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Dakota had plenty to think about in the next few days.

Because of the team’s travel schedule, he barely had time to run home after the bombshell from Gavin, pack, then get to the airport.

Gavin hadn’t gone with them.

To Dakota’s surprise, he’d decided not to travel. Instead, he’d chosen to stay in Boston. He’d explained he needed to speak to his executive assistant and plan how to tell the ownership group about his decision.

His decision had been a little less dramatic than Dakota had initially thought. Gavin wasn’t quitting as the team’s general manager. What he was doing was stepping down from his position as interim president of hockey operations.

Apparently, sometimes they were a dual role held by one person, sometimes two people did those jobs. The structure of the head office of one team was never exactly like the others and much depended on how the ownership group felt about it.

Gavin had explained that in his case, they’d been wary about him taking over both roles, particularly because he was on the younger side compared to much of the leadership in the league and had so much less experience.

And the position had been on a trial basis.

Gavin had fought hard to do both—because of course he’d wanted the control—but apparently this health scare had been a serious wakeup call for him.

Dakota was a little surprised and a small cynical part of him questioned how long that would last, but Gavin choosing to stay home and begin the process was a sign that pointed to his commitment.

So, while the team traveled to Pennsylvania and Ohio for games, Dakota had taken some time to think about what he wanted. About what his future might look like.

And every time he thought about telling Gavin they should end what they were doing, he felt a little sick. Because he could lie to himself all he wanted, but in that moment where Gavin’s pulse had fluttered against his fingertips, he’d been scared .

He’d been scared of losing Gavin.

Every time he pictured one of the other guys in that position—Connor or Jesse or Graham or any of the other players he was fond of—it didn’t send a sharp stab of fear through his gut.

He would have been worried for them of course. He didn’t like seeing any of the guys out on injured reserve, and something as serious as heart trouble was much more concerning.

But the idea didn’t leave him with the tight feeling that appeared every time he imagined not seeing Gavin’s eyes light up or hearing him laugh or feeling the touch of his hands on his body, strong yet gentle.

Dakota had so much to risk here and he couldn’t make any decision without talking to Violet about it first, but if he was being honest with himself, he knew what he wanted. And it wasn’t to walk away from Gavin.

So as the plane approached Boston at the end of the road trip, he knew what he had to do.

“I need you to schedule a meeting with Ned and the rest of the ownership group,” Gavin said, pacing his office.

Amelia—his executive assistant—raised her eyebrows. “For what purpose?”

“To tell them I plan to step down as president of hockey ops.”

Amelia’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ of surprise. “Because of your recent health concerns?”

“Yes.”

Following Gavin’s talk with Dakota, he’d called Amelia, letting her know about the ER trip and his choice to stay in Boston, rather than travel with the team. She’d arranged it all, along with appointments for doctors’ visits and testing in the next few weeks.

He’d be lost without her.

“You’re really taking this seriously then,” she said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs.

“You expected me not to?”

She gave him a sheepish look. “I expected you’d talk big about needing to make changes, then go back to your usual workaholic ways in a few weeks.”

He shot her a rueful smile. “Fair enough.”

“I mean, we all do it, right?” she said with a soft laugh. “At the new year, we tell ourselves we’ll get up earlier to work out and meditate and we … we slip into old habits after a while.”

“We do,” Gavin said, because yes, he could be as guilty of that as anyone. “But this is important.”

“It is! I’m glad you’re doing it. Just because you can manage both roles doesn’t mean you should.”

“Someone should have told me that years ago,” he teased.

She gave him an unimpressed look. “Someone did. Several someones, in fact.”

“I should have listened to them.” He winked.

“Damn straight! And next time, maybe you’ll at least listen when I tell you something, hmm?”

“I’ll try.”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Mmm. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He stepped closer, leaning his hip against his desk. “So, can I tell you something else in confidence?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Of course. You know I’d never breathe a word of anything we discuss here.”

