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Is the father on my team? Someone from the clinic?
No, Marie wouldn’t sleep with one of her clients.
“Ah. Well, after you’re rested up some more, can we talk?”
Marie nods and sips from her water. “Sure. Maybe after dinner? I’m exhausted and just want to sit for now.”
We all move our gazes to the TV in silence and Nolan ends up leaving after Landon calls, giving everyone hugs goodbye. Landon picked him up without coming into the house, probably because I’m here.
They really are going to go shopping for Marie, for her babies.
Without me.
I’m not involved in any of this, in any of their lives apparently. Was my entire team in on this? Everyone knew except for me?
Landon and Nolan have hidden all of this from me. My team is coming to her party to learn the genders of the babies, and I didn’t know any of it. I feel like a parrot, a broken record.
My brain doesn’t understand, I don’t understand.
I gaze at the TV blankly, not even registering what’s on. Eventually Brenton calls out that the food is ready and I follow the pack to the table.
We all sit around and eat in moderate silence.
I’m sitting in between my sisters, who have finally sent me small smiles.
Mr. and Mrs. Evans keep up the conversation, talking to the girls about what they want to do after they graduate, which is still well over a year away.
I check out of the conversation and focus on my plate.
One of Marie’s famous casseroles. It’s just as delicious as I remember. Shredded chicken, cheese, and plenty of vegetables. It’s even her homemade gravy recipe that’s been slathered on top.
Home. It tastes like home.
After we’re finished, Brenton and I clean up and wash the dishes. He glances over to me a few times but stays quiet. I imagine he has a lot he wants to say but doesn’t want to cause a scene. I have no qualms about that.
After I finish wiping the counters I clear my throat. “So… Are you and Marie…”
He snorts and shakes his head vehemently. “No… just good friends. One, she’s my patient. Two, my parents love her like a daughter, so that would be a little… awkward. Three, not my… type, if you catch my drift.” He shoots a brow at me and my heart drops to a steadier rhythm.
I tilt my head. “Ah. Okay… sorry?”
He shrugs and washes his hands in the sink. “Don’t worry about it. If I swung that way I would have worshipped that woman, she’s pretty perfect.” He winks at me and leaves me alone in the kitchen, stewing in my thoughts.
Yeah, she is perfect. I soak up her lavender scent as I lean against the island and stare at the photos that are on the fridge. There are a few of me scattered about throughout the years, but they’re mostly the girls and Marie. Laughing, happy.
There are ultrasounds, a bunch of Nolan and Landon, hell there are even some of Logan.
I noticed that Alex removed all of the photos from the walls and told me to put them in my office. She claimed it was because she’s a minimalist but then the next day she put up photos of herself. There’s one of me mixed in there that she kept. But none of the girls or Marie.
Fuck, I’ve been so blind… I didn’t even think about how hurtful that must have been to the girls.
What about Nolan and Landon though? She seems too happy to be single. Who’s the father? I’m driving myself crazy. My thoughts are bouncing all over the place.
I find Marie sitting alone in the backyard with a book on her lap and a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her. I meet her out there and sit beside her, staring around the green yard.
This is the yard that I saw photographed on Nolan’s Facebook. It’s definitely large enough for a family. Babies.
“So how did you finally figure it out?”
I chuckle and glance over at her. Her brown eyes gazing sadly back at me. “I saw a photo on Nolan’s Facebook page…”
She groans and shakes her head. “Can’t live with him, can’t live without him, the jackass. Oh well... I’m sure a lot more photos would have gone up after this weekend.” She sighs and leans back into the seat. “So…”
I lick my lips. “I’m sorry if you ever thought I would have tossed you out or treated you poorly if you got pregnant while we lived together.
I don’t give a shit about other people’s babies, I mean, I love babies, I love children.
I just will never share my DNA. But I love you, Marie, you’re my best friend.
I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.
I just. I’m sorry you ever felt like you needed to leave. Is the… Is the father in the picture?”
She chuckles and shakes her head, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. I move to get up to hug her and she holds a hand up, stopping me in my tracks.
Right. No touching.
“No. No ‘baby daddy’… It was just a lot of shit, James. Then Alex… I just… The girls and I don’t deserve that sort of treatment, and it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.
I feel like a broken record every time I talk to you.
She wouldn’t be living with you if I was still there…
add the girls and twin newborns on top of it?
