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23

Paul

I ’m giddy.

I’ve never associated that word with myself before and it’s . . . amazing. I’m married. Brendon is officially mine, and I want everyone in the entire world to know. Right. Now.

We’re walking down the street, Brendon talking a mile a minute in his excitement, but I can’t take my eyes off the Polaroid picture we were handed. The happiness on my husband’s face.

A grin takes over my own face, and I grab a fistful of his shirt, shoving him back against the wall of whatever building we’re standing next to, and plant my lips on his. It doesn’t matter that we’re in public and anyone could see us. I don’t know how close we are to the hotel and to our teammates. In this moment, I need him, and I will not wait another second.

My lips crash onto Brendon’s while he’s still talking, and I take advantage of his open lips, thrusting my tongue into his mouth like I’m fucking it. Tasting every inch, every millimeter, of him. I need him branded into my brain, into my flesh, into me. He’s mine. Forever.

Brendon’s hands grab my ass and pull my hips to his, and he grinds against me. I groan into him, desperate to feel everything right this second.

I’m lost in him. In this second of time that’s standing still. Wrapped around the man I’ve loved for years and never thought I could actually have, I’ve found peace. The part of me that has been broken since my mom died heals. The scar still shiny and fragile, but it’s there, knitting me back together.

The urge to cry hits the back of my throat and burns my eyes, so I lean my forehead against Brendon and just breathe. Wrapping my arms around his neck to keep him as close as possible, we just exist in this together.

His lips brush against my cheek, placing soft, sweet kisses along my skin.

“You okay, P Man?”

“I love you,” I whisper, opening my eyes to meet his. “So much it scares me.”

Even in the dim light, I can see his brown eyes sparkle at me and the freckles dotting his cheeks.

“We’ll be okay. Come hell or hot water.” The sincerity in his voice almost has me miss what he said.

“Hot water?” My face scrunches up in confusion.

“Yeah, hell or hot water. It’s a saying.”

I can’t stop the laugh or the smile that turns up my lips.

“It’s hell or high water, babe.” I give him a quick kiss, then step back.

“I don’t think so.” Brendon shakes his head. “It’s hell, the water would be hot.”

I sigh and grab his hand so we can find food before having to be back in the hotel.

“Whatever you say.”

Brendon links our fingers and lifts our hands to his mouth, then bites my hand.

“Hey!” I yell at the unexpected sharp pain. “No biting.”

A knowing, sultry look transforms his face. “And we don’t lick people, right?”

Heat floods my body at the mental image of Brendon licking me, taking my cock into his mouth and sucking on me. Fuck. My dick thickens in my jeans, and I have to adjust myself. Brendon snickers, and I glare at him.

“Bastard,” I grumble at him but continue down the street.

There’s a McDonald’s close to the hotel, so we stop and get a bag of burgers before heading back.

We stand together outside, looking up at the building with a bag of cheeseburgers in my hand.

“I don’t want to go in there.” Brendon sighs.

“We could sit in the stairwell again.” I shrug, not wanting to leave him either.

“Or you could come to my room, and I’ll see if I can annoy Willis until he takes your room key and fucks off.”

I laugh but shake my head. “As amusing as that sounds, I don’t want to share you yet.”

Brendon gives me a shy smile and we enter, going to the elevator and getting off on the fourth floor and heading to the opposite staircase as last time. The door closing echoes, but we drop onto the top step, and I put the bag between us.

“This is going to be hard to keep a secret,” Brendon says quietly before taking a massive bite of his burger.

I unwrap the yellow paper and crumble it up into a ball. “Why?”

I watch Brendon’s throat work as he swallows before he answers. “Because you deserve more than that.” He turns his head to look at me, and it warms my heart. Brendon is such a good man. I got lucky having him as my best friend but even more so to have him love me.

“I’ll get myself figured out and we can tell people.” I squeeze his hand, and he lifts mine to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. “You deserve to not be a secret too. I’m not ashamed of you. You know that, right?”

Brendon nods. “I know. It’s weird to come out. To feel like you have to announce to everyone what you like in bed.” He shakes his head. “Can you imagine if everyone had to do that?” He changes his tone, mimicking a woman. “I just want everyone to know that I like being humiliated and gangbanged. I didn’t choose this life, it chose me. This is the real me.”

I laugh, picturing a sassy girl telling her parents and can’t contain myself.

