Page 6

Story: #Bossholes

Chapter Six

Wyatt

Can you tell me again why we brought a perfectly adequate legal secretary up from the nineteenth floor instead of bringing in another temp? There’s a reason we don’t poach our own staff.

Maverick

Thought we could try something new and different.

Brantley

I don’t like new.

Or different.

I’m still not on board. We’re going to end up with no employees.

Wyatt

Let’s all be surprised that you don’t like something.

Brantley

Yeah, well, Zach seems pissed. Apparently, he has a big meeting today and no one to take notes. He was waiting in my office when I got here. It was an ambush.

I don’t like to be ambushed.

Wyatt

Maverick

Last time I looked, neither of his hands were broken. I’m pretty sure he can still take notes.

Wyatt

Why this one? Did you two have a moment around the slurpee machine at 7-Eleven.

Maverick

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s too cold for slurpees.

I met her downstairs in the lunchroom. She was hoarding the chocolate chunk cookies.

Brantley

She’s going to smell like sugar and sunshine.

Wyatt

Let me guess, dear brother, you hate those too.

Brantley

Yeah, well…fuck off.

Do I need to remind you about the non-fraternization clause the firm has?

Wyatt

We don’t have one.

Brantley

Maybe we should.

Maverick

I don’t want to fuck her. Jesus. I just thought she might be a good fit for the three of us. You know, maybe find someone who can last longer than four fucking days with the two of you.

Brantley

You’re no walk in the park yourself.

Wyatt

What are you talking about? I’m a delight.

Maverick

I have a feeling about this one.

Wyatt

The last time he had a feeling about someone, it was the guy who tried to hustle us at poker. We had a few drinks and woke up in some dirty back alley behind a bar with a rooster on it.

Brantley

With no phones or wallets. You can’t forget that.

Because we were robbed.

Maverick

Thank you, Captain Obvious. It’s not like that.

Brantley

It’ll probably be worse. And we’ll still have to fire her. Correction—Maverick will have to fire her.

Wyatt

Nah, she’ll probably quit long before that.