Page 103 of Black and White, Twice the Might

“Devils,” a man shouts at us from across the street. “You’re all dragging us to hell.”

I glance to the side to see who is yelling. A priest is standing there holding up a large crucifix. He looks middle-aged, a little on the tubby side and has the most horrendous comb-over.

Ben sighs. “Reverend Portello.”

“I didn’t know the town had a priest,” Sal says, walking over and joining us.

The priest comes storming over. “This town is a disgrace, you abominations are going to hell, where you’ll burn in the internal fires of damnation.”

“Will it be warm there?” Xander asks, “Because it’s freezing today.”

I’m not the only one who laughs at that.

“This is no laughing matter, young man. This town, the very essence of it, is corrupting us, honest warriors of our lord. Come with me and I’ll save your soul,” he holds out his hand to Xander.

“You’re alright, thanks. I’ll take my chances with my family. By the way, comb-overs are never a good look,” Xander tells him.

I try to hide my laughter behind a cough, but I’m not sure it worked.

“I’ll pray for your souls and the souls of every poor person who lives in this cursed town.” And with that, the reverend storms off in the direction of the church.

“Wasn’t he delightful?” Elliot comments.

Sal looks confused. “I don’t remember seeing him before.”

“The good reverend splits his time between here and the next town over. He tends to spend more time there, as you saw, he’s not a fan of this town. It’s the first time he’s been this vocal, though. I’ll have to let Adhan know,” Ben replies.

“What a dick. The guy is nuts, and seriously, who has a comb-over nowadays?” Xander says. “Plus, there is nothing wrong with my soul.”

I put a hand on Xander’s shoulder. “No, there isn’t, and yes, he was.”

“Don’t worry, Xander,” Elliot says. “We can all meet up in hell and have a party. With all of us down there, there is no way hell will be boring.”

We laugh at that.

“That’s true. Thank goodness I dropped Connie off at home before we saw him. I need to get to the shop. Oh, before I forget, we’re off to the bunker tonight if you want to join us. Now I’ve got to run, catch you all later.”

“Bye,” we all say.

“Elliot, take my number. Then message me if you want to stay at ours.”

We swap numbers and then leave Ben and Elliot and carry on to the hardware store.

“Can you believe that nut job?” Xander asks.

“There are always nut jobs out there. Always some religious person who thinks anything outside of their little black and white boxes is evil and that anyone outside of those boxes is going to hell.”

“Why can’t people just let people live their lives without interference?” Xander asks.

“I can never figure that out. You would think in this day and age that they would, but there you go. If everyone got on and let people live their own authentic lives, what would they have to complain about?”

“The weather?”

I snort out a laugh and one-armed hug him.

We arrive home hours later,carrying lots of bags and exhausted.

Sly meets us at the door and takes some of our bags. “Just a little bit of shopping then.”