Page 45 of Blood & Snow

What happens to me now that I've fucked this man if I don’t want to do this anymore?

Will he still kill me if I try to walk away?

I'm not a fool.

Men like Xander Morin don'tjust let you walk away when you know their dirty little secrets.

"Are you going to kill me now,Khishchnik?" I use the same vague metaphor he's been using.

I'm the little bird, he's the predatory cat. And like a wolf tucking its tail down and its ears back, I press a kiss to his chest in sheer terror, hoping he will see that I don't want any trouble.

I don't know him well enough to know what he's thinking.

"A cat doesn’t kill every bird it catches. Some it cages, some it devours, some it keeps only to hear them sing. I haven't decided which you are."

His arm covers me and his body relaxes, but somehow, his words only frighten me more.

For now, I'm lying here in his arms, safe enough.

But who knows what tomorrow will bring, or if my body will betray my better judgement again.

I should never have come here with him, but the alternative might have been worse.

I could be dead, slaughtered by his enemies.

Instead, my core is still pulsing with the best release I've had in years, and I know I will live to see another sunrise.

What happens after that is anyone's guess.

9

XANDER

Isit across from Markov at his desk while the sunlight fades across the river.

I've been working for weeks to eliminate the Brotherhood and I feel I'm nowhere near my goal.

Based on the way the boss is looking at me, he realizes it too.

I've been distracted, unable to keep the memory of Nadya in my bed out of my head.

I knew before I even stole that first kiss how dangerous it would be for me, how it would cloud my thinking and slow my reactions.

I knew it because I was off my game before it even happened.

Otherwise, I'd never have allowed one of them to get a shot at me.

Now I sit across from my boss feeling like a guilty man.

I'm up against a clock and failing.

"Progress is acceptable but insufficient," Markov says without looking up from the documents.

"The Brotherhood still operates from four confirmed locations. Your deadline remains unchanged."

"I understand."

I keep my voice neutral, but I feel the turmoil in my chest.