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24

Paul

I t’s been a week since Vegas. Since I married the love of my life. But I’m still scared he’s going to leave and take my heart with him. I will be a ghost of who I am if I lose him. Despite him wanting to have sex and expecting it when we got back from the Vegas game, I haven’t been able to. It’s so intimate. Something is telling me to hold back, not to consummate the marriage. Like it won’t hurt as much if he changes his mind now.

We’ve been avoiding Brendon’s new bestie, Nikki. I swear she just hangs out in the hallway waiting for the door to open. She posts pictures on Instagram and shit, tagging Brendon and putting shit like #bestie in the caption. Sometimes I’m not even sure how she’s getting the pictures because the angles are so weird. Other times, she gets him coming out of a class or practice or during games. It’s annoying as fuck.

Games are almost over since we aren’t doing post-season games, and finals are coming up. We’re not going to the Frozen Four, so we’re able to relax after this.

I snagged Brendon after his class to have lunch with me today since it’s one of the few days a week we can.

When we get to the dining hall, we find Jeremy in line for food too and sit at a table together. There’s a sense of normalcy to it that I crave. This is normal, no surprises, just us hanging out.

“Where’s Daddy Preston?” Brendon asks much louder than he should have.

Jeremy laughs and shakes his head. “He’s in class. I swear you have the memory of Swiss cheese.

“Are we going to the heroes party next week?” Jeremy asks before shoving a huge bite of chicken into his mouth. The fraternities are throwing a street party for International Woman’s Day and have themed it heroes.

“Oh shit, that’s next week, huh?” Brendon pulls his phone, probably looking at the date. “Shenanigans, obviously,” he says while shoving a bite of his lunch into his mouth. He reaches across the table to snag a crouton from my plate too. I stab the back of his hand with my fork, but he manages to keep a hold of it and shove it in his mouth.

He gives me a big grin, and he chews.

“You’re a menace.” I move my plate farther from him, and Jeremy snags a tomato this time. “The fuck?!”

Both of them laugh while I grumble and pull my plate off the table to clutch it against my chest.

“Fuck both of you.”

Jeremy and Brendon both waggle their eyebrows at me, then crack up.

“Idiots, the both of you.” I shove a bite of my salad into my mouth and glare at them.

“Obviously, I want to get drunk. Are they doing a theme?” Jeremy asks, bringing the conversation back around.

“It’s called heroes, what do you think it’s themed?” I look at Jeremy like the moron he is.

“I don’t care, I want to wear a costume,” Brendon agrees, pointing his fork at Jeremy.

Jeremy starts laughing and slides his hand down his face. “I obviously need more sleep.”

“Is the dorm having a party?” I ask, hoping I can keep both of them close to home. Chasing drunk jocks across campus is not fun, and I’m not sure how much Preston will put up with before disappearing with Jeremy.

“Probably, but the frat houses will be a fuck-ton more fun.” Brendon wags his eyebrows again.

“Since when are you into frat parties?” Jeremy asks the same question I’m thinking.

“Dude. Have you ever been to one? They take drinking to another level.”

I shake my head at him, knowing how it worked out for him last time. I guess it was fun while he was doing it?

“Should we do a theme? Like we’re all superheroes?” Jeremy and his love of Marvel movies makes me laugh.

“I’ll be Batman, Brendon can be Robin.” I smile wide at Jeremy who scoffs.

“DC? Are you serious right now?”

Brendon’s foot hooks around my ankle under the table and pulls so he can wrap both legs around mine. He pulls out his phone and types out a message to someone while I argue with Jeremy over what makes a superhero (apparently having cool toys to save Gotham doesn’t make Batman a superhero), and my phone buzzes in my pocket.

I pull it from my hoodie pocket and see Brendon’s name on the screen.

MENACE: I’ve always wanted to fuck Batman.

I try to hide the smile that itches to stretch across my face, but Jeremy calls me on it.

“Someone send you a titty pic or something?” Jeremy asks.

“What?” I look up at him, confused.

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” Jeremy nods toward my lap.

“Titty pic was your first guess?” I put my phone back in my pocket.

“I was hoping Brendon wasn’t sending dick pics at the table.” Jeremy shrugs and finishes his food.

Brendon moves like he’s going to pull his dick out right here in the dining hall, but I slap his arm, and he stops with a big grin on his face.

“If you pull your dick out in here and Preston finds out, he will murder you, and I won’t be able to stop him,” I tell him, and Jeremy snickers.

“That’s true,” Willis says as he walks past our table.

“It was just a message from Grandma. Apparently, Drumstick is being a broody bitch again.”

We finish our food and put our trays away. Jeremy and Brendon run from the dining hall and start pretending to do karate on the lawn, then end up rolling around on the grass like a couple of dumbasses.

It makes me happy to see him being his goofy self. I love all the parts of him, all the different versions that exist in him, but this one reminds me to laugh and have fun. I stand at the edge of the cement pathway and watch my best friends wrestle and laugh while yelling insults at each other.

Carpenter stops next to me and crosses his arms, bumping his shoulder into mine. “They really are children, aren’t they?” he huffs and shakes his head.

“Yeah sometimes.” I watch as Brendon gets Jeremy in a head lock and wraps his legs around Jeremy’s hips. Jeremy taps out and screams a high-pitched sound.

“Does that make you Daddy?” Carp smirks and laughs to himself.

“I mean . . .” I sigh and shake my head when Jeremy charges at Brendon, knocking him to the ground and tickling our redheaded friend until he shrieks.

Our captain claps my shoulder. “Good luck, man.”

The sun is setting, and the lights around campus come on. Jeremy and Brendon run toward me, covered in grass.

I hold up my hands to slow them down. “No!”

Jeremy grabs my hands, and Brendon jumps onto my back, wrapping arms and legs around me to stay on. I grip onto Jeremy to stay standing while Brendon laughs like a crazy person.

“What the hell, dude?!” I hook my arms under his knees to hold him, and my phone starts buzzing with an incoming call. Without asking, Jeremy reaches inside my pocket and answers the video call.

“Grandma!” Jeremy shouts, turning to get me and Brendon behind him.

“My boys!” Grandma smiles. “What trouble are you getting into today?”

“Uh, all of it?” Brendon says, biting my ear.

Nothing like trying not to get aroused in front of your grandmother. Thanks a lot, ass.

“I like it.” She nods.

“Do not encourage him!” I beg.

He raises one fist in the air and cheers.

“How are you, Grandma? Tell me everything.” Jeremy takes my phone and walks away.

“You really are a menace.” I turn to look into the smiling face of the boy I love.

“Yeah, but you like me this way.” He shrugs with a beautiful smile on his face. The darkness that still lingers is in the background, but in this moment, he’s happy. “Giddy up, P Daddy!”

I roll my eyes at the name but brace myself and take off toward the dorms as fast as I can while Brendon hoots and hollers. One of his arms is around my chest, and his chin is on top of my head. This carefree, laughing side of him is everything. I would do anything to make him happy.

Does he know that?