“It’s fucking stupid.” Brendon shakes his head. “And why do straight people then think they can ask follow-up questions?” This time he lowers his voice and sounds like a stereotypical dumb jock. “But, like, which one of you is the girl?”

I pick at the bun, eating little pieces before I reply. “That’s one of the big things holding me back. That and people thinking less of me. I don’t want who I love to change people's opinion of me.” My shoulders slump, and I lean my forearms on my knees. “I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but it’s hard.”

Brendon moves the bag and slides over until he’s touching me from shoulder to knee. “We shouldn’t care what other people think, but we all do.” He lays his head on my shoulder and sighs. “But if someone you’ve known a while judges you for it, they weren’t your person. You’ll find better ones who won’t care or judge.”

“Change is scary.”

“It is, but I’ll be there, and honestly, if anyone is a real dick, we’ll sic Preston on them.”

We both laugh, and for some reason, it makes me feel better to picture Preston punching some homophobic asshole because he ran his mouth to me. Not that I couldn’t handle it myself, but knowing Preston would probably have my back helps. Jeremy will only be pissed that we didn’t invite him to the wedding, but not that there was one.

For a few minutes we sit in comfortable silence, just eating and throwing the balled-up wrappers at each other with easy smiles. We’re just us.

Brendon pulls out his phone, checks the time, and sighs.

“I don’t want to go back to my room without you.”

Reaching for his chin, I turn his face toward me and kiss him softly, lingering. With our lips still exploring, Brendon moves and pushes my knees apart. He puts a hand on the back of my neck and intensifies our kiss. I think it’s the first time he’s taken over, taken what he needed instead of letting me tell him what he’ll get. It makes me smile, knowing he’s comfortable making his needs known. His hips meet mine, rubbing us together, rolling his hips, and panting against me.

“I want to suck you off,” Brendon says against my mouth and moves both hands to my pants, but I grab his wrists.

“Hey, hey, hey,” I say as I lean my forehead against his. “We don’t have time.”

Brendon groans and shoves his face into my chest. “I’m going to go annoy Willis until he demands you change rooms.”

I can’t help but chuckle and run my hand down his back. “We’ll survive a few days.”

“Says you,” he grumbles into my shirt.

“Hey, you got off, like, three hours ago. You’ll live.”

Brendon pops up off my shirt with an intense expression. “When you jack off next, send me pictures or like a video of you coming.” He bites his lip and grinds against me. “Fuck, that would be hot.” Brendon nips at my bottom lip, rolling his body against mine. “Go do it right now, please? I want it.”

I’ve never done anything like that, but it’s turning me on how badly he wants it. It’ll be weird, but I’ll do it for him.

“Yeah?” I watch his face, watch the lust turn his skin pink and blow his pupils wide. “Will you send me some too?”

“Fuck yeah, I will. Goddamn. Go right now. I’m hard as a fucking rock.”

I reach between us and grip his cock through his shorts. He whimpers, and thrusts into my grip. I love watching him start to lose control. When he gives into sensation and just takes from me.

“You’re so sexy when you want to come. Don’t keep quiet, I want to hear your sounds.” My lips brush his ear, and he shudders, leaning harder into me and chasing the high of orgasm.

“Please,” he whimpers and grips onto me hard enough to leave red marks on my skin but not bruises. A part of me wants the bruises too. He has my mark tattooed on him; I want it too. I want rings to show everyone he’s mine and I’m his, but it’s my own fault we don’t.

I’ll get there, and hopefully, it won’t take me too long.

What are you going to do if he dies? Or leaves?

That stupid voice in my head ruins everything. The excitement I had just a second ago is gone and filled with fear. I can’t lose him. It will kill me.

I wrap my arms around Brendon and just hold him against me while I kiss him.

“I love you,” Brendon says with his lips still on mine.

A door opens below us, echoing off the walls, and we freeze, staring at each other with pounding hearts.

“Paul? Brendon?” Jeremy’s voice has us both relaxing. Brendon moves to sit next to me on the step.

“What?” we say at the same time and smile at each other.

“They’re checking rooms, hurry up!” The door bangs shut again, and I sigh.

“Good night, husband, ” Brendon says, wagging his eyebrows at me.

A big smile splits my face. “Good night, husband.”

I kiss him, then we gather our trash and head to our own rooms.