Page 19

Dakota was right, there was no reason for them to risk people finding out about them, so Gavin skated up to Jesse, Connor and the rest of their crew rather than linger and talk to Dakota like he wanted.

Crawford had Maura on his shoulders now, skating slower than he had with Evie earlier. Jesse and Evie were dancing to the Christmas carols playing on the sound system. And Kady was there with a gorgeous blonde woman on his arm who he was proudly showing off to anyone who would listen.

He’d gone around telling everyone, “Jesse found her for me,” in his thick Belarusian accent, which had sounded mildly alarming to Gavin, until he realized Jesse had helped Kady set up a dating profile and he’d met her there.

After a few moments of watching their shenanigans, Gavin joined the puck battle still going strong. He quickly grew impressed by Nolan’s stickhandling.

“Damn,” he said, panting a little after Nolan had put up a spirited fight. “Looks like we might be drafting another O’Shea in about four years.”

Connor grinned at his son and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’d be proud to have him play for the Harriers someday.”

Nolan’s cheeks turned almost as red as his hair as he glanced between his father and Gavin. “You think I could?”

“Well,” Gavin said carefully, because a lot could happen between fourteen and eighteen. Just look at him and Thad. “I think if you stay focused and keep working hard and learning from the amazing mentors you have here, you have a great shot at it.”

He nodded toward Connor and his father and brothers. Seriously, no kid could possibly have better people to learn from. Or, a legacy harder to live up to. The pressure and expectations he and Thad had experienced as high-round draft picks were nothing compared to what a new generation of O’Shea hockey players would go through.

He tried to think about what he would have wanted to hear at that age.

“I don’t know what the Harriers will be like when your draft rolls around, but if you’re still showing the kind of dedication and skill level I can see you have, I’ll do my damndest to draft you.”

Nolan glowed, leaning into his father’s body for a moment before shooting a glance at his boyfriend, Kyler.

“What about Kyler?” he asked, biting his lip.

Gavin smiled at the other teenager. “I’ll admit, I don’t know a lot about your skating abilities.”

“He’s so good,” Nolan said eagerly. “He’s a way better goal scorer than I am. Pure talent.”

Kyler glanced down at his skates, shrugging, like he was feeling shy about it.

“Nolan’s a little biased but he’s not wrong,” Connor said firmly. “I’ve seen his potential too. We all have.”

“Then I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” Gavin said.

His heart ached a little at the way the boys looked at each other, missing that connection. That feeling of being in love, when the world was new and shiny and everything seemed possible.

He remembered when he had felt that way. But it had only lasted a few years, because their draft day had been the beginning of the end of his pro hockey career. The beginning of the end of his closeness with his twin brother.

After that, it had been a whirlwind of bad choices and anger and disappointment and failure.

That memory wiped away the earlier joy of being on the ice, so a few minutes later, he made his excuses and left, his head whirling with thoughts as he went down the tunnel.

Thank God he was done with his Santa duties for now.

He made a beeline for the locker room where he’d left his street clothes. He stripped off the hot, itchy suit immediately but although he’d intended to shower, he sat heavily on one of the benches instead, dressed in briefs and a tank.

His skin was sheened with sweat, and he mopped at it with a towel, wishing he could blame it on the heavy Santa suit.

But that wasn’t all of it. That wasn’t even close to all of it.

Gavin braced his arms on his thighs and hung his head, feeling the stretch in his neck as he stared at his clasped hands and the carpet below it.

His brain whirled with memories of the GMs he and Thad had spoken to leading up to their draft year. The ones who’d promised to try to draft both of them, even though they’d all known it was practically impossible.

He didn’t have a clue how Boston’s previous GMs had managed it with so many of the O’Sheas over the years. Some combination of skillful negotiation, clever manipulation of the system, and possibly a dash of bribery.

Gavin’s throat went tight as he remembered his and Thad’s draft day, their shaking thighs pressed together as they waited for their names to be called. Finding out they’d gone to separate teams, Montreal and LA worlds apart after a lifetime spent in each other’s pockets.

He’d spent his whole life as a part of a unit.

Gavin, just a few minutes older than Thad.

G&T.

Their mom had always joked they were named after her favorite drink, though they’d actually been named after her father and his twin brother. The first Thaddeus had died in the Korean war and the first Gavin had never been quite the same after.

Gavin’s breath hitched, eyes stinging. God, how had everything gotten so fucked up? How had he and Thad gone from what they’d been to what they were now? How had their whole family come apart at the seams?

Gavin rubbed at his aching chest, because he knew how.

And it was all his fault.

“Oh my God,” Violet hissed. “You’re fucking Gavin Racine ? I thought you were involved with a trainer or something.”

Dakota sighed, running a hand through his hair. After he’d gotten off the ice, his sister had dragged him off to his yoga/Pilates studio in the arena and he hadn’t had a clue why.

Apparently, this was it. Fuck .

“How’d you figure it out?” he asked, leaning against one of the reformer machines.

“I saw the way you and ‘Santa’ were flirting.” She rolled her eyes as she made finger quotes. “I could read it from a mile away.”

“Ahh shit,” Dakota said.

“You do this thing with your hair when you’re interested in a guy. You tuck it behind your ear while you look up through your lashes at him.”

Dakota made a face, but he couldn’t deny it. He hadn’t realized he was doing it then . “So you don’t think everyone else can tell we’re involved?”

“Hopefully not. But even if they don’t figure it out, that’s a hell of a risk. What were you thinking , Dakota? I know you have bad taste in men, but I can’t believe?—”

“Hey,” he protested. “Uncalled for. Yeah, Bryce was awful but that was one shitty relationship. Gavin’s a good guy and we’re just?—”

“Just spending all of your time together.”