“I’m seeing someone.”

Her face lit up. “That’s fantastic, Gavin! I’m so glad. How’d you meet him?”

“Well, here …”

Her pleased expression drained away. “You’re not dating a player, are you?”

“What? No!” Gavin protested. “And I’m a little offended you think I would even consider it. That’s a huge conflict of interest. I hold their entire futures in my hand.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said, holding up a hand. “I should know you’d never abuse your power.”

He winced. “Well, maybe reserve judgment because the guy does work for the organization, and he is someone I had a part in hiring.”

“ That’s why you want to step down as president of hockey ops,” she said slowly.

“That and the fact I’m concerned I’ll work myself into an early grave.”

“Yeah, but let’s be honest, you’re way more likely to make a huge change for love than you are for your health,” she said in a philosophical tone.

“Thanks, Amelia,” he said drily.

She leveled him with a look. “Am I wrong?”

“No,” he admitted, sighing. “Though it’s a bit too early to call it love. Honestly, I’m not even sure he’s ready for us to move forward with a serious relationship. But I—this heart thing really did scare the ever-loving shit out of me.”

He’d seen his paternal grandfather after open-heart surgery, a shell of the man he’d once been. Weak. Frail. Unable to do the things he loved. No, Gavin didn’t want that for himself. There was only so much he could control when he had heart disease on both sides of the family, but he could at least work on everything else.

Amelia’s expression softened. “I get that.”

“And I want to make changes in my life. Top to bottom. And if stepping down from one of the roles I have will help me accomplish that, professionally and personally, then it’s the right choice.”

“Got it.” She jotted down something on a notepad. “I will arrange a meeting for you with the ownership group.”

“Thank you.”

She glanced up, her expression earnest. “For what it’s worth, I think this is a smart choice. I don’t want you to burn out or keel over dead.”

“You just don’t want to have to train someone new,” he teased. “We all know you’re the real power behind the throne here.”

She laughed and rose to her feet. “Something like that.”

“Sooo,” Violet said with an arch of her eyebrows as she settled next to Dakota on the sofa, glass of wine in hand. “Jeff said you asked him for some ‘sibling time’?”

“Yes.” Dakota clutched his mug of peppermint tea. “I did.”

“I have no objection to you asking my husband to take the kids out and keep them entertained for a few hours,” she said in a wry tone. “But I assume this has to do with you and Gavin?”

“Yes.” Dakota licked his lips.

She studied his face. “You haven’t ended things with him.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“And you slept at his place the other night.”

“Yes.”

“So, that’s it then? You’re going to risk it all for a hookup?”

“Well, not exactly,” Dakota answered.

He went on to tell his sister about Gavin’s heart issues—Gavin had given him free rein to talk about it with Violet and Jeff, just asked they be reminded of the need to keep it private—and by the time he was done, the worry on Violet’s face had nothing to do with the decisions Dakota had made.

The worry was for Gavin.

“Oh, I am so glad he’s okay,” she said, pressing a hand to her chest. “I’m glad it wound up being nothing too serious but that sounds so scary.”

“It was. For both of us.”

She nodded slowly. “This is more than casual then, yeah? More than we even talked about at the holiday skate?”

Dakota nodded. “Yeah. I—I’ve been fighting it, but the thought of ending things or of something happening to Gavin … I can’t, Vi. I …”

“Hey.” She reached out and took his hand. “I get it, okay? We don’t get a lot of say about who we fall for or when. And I want to apologize because I think I was kind of out of line at the skate. I—I got scared—for myself —and I lashed out at you.”

“You do have a lot to lose,” Dakota admitted. “We both do.”

“Sure, I do,” she agreed. “But Jeff called me out on it.”

“Yeah?” Dakota asked.

“Yeah.” She looked down at her glass. “He—you know I’m involved in the local queer community as a volunteer.”

Dakota nodded.

“I’m not … out to them.”

