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Paul

N ikki has got to go.

That chick is like an invasive pest. She shows up where you least want her, pushing her way in, and taking over. I hate her.

She makes me want to act like a caveman and tell her Brendon is mine.

All through classes, my brain is bouncing between fucking Brendon and Nikki telling people I’m gay or bi or whatever term she uses. I’m tense and frustrated and tired of myself when I get back to the dorm.

Brendon isn’t back yet, so I drop my bag and lay down in the dark, just needing a damn minute to chill out, but before I know it, I’m asleep.

I wake up slowly, to something grinding against my dick. My lungs suck in a little gasp and my eyes flutter open to find Brendon between my thighs and leaning over me.

“Please fuck me,” he murmurs. “I need you.”

I reach for him, bringing his mouth to mine in a slow, deep, lingering kiss. I’m relaxed from sleep and just want to explore him for a while. Brendon trembles, pants, and whimpers into our kiss. He’s so desperate and needy it’s intoxicating. I love him like this, that I can do this to him.

“Roll over,” I command, and he wastes no time switching spots with me on the bed. I get to my knees and pull his pants and underwear off, dropping them on the floor. He sits up to pull his shirt off, and I remove my clothes too, finally getting skin to skin with him. We groan in unison at the connection, at the warmth of our bodies together.

Brendon’s hips cradle mine, his legs wrapped loosely around me as I lean over him to kiss him again. He can’t keep still, too worked up from being edged for hours.

He’s whimpering and panting, his hands demanding and trying to rush.

“Shh,” I say with my lips on his chest. “I’ll get you there.”

“Please . . .” His voice is heavy with desperation, almost a sob in the quiet of the room. “I need you.”

I bite at his flesh, worshipping his body, sucking on his nipples and as much of the surrounding flesh that I can get into my mouth. His back arches off the bed, making my dick rub against his abdomen, and I moan around his skin.

I release his nipple with a pop and wrap my hand around his cock, stroking him fast with a tight grip. Brendon whimpers long and loud, his hips rolling and arching into my touch, thrusting into my palm. His face is red and shiny with perspiration, eyes closed and eyebrows pulled together.

“Please, Paul, fuck,” Brendon whines. “Coming!”

Cum splatters on his chest, drips down my hand, and pools on his stomach. He’s breathing hard, like he just did an hour of drills, but his body is limp now. The tension of just a few minutes ago evaporates, and I smile at him. I love that I can do this to him.

Swiping my fingers through the cum on his chest, I slide my fingers between his cheeks while leaning on my elbow next to his head.

He mewls when I circle his hole, still breathing too fast.

“Are you going to let me in?”

I get more cum and paint his hole with it, making sure my fingers are slick with it and push against him.

“Relax for me,” I say against his lips. One finger pops through the tight ring, and he moans. “Good boy.”

His cheeks brighten again at my words.

“Hmm, you like being good for me, don’t you, baby?” I lick along his bottom lip, and he turns into me, hiding his face in my neck while I pump my finger in and out of him. “You’re taking it so well.”

Gathering more cum, I slide two fingers into him, watching his body and listening for any sounds of pain. His chest is flushing red, and his hips are starting to move again, like he can’t keep them still.

“You like being full, don’t you?” I suck on his earlobe, and he shudders.

His cock twitches, and I smile, knowing he isn’t just tolerating this.

Two fingers become three, and it takes me a while, but I find his prostate, hooking my fingers in a “come hither” motion to find that magic spot. Brendon shouts when I find it, damn near jumping off the bed.

“There it is.” I chuckle.

“Fuck me, please,” Brendon begs with his face still in my neck. “Hard, deep, please.”

I sit up and grab the lube from the bedside table to slick my cock, then settle back against his hips. I swipe his cum across his bottom lip, line my head up with his stretched hole, and suck his lip as I push in. His salty taste bursts on my tongue as he arches into me, groaning into my mouth as he takes me deep. One steady thrust has me settled as deep as I can go.

Fuck. I drop my forehead to his and breathe through the urge to come already. He’s hot and tight and wet. It’s been so long since I had sex that I’m already close to the edge, but I want this to last. I need to show him that I can love his body just as much as his mind.

“Paul,” Brendon whines, gripping my arms hard enough to leave bruises.

I start with slow, deep thrusts, making sure he’s stretched enough. The last thing I want to do is hurt him and make this bad for him.

“Harder,” he demands, but I don’t do what he wants. I slow down, making him feel every inch of me. Brendon lets out a frustrated sob and grips at his hair. I take one of his hands, lacing our fingers together above his head and grip his thigh where it meets his hip in the other hand. My lips take his, and my thrusts get hard and deep, fast going in, but slow pulling out. It’s enough to keep him on the edge, to keep my own orgasm at bay for a while, but still feels possessive and almost dangerous. I have control of his body, his pleasure, and I’m addicted.

“Tell me you love me,” he begs, and my heart aches for him. I hate that he needs that reassurance during this. He must feel vulnerable like this.