“I haven’t even stayed the night at his place!” he protested. “It’s casual, you know?”

Her tone was sarcastic as she said, “Oh grow up, Dakota. It doesn’t work like that. Are you really telling me you don’t feel closer to him than you did when this started?”

Dakota hesitated. “I mean, maybe a little bit. We’re getting to know each other better.” Not that the conversation had gone particularly well, but …

“And you aren’t falling in love with him?”

“No! I’m not. Yes, I like him as a person. At first, I had an impression he was, you know, kinda arrogant and stuff, but I realized I was wrong about that. He’s a good guy. He’s … thoughtful.”

Violet arched an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

Dakota quickly regretted his words. “I mean …”

Dakota thought about the fruit salad, and the sushi, and the matcha crème br?lée. The spare key to Gavin’s place still on his keychain.

“Look, it doesn’t matter ,” Dakota said firmly. “We were clear about what the expectations were for this from the beginning and we’re both on the same page.”

“And what about your fucking job? What about my job? Did you ever stop and think about that?”

Dakota winced, taken aback by his sister’s vehemence. “I mean, I probably could lose my job, yeah. But yours wouldn’t be in danger.”

“Are you sure?”

Dakota opened his mouth to say he was, but then he closed it again. Could it be at risk? But no, that was crazy. “Gavin would never?—”

Violet sighed. “No, I don’t think Gavin would either. Despite the way he put his foot in his mouth last fall, I genuinely believe he’s a good guy. I worry you two are setting yourselves up for trouble, however. I understand love being worth the risk, Dakota. But for some casual sex? How can that possibly be worth it?”

Dakota swallowed hard. Maybe Violet had a point.

“Look,” she said more softly. “Maybe I’m wrong. And maybe I was out of line for what I said about my job. It’s … I love it here. I’ve worked so hard to get here. You know how rare it is for a woman like me to find a job in sports. You joke that everyone here loves me, and they say they do, but I—I always worry about how that might change if they found out about me.”

Dakota nodded, wincing, because he hadn’t considered it. Hadn’t considered how risky it could be for her. “I get that. And the last thing I want to do is jeopardize what we’ve both worked so hard for.”

She reached out and took his hand. “I know. I just think sometimes … sometimes you let your head get clouded by a charming guy. And while I don’t think Gavin is like Bryce, this hookup is risky. For your career and your heart. I want you to make sure you’re thinking clearly.”

He nodded, squeezing her hand back. “I will. I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” She sighed, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “I do want you to be happy. You know I do.”

“Of course,” he assured her.

But it was like the bubble of joy had been pricked, leaving him deflated and questioning everything.

As the holiday skate wound down, the smaller children growing tired and leaving the ice in search of hot chocolate and cookies, Gavin approached the home bench where Thad was set up, filming the players and older kids still on the ice.

Gavin stopped beside his brother and saw the sudden tension in his shoulders indicating he knew Gavin was there, though he didn’t react otherwise.

Gavin tucked his hands in the pockets of his half zip sweater and waited.

Thad hit Stop on the video, then lowered his camera, though he didn’t say anything.

“You do good work,” Gavin said softly.

Thad glanced away from the ice, squinting at him. “What?”

“Your social media campaigns. I’ve been keeping up with them since you started, and they’ve been really good.”

“Oh.” Thad looked confused. “Thanks?”

After Gavin’s little moment in the locker room, he’d checked the Harriers social media for the umpteenth time, scrolling through the content Thad had created since he’d been hired. He was impressed all over again.

Thad was doing a damn good job. Far better than Gavin had anticipated when he’d pulled some strings to get him hired.

“I know I’ve been kind of a dick to you since you showed up at HCI asking for a job,” Gavin admitted, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “And I’m sorry.”

To his surprise, Thad sighed rather than lash out like he’d expected. “I didn’t give you much choice, did I?”

Gavin shrugged. “Well, you did pretty much demand I hire you or else …”

The or else had been implied, but Gavin had worried his brother would leak the truth about what had happened all those years ago to the world.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Thad admitted. “It was shitty. I wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

“No?”

Hurt flickered across Thad’s face. “You really think I’d torch your life that way?”

“I don’t know,” Gavin said honestly. “You seem pretty pissed about what happened. I can understand why it might feel fair to torpedo my life after I fucked up yours.”

“We both fucked it up,” Thad said thickly.

Gavin took a deep breath. For the first time in years, they were actually talking, rather than butting heads. Maybe Dakota was right. Maybe he should ask Thad about his holiday plans.

“Hey. I know this is out of the blue, but uh, would you—would you like to come over for Christmas?” Gavin asked, taking the plunge in this rare moment of peace between them.

“Um.” Thad flipped his ball cap around, so the bill faced front. “I can’t. I have plans with Mom and Dad.”

“You— what ?” Gavin whispered, breathless, like he’d been boarded, stunned by the hurt sweeping over him. “They’re still speaking to you?”

Thad drummed his fingers on the boards, the heavy-duty plastic scuffed and scarred from years of hockey players going over them. “Uhh, yeah. They didn’t—they didn’t visit when I was in prison or anything but last year Dad had that heart thing and?—”

“ What heart thing?” Emotions flooded his body faster than he could handle and his own heart suddenly beat too fast and too hard.

Thad looked stricken. “Oh shit, you didn’t know.”

“How would I fucking know?” Gavin snapped. “They haven’t spoken to me since your arrest. They blame me for everything that happened.”

“Fuck, Gav—” Thad reached out for him. “I’m sorry. I?—”

Gavin shook the touch off. “Forget it. But when you see them, tell them I said Merry Christmas .” He spat the words, turning on his heel and disappearing down the tunnel.

This time, he walked straight out of the arena and into the frigid Boston air.