“Oh?” Dakota said, because he hadn’t really known that.

“Yeah. I mean, I always kind of couch it as ‘oh, my brother is gay, and I want to support the community’ but I’ve never really opened up about it being personal for me too. I’ve worked quietly in the background with several great organizations but I—I sometimes feel like I should be doing more.”

“I think we all feel like that sometimes.” Because hell, Dakota knew he could do more for the community, but he could never quite seem to find the time. “But you’re busy with your career and the kids and …”

She bit her lip. “It’s more than that though. The truth is, after—after what happened with Mom and Dad when I came out, I haven’t wanted to rock the boat. I’ve been scared to risk a job I love.”

“Sure, I get that,” he said softly. Because it had been hard. They’d been estranged for several years.

“But the truth is, things in this country are …” She grimaced. “They’re not great right now, you know? And I feel like I need to be doing more for kids in the community. For my own kids.”

“I get that too.”

“So, a part of me is resentful I even have to worry about this shit. I don’t want to be an activist, I never have. I want to live my life with my family and be left alone. But we know damn well it’s getting harder and harder to do.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dakota agreed.

“So, yeah, the thought of you dating Gavin and it all coming out, well, it terrifies me. I really put myself on the line to get you this job. I know the team culture has been good overall, but trusting their support extends to people like me …”

Dakota swallowed hard. “I know.”

“But I want you to be happy too. And if Gavin makes you happy …”

“I don’t know,” Dakota said. “I don’t know if he does. I don’t know if we even fucking work together. But I—I know the thought of not being with him makes me feel like shit.”

“Sounds like love to me,” she said softly.

He chuckled. “Not love. Not yet. But maybe … maybe it could be. If we gave it a chance.”

“A chance at love is nothing to sneer at.”

“It’s not,” Dakota agreed. “I’m scared shitless of him being another Bryce but … I can’t spend my whole life refusing to even give a relationship another shot, can I?”

Violet’s smile was understanding. “No, you can’t.”

They were silent for a few moments before she asked, “Does Gavin have plans for the holidays?”

Dakota shook his head, slightly confused by the change of subject. “No. He—things are strained with his family.”

“Don’t I know about that,” Violet said with a sigh.

“Hey, Mom and Dad came around,” Dakota protested. Things had been rocky at first when Violet came out, but with time and some coaxing from Dakota, they’d learned a lot and reached out to her again.

They’d done the work to repair their relationship with Violet and were as proud of her as anyone.

“They did come around,” Violet admitted. “And I’m sorry they’re not planning to come visit this year.”

“Yeah, me too.” Dakota frowned. “Grandma is getting old though, and I get why they wanted to stay in Seattle to spend it with her.”

Unfortunately, the extremely short break for Christmas didn’t leave enough time for Dakota and Violet to fly out there. They’d have to make do with video chats and phone calls.

“Yeah, me too.” Violet brightened. “Since he’ll be around, you should invite Gavin!”

“Invite him to what?”

“Invite him to spend a few days with us around the holidays. It’ll give me a chance to see if he’s good enough to be dating my little brother.” There was a teasing light and warmth in his sister’s eyes now.

“I haven’t even decided anything for sure yet,” Dakota said, smiling too. “Isn’t it too soon to have him meet the family?”

“He’s met us already, you dummy,” she said lightly.

“Yeah, but not like this,” Dakota said. Because while a part of him wanted it—really wanted it—he was still scared. Still scared Gavin might wind up being like Bryce.

Scared to get his damn heart broken and have to start his life over again, only this time without his sister. Because if it went sideways with Gavin, he couldn’t imagine seeing him around the practice facility and arena all the time.

And then Dakota flinched because the thought of not seeing Gavin was even worse.

“You said you haven’t decided anything for sure,” Violet said in a soft tone. “But somehow, I don’t think that’s quite true.”

Dakota sighed, because as usual, his sister was right.