“Look at me.” I wait until his eyes open. “I love you, Brendon. You are mine, always.”

A tear trails from the corner of his eye into his hair, but I don’t take my gaze from his. In this moment, we are sharing the same air, finding pleasure and comfort in each other, and solidly in this second of time. Nothing matters but us, right here, right now.

My body moves on instinct, keeping us connected and chasing the high of orgasm. Brendon wraps his legs around my ass to keep me close and bites his lip as he watches me.

“Touch yourself, I want to see you come again.”

He whimpers but reaches between us to jack off while I fuck him.

I’ve never had sex like this. Powerful. Connected. All-consuming. World-ending.

I love this boy, this man, with everything I am. It’s terrifying, but I can’t stop it. Putting distance between us only hurts both of us. I have to embrace it, embrace him, and hope he isn’t taken from me. It would destroy me, but not having him at all would be worse.

Brendon’s body tightens around me, pulsing and clenching as he empties himself again. His eyes stay locked on mine while he finds euphoria, and it pushes me over the edge. I fill him with me, shuddering and groaning against him until I’m weak and sated.

I collapse on Brendon, not giving a shit about the cum mess that we’ll have to clean up.

“Okay,” Brendon pants. “That was awesome, and we should do that more often.”

I chuckle and turn my head to kiss his neck.

“Definitely.”

“If you don’t get up, you’re going to be glued to me, and that’s just not my kink.” Brendon runs his hand through my hair and pulls on it playfully.

“Shhh, I’m sleepy.”

He laughs, making me bob up and down. “You could sleep through a tornado, I swear.”

“You love my dive alarm, and you know it.” I nip his neck, then sit up, unsticking my chest from his.

“I’m going to throw your phone out the damn window one of these days.”

I run my hand down his side and smile at him. “Come on, let’s rinse off. We have to get to practice.”

“Oh sure, fuck my brain into jelly, then make me go to practice. Real nice.” Brendon rolls his eyes but sits up. His gloriously naked body is so distracting, even in my post-nut haze.

He’s not super cut, there’s some padding on his muscles, and I love it. He clearly works out but loves food too. I love his body.

I climb off the bed and grab his hand to make sure he follows me into the bathroom. The shower isn’t huge, so we bump into each other as we try to clean up, but I don’t mind. I like the contact.

“Does this mean I can touch you whenever I want?” I ask as he rinses the soap off his stomach.

“Was that ever not allowed?” He turns to look at me like I’ve lost my mind. “I always want you to touch me. If I could ride on your back like a backpack all day, I would.”

I chuckle and lean in to kiss him quickly.

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” I tell him quietly, looking at my feet. In the steamy shower, it feels safer to tell him this. “I was afraid you would see it and stop coming to me when you needed to cuddle or whatever.”

Brendon cups my cheeks and lifts my face to his.

“How long?”

I sigh and close my eyes.

He’s your husband, you can be vulnerable with him.

“Basically, since you joined the Lumberjacks.” I hold my breath and wait for his reaction. Wait for him to be angry or disgusted or something. It’s stupid and logically I know that, but it doesn’t stop the fear.

“Paul.” My name is sad on his lips. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? I thought you were straight up until a few months ago.”

I chuckle and look at him.

“Definitely not straight.” I wrap my arms around his lower back, comforting myself with him. “I was scared you didn’t see me the same way, that you would stop talking to me.” I shrug and lay my head on his shoulder. Normally this position is reversed and he’s leaning on me, but I like that I can rely on him to be strong for me sometimes. That’s what relationships are all about, right? Switching who is strong.

“I keep waiting for you to get tired of me and leave.”

I lift my head and take in the truth of those words on his face.

“What? Why?”

He shrugs and rotates his wrists in that nervous way he does sometimes.

“Because of the bullying?” I can’t imagine talking about it is fun, but I feel like this is something I should know.

“Partially, but I’ve been told my entire life to lower my voice, sit still, stop making noise. I don’t have friends from childhood. I had to make new ones every year, only to join a hockey team where they hated me. Fucking Chad Fenwick had it out for me bad. He was a dick, and his dad was the coach, so he got away with everything.”

I pull Brendon into a tight hug and just hold him. I can’t imagine what he’s lived through, and I’m so glad Jeremy and I found him.

“Your quirks don’t bother me. I like that you’re you. You make me smile; it’s impossible not to have fun with you around, and some of my favorite memories involve you.”

Brendon lets out a quiet sob and grips me hard, digging his fingers into my back as he fights with the demons in his head.

“And if I ever hear anyone say anything like that to you, I’ll knock them out. You hear me?” I say into his ear. He nods and relaxes some, letting go of the ghosts that haunt him from his childhood. “I love you the way you are.”

Brendon presses his lips to mine. It’s salty with tears but healing.

“I can’t imagine my life without you,” he says, his voice rough. “You’re it for me.”