out about an hour ago. I wanted to finish the movie and I wanted you to sort your thoughts a little more before trying to sleep. Are you okay?”

I shrug and sit on the edge of my bed, staring down at my belly and rubbing it with my hands.

“I… guess? I knew that I would come into the money eventually. It just seems so sudden. It never felt real until I heard the words pass through my phone from the lawyer. I’m so used to saving money and worrying that everything would be gone the next day.

I’ll never get used to having a full bank account.

“We had nothing, James. Nothing. We used to beg at the churches for diapers and formula for the twins.

Begging neighbors to clean their houses for some cash so that we could fill our own bellies.

I sometimes still feel like I live that life.

Sometimes I wake up in a panic worried about whether I'm able to shower or eat anything for the day.”

He sighs and kneels down in front of me, his palms warming my thighs.

“I know… it took me years to really understand how blessed we are now. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be in the NHL today, Marie.

I probably wouldn’t have custody of the girls, they would be in foster care and I would be working at the rink in California in between bottles of cheap vodka.

You are the reason we have such an easy life now.

Those babies are lucky to have you as a mom. ”

I wince and look away. I need to tell him, don’t I? Before it’s too late. But how? I already feel like I’m drowning, might as well get it all out so that I can heal… Right? Shit.

Today is a shit storm. But in good conscience I can’t hide this from him. I just can’t. I’m too raw. This is all too much. Tears slide down my face faster and faster and I hiccup and try to hold back sobs.

I take a deep breath and stare into his light eyes. He looks so concerned, holding my face in his hands. “How long have you wanted me?”

He furrows his brows and rests back on his heels. “What do you mean?”

I huff and cross my arms over my chest, sniffling and trying to catch my breath. “You heard me.”

He sighs and runs his fingers through his blonde hair, closing his eyes.

“For as long as I can remember, M. You used to drive me crazy when we were thirteen and fourteen… I got it into my head that I wasn’t good enough for you.

You were always so mature, so beautiful.

So I backed off and we just stayed friends.

Then we moved here, I was so busy with school and hockey.

You were busy with the girls, then community college, and working a part-time job at the local grocery store.

“Then time just… slipped away. The years passed and I traveled so damn much, you became a PA and we were like strangers in the night. I’ve always dreamed about you, wanting you against me. Touching and kissing your body. Those dreams were vivid as fuck, Marie… Sometimes I swore I could smell you.

“I have always loved you but you deserve someone far better than me. Someone who wants to be a father and that’s a good man.”

I lick my lips and blow out a slow breath… “And what if one of those dreams were actually real?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, frowning at me. “I would know.”

I press my lips together and look away. He grips my chin in his firm fingers and slowly moves my gaze back to his. “What are you saying?” He demands and zeroes in on me, looking all over my face. Searching for the answers.

My face crumples and the tears pour from my eyes again, the warm liquid dripping onto my chest. “The night of Logan’s engagement party…

In August. We both drank too much. The girls were already asleep in the suite I was sharing with them at the hotel.

You and I went back down to the bar, laughing, telling each other stories.

You asked me when the last time I had sex was.

Then you tried to laugh it off. But then you asked me about the best sex of my life and I told you it was the night that Landon and I fucked in the locker room right before the rest of the team stumbled in from practice. ”

I clear my throat and close my eyes. “You looked so pissed. We took another shot of tequila and you dragged me to the elevators to head up to the rooms and you shoved me into the wall, pressing your body against mine and telling me to never speak of my sex life again. That you couldn’t handle it.

The doors opened and you stormed down the hall to your own room, and I stumbled to mine.

Right as I opened up my door, you dragged me back down the hall and carried me to your room…

I don’t think we slept a wink that night. ”

I blink open my eyes and he shakes his head, his mouth still gaping at me. “No.”

I nod and chew on my bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth.

The soft, dry skin sticks to my tongue. “In the shower, against the glass windows overlooking the gardens… On the dresser, against the walls. I don’t think we even made it to the bed.

I woke up on the couch, laying on top of you and then raced out of the room to check on the girls.

Of course they were still sleeping. I showered and then we never spoke about it again.

I just assumed you thought you made a mistake.

It took me a while to figure out you didn’t remember at all. ”

His face drains of color and collapses down onto his ass, his arms lay limply over his knees and he stares at my belly.

“Marie… When were those babies conceived?”

I sob and cover my mouth with the palm of my hand. “That night.”

His face shutters and he coughs, choking on air. He covers his face with his hands and stands up, pacing the room. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

I send him a look and shake my head, trying to calm my breathing down.

“Fuck no. Why do you think I moved out? I was going to talk to you then you brought Alex into the clinic and got STD tested, announced you’re moving her in, and that she’s your amazing, perfect, perky new girlfriend.

That’s when I knew that either you would never love me, or you legitimately didn’t remember our night together.

So, I said fuck it. The girls found out I was pregnant and they refused to be anywhere around Alex…

You were changing, James. And not for the better. ”

I blow out a slow breath and lean back on my hands.

“We grew up together, J. I knew you never wanted kids. I knew how careful you always were. I’ve always taken the pill, always at the same time of day, on the hour.

I have no idea if we used condoms or not during the several rounds we went at it, and I thought nothing of it until I missed my period.

I just assumed it was stress… Then I started getting sick, my legs were swelling and going numb.

I took a test and it was positive… I swear on my life, James.

I would never do this to you on purpose.

Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I ever wanted kids either after what we endured.

Thank fuck the girls don’t remember much. ”

He’s still staring blankly at me, blinking at my belly as if it’s going to disappear the harder he stares at it.

“The babies are going to have my last name. I’m not putting anyone on the birth certificate, you will have no legal ties to them, I swear, James. Leave it all to me. I have enough help and support. I have enough money now once that lawyer shows up tomorrow.”

He glances up in my eyes and I flinch with the glare he sends me. “I’ll be back… later.” He stumbles, stomping out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind him, and probably out of my life forever.

I just didn’t expect I’d fall so far again for him and he for me, at least I’m assuming it wasn’t just horniness.

How did this fucking happen?