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Chapter Forty-Four

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Noise Complaint

I’ve gotten a request to fix the broken copy machine. Apparently, when Mr. Fitz was using the machine last Friday afternoon, it made a slamming sound and emitted a scream. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? I can’t exactly approve a work order for the fucking copier when it’s perfectly fine. Nor can I tell him the noises he heard was his boss railing his secretary on his desk. Any ideas?

Not sure why you’re not handling this as you caused the issue to begin with.

You’re a dick,

Maverick Wallace

Managing Partner, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Noise Complaint

Not sure what to tell you. Maybe the copy machine is possessed. How do we know the sounds he heard were me? There are several people on this floor.

You’re just jealous,

Brantley Ellis

Managing Partner, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: RE: Noise Complaint

Are you seriously insinuating someone else was up here having sex at the exact same time you were?

You’ve got to be kidding me,

Wyatt Ellis

Managing Partner, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Noise Complaint

Stranger things have happened.

Just saying,

Brantley Ellis

Managing Partner, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Noise Complaint

OMG. Are you saying everyone up here heard that? Are you kidding me? I have to quit. There’s no way I can show my face at another partner meeting. They’re all going to know what’s happening. Also, whoever left me the banana and the sticky note, thank you. And to answer your question, I do like them for the taste, not the shape. Sorry to disappoint.

So embarrassed,

Kinsley Rhodes

Legal Secretary, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP

To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Noise Complaint

He’s in my office and wants me to come check this thing out. He’s insisting there’s something wrong with it and I need to “hear” it for myself. One of you fucks better come out here and deal with this. (Not you, Kins, you’re perfect, even if you do eat bananas for the taste)

Send help,

Maverick Wallace

Managing Partner, Ellis, Ellis, and Wallace LLP