Page 87 of Blood & Snow

Ifeign a frown as I turn in his arms and rise up on tip toes to kiss him.

"And family is everything, right?"

Playing to his sense of duty and loyalty, I smile and he nods.

"It is…" he grunts, but he's not happy.

He follows me to the front room where I collect my mother's shawl, my clutch, and don my coat.

The children will be waking soon, my sister too, and we will select the perfect tree—well the best one we can afford.

I can't keep being loose with cash anymore.

I have to make it look like we're still struggling or Irina will flip out.

"You sure you can't stay?" he asks again as we reach the door and I frown.

"Khishchnik, I have to be with the children. And I need a nap."

If I'm defiant or forceful this man will snap, and I don’t want that.

I just want some time to think and process.

"I'll have Igor drive you home," he says, finally relenting.

His quick peck on the cheek is chaste, anger darkening his eyes.

He doesn't like being told no, but he's allowing it for now.

I get the feeling he won't always be so considerate.

And as I sit in the back seat of his car being shuttled back to my "normal" life, I feel torn.

I'm terrified of how deeply I'm being dragged into his world, but in the same breath, I'm finding I will do anything for this man.

I'm not sure how to feel about that.

That's what love is, right?

To waste your whole life pouring out just to make someone else's life better because you can't stand to see the sadness in their eyes…

Yes, I'm ruined.

And soon I'll be a murderer just like him.

XANDER

Three days pass before I take Nadya with me to the market.

The intelligence came through my contacts at dawn—a courier moving money through theNovy Godcrowds, using the festival chaos as cover.

The perfect opportunity to intercept Brotherhood funds and gather information about their operations.

And a good reason to spend more time with her in a way that doesn't feel like we're just colleagues.

Nadya sits in the passenger seat as I navigate Moscow's morning traffic, her hands folded in her lap.