” She snorts and sends me a look, “You deserve happiness, even if you chose the wrong woman. She’s not good for you, J, definitely not good for the girls, but you have to learn that all on your own. ”
I frown at her and stare out at the darkening sky.
I already know that, I’m seeing it more clearly now…
But I don’t know what to do. She’s already moved in.
She’s coming to the wedding with me and everything’s already paid for.
I just need to talk to her, see if there’s a way for her to get along with Marie and to be kinder to the girls.
At least until I figure more things out.
The yard is surrounded by tall, old trees and green grass. There are plenty of flower beds scattered around, too. It’s calming, perfect.
The jacuzzi is lit up a few feet away and I have half a mind to jump into it. “We have our disagreements just like any other couple… it’ll work out.” At least that’s what I’m telling myself right now. I have to break up with her eventually. No question about it.
She shrugs and stares down at her lap, closing the book she was reading.
“Well, you better get back to her, and I know that Nolan already told you my rules about you showing up here. If she ever shows up at my door, I will probably burn down your house. I’ll slash your tires, too.
Or key the truck… I don’t want anything to do with her and neither do the girls.
This is our safe space and I don’t need any psycho… ”
I lift my hands up in surrender and nod, cutting her off. She huffs and glances away from me. “Can I come by for the party? Alone? Do you have a registry for the babies?”
She sighs, pursing her lips. “No, I just wanted people to have a good time and celebrate with me. I’ll start ordering everything next week. I have some money saved up and still have your black card that Caroline put back in my wallet.” She smirks at me and I nod immediately.
“Please. Use that card for everything you need… I want to be there for you, Marie, especially if the dad isn’t in the picture. If you want to move back in, you’re welcome to. I know you have the girls and… friends. But please, anything you need.”
She sends me a look and shakes her head.
“I was joking, James. And no thanks. There’s no way your girlfriend would allow that.
And if you want a real shot with her, then you have to follow her rules and wants.
I still can’t believe she wants to upgrade into a larger house and shove the girls into a guest house.
” She frowns at me and my heart feels like it’s being cut into pieces.
I sigh and rub my hands down my face. “I was so embarrassed when she said that… she said it doesn’t matter anyway since we’re alone in the house now, but I hate it.
I hate the house without you or the girls there…
I’m close to just selling the place and downgrading now instead of waiting for the girls to graduate in a year and a half. ”
Marie shakes her head, “That’ll just piss her off, you know. She wants something large and ostentatious. Is it true that she doesn’t allow your friends over and you haven’t had a night out with them, with her tagging along to meet everyone?”
I nod, glancing down at my lap. “Yeah, she’s enjoying just spending time together, me and her, you know? She’s lived in LA all of her life and is enjoying the downtime here in Minnesota, I guess. She’s coming to Logan’s wedding though.”
She cocks a brow at me. “The girls and I will be there. How did you get her to want to actually go?”
I press my lips together and shrug, shoving my hands through my too-long hair. “I might have told her it’s a small, private event and Logan was the only teammate attending, that he didn’t want a rambunctious crowd.”
She chokes on her spit and covers her mouth. “Oh fuck, and then add the girls and I there… James, she better not cause a scene at Logan’s wedding. He and Bianca don’t deserve that shit, not after everything they’ve been through. ”
I wave my hand around, feigning nonchalance. “She won’t. She’s pretty quiet…” I frown and shake my head.
I already sent in my RSVP, so I’ll just have to suck it up and break up with her after the wedding. It’s not too far off. I’ll just spend time here and start to distance myself, make a cleaner break.
I stand up and lean down to envelop Marie in my arms. At least she still smells the same, like sunshine and lavender. Like love, home, and comfort.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I want to come. Are you sure there’s nothing I can get for the babies?”
She shakes her head and leans back, blinking up at me silently for a few moments. “I’m good, I promise. I might just hand the girls your credit card and tell them to go crazy on Sunday and let them get it out of their systems at all of the baby stores.” She smirks at me and rolls her eyes.
I laugh and nod. “They’ll love that.” I back away and sigh. “I miss you, M.” I turn away and leave, entering the house to hug my sisters, telling them I’ll see them tomorrow and they just shrug and roll their eyes.
It’s going to be hard to get them happy with me again.
I just hope I can do it sooner… rather than later.