Page 40 of Blood & Snow

The fire that ignited in my core while bandaging him last week returns with fury, pooling warmth in my groin that forces a knot into my throat.

"Don't," I say, but I don't move away.

"Don't what? Don't touch you? Don't acknowledge the desire I have for you?"

His hand slides into my hair, fingers tangling in the dark strands.

"Don’t admit that I think of you while I'm touching myself, hmm? Do you think of me too,Ptichka?"

I do think about him. Every night since treating his gunshot wound, I've replayed the memory of his bare chest under my hands.

I've imagined what would have happened if he'd pulled me closer, if I'd let my fingers explore the scars and tattoos covering his skin.

"You're dangerous," I breathe.

"Yes."

"You kill people."

"Yes."

"You threatened my family."

"To keep you in line,Ptichka, so I could protect them. And you."

His other hand settles on my waist, pulling me closer until only inches separate our bodies.

"The Brotherhood saw you at that store with me. They would've found you eventually. This way, you have value to me, which means you have protection."

"I don't want protection. I want my normal life back."

I am whimpering like a goddamn baby while his touch makes my insides unravel.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

He murders people for a living, and I'm letting his hands make my body come alive.

"Your normal life was poverty and desperation. Working minimum-wage jobs while your sister struggled to support two children alone."

His grip tightens possessively.

"I gave you power and money and purpose."

"You give me nightmares."

"And excitement. And desire. And reasons to feel alive again after months of merely existing."

His thumb traces my lower lip.

"Tell me you don't feel it,Ptichka. Tell me you don't want me to touch you, and I will stop right now."

I can't tell him that because it would be a lie.

The attraction between us has grown stronger with every encounter until standing this close to him makes my skin burn and my breaths come short.

I want him with an intensity that terrifies me, want him despite every rational reason to run.

"This is insane," I whisper.