Page 47 of Bitten by Bloodmoon (Mateless Shifters #2)

Lumi

I asked my questions and I got my answers.

But their story was more heartbreaking and fucked up than I first realized.

I thought they had fought over a girl, much like they are doing now.

I didn’t realize the curses had been working to destroy the division between us for far longer than any of us realized.

I’m glad I asked. I’m glad I waited until they were both together. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gotten the whole story.

Ambrose takes off, agreeing to meet us at the marking ceremony with a witch he trusts. He barely looks at me and doesn’t tell me goodbye. He’s trying his best not to expand any feelings he has for me, and he’s not sure if I’m still pissed off with him or not.

Ambrose didn’t ask who I was choosing in the marking ceremony. Nyx hasn’t asked either. Instead, he’s been silent and standoffish since Ambrose left.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” I say.

After gently prodding in his mind, I realize his shields are once again locked up tight.

I suspect that Ambrose and he have a plan involving me that he doesn’t want to share.

They think I’ll martyr myself, or that I’ll choose wrong.

Whether his shields are up or down, I know them both too well.

They are two sides of the same coin. Ambrose is moonlight, fire, and warmth.

Nyx is the embodiment of nightfall, darkness, and cool.

But they both love me, or as close as either of them will allow themselves to. Both could be my mates.

It doesn’t matter what their plans are; I have my own plan.

“Are you thinking about Raya?” I ask.

Nyx closes his eyes as the breeze blows against his face. “Always.”

I rub my hands over my biceps, warming myself in the chill air. “Want to talk about her?”

“No.” His eyes turn to me, the red turning to blackness, blending in with the night sky. Desire swirls, and I know what he wants. To make the pain stop. I see it, the pain he’s feeling. I just don’t know why.

Because of Raya?

Or is he still recovering from his injuries?

Because he thinks I’m choosing Ambrose in the marking ceremony?

Or is it the secret he’s hiding from me? The one he thinks he’s hidden, but I can’t help but see?

It’s hard to tell, but the pain gets louder with each beat of his heart, seeping through his skin and leaving more ink-like stains on his body.

“You’re not a killer. Whatever happens next, know that.”

“But I am. If anything, this just confirmed that.”

“None of it is your fault.”

“It’s not Ambrose’s either.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t need to defend him to me. I already told you I loved him and that I think he’s my mate.”

“Yes, but you still haven’t forgiven him.”

“Hmmm, and what about you?”

“What about me?”

“I forgive you.”

He shudders at my words as I rest my hand over his heart.

“It’s time you forgive yourself.”

He places his hand over mine. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re worthy of being my mate, too. Worthy of being loved.”

I expect him to argue. To fight me and say that I’m wrong. That we aren’t mates, to try to push me toward Ambrose.

He doesn’t.

It makes me even more suspicious.

For all his martyr talk, he’s the martyr between us. He’s the selfless one. The one always sacrificing. The one willing to make the most significant sacrifice of all.

“I love you, Nyx.”

His lips crash into mine. He doesn’t fight me, doesn’t argue that I’m wrong.

I stop trying to figure out what game he’s playing, and I don’t think about my own plans or hide my feelings.

Our hands wrap around each other as I rise on my tiptoes to meet his kiss with my whole body. His hand tangles in my hair, gripping my neck so he can angle my head to deepen the kiss.

“Gods, yes,” I think.

His tongue sweeps.

My body melts.

He breaks the kiss and, with a dark, husky voice, says, “I love you, too. I’ve loved you for far too long, love.”

Then believe in us. Don’t push me to him, I think behind the wall I built in my mind, knowing he won’t hear my words.

Neither of us speaks the word mate.

He doesn’t believe we are. And the word holds no weight for me in this moment.

My hands rake over his bare chest, slinking between us to grab the waistband of his jeans.

I get the button and zipper undone while keeping my lips locked on his.

I’ve never been so hungry for him. So needy to have him thrust inside me, trying desperately to show him that we belong together.

That we’re more than just lovers. Or if love is all we have, then that’s enough.

His hands are just as frantic on my body as he rips my shirt, pants, bra, and underwear from my body in the time it takes me to slide his pants down his legs.

We’re outside and the air is cold, but neither of us is bothered by it. Not when we’re together.

Before he gets a chance to protest, I’ve knelt before him in the grass, my mouth wrapping around his thick cock, humming my lips as I pump him, knowing he’s fully under my control right now.

I feel powerful as he fists my hair and watches me through hazy eyes, looking down at me as I pump my lips along his cock.

He lets me do it for one, two, or three strokes before he starts roaring. Snow begins to fall from the sky, hitting our skin as he yanks me up with one arm. I wrap my legs around his waist.

“My turn,” he says before kissing me.

Before I can take another breath, my back is against a tree, my thighs are spread, and he’s on his knees in front of me, kissing me like he wants to worship me for hours.

But I give him the same courtesy he gave me. One, two, three…

I shove him hard until he falls to the ground on his back. I dive on top of him, the snow hitting us harder now, blanketing our bodies in a thin layer of snow that we ignore.

“I need you,” I pant.

“I need you more.” He angles our bodies, easily sliding his cock into me without separating us. I feel like I’m crushing him as he glides in and out of me, gently stretching me as he fucks me.

He kisses me just as tenderly. Sweetly under the stars with the snow frosting my back.

He rolls us until I’m underneath him, shielding me from the brunt of the snow and cold. But the cold doesn’t bother me, not with him.

“I’m scared,” I admit.

“Me too.”

“We aren’t supposed to love each other, are we?”

“No.”

My breath hitches as he dives deeper inside me, my walls tighten around him, pulling him deeper. We arch together.

“This is a dream,” I whisper.

“Or a nightmare.”

“You really think there’s no chance I’ll choose you?”

He thrusts harder, ignoring me. And I have no choice but to follow his lead. My mind can’t focus on anything but us.

As the snow falls harder, the flakes start sticking to my eyelashes. Regular people would shiver from the cold, but we’re not like them. We actually welcome the cold, the darkness, and the night.

His pace increases, and the friction between us has me hurtling closer to the edge of my orgasm. He shifts ever so slightly, knowing exactly how to angle our bodies to bring the most pleasure.

The runes on my body return, shining bright gold in the darkness. His scars seem to shimmer as well in sync with my own.

“Fall apart, love,” he gently coaxes me.

His body, on the other hand, is doing nothing gently. He’s hammering into me now, hurdling us both toward that end point that is either a dream or a nightmare.

“Only if you go with me,” I pant back.

“Always, my love, always,” he rasps.

I fall, disintegrating into a million pieces that only he can put back together as I come. My voice is wrecked as I scream out his name and lose myself completely to him.

His strained voice barely cuts through the air, but I hear it.

Mate .

I heard it in the dark. With the snow falling. The wind howling. Lightning striking. Darkness engulfing us.

I heard it.

He can’t take it back.

I wouldn’t want him to.

Because he’s my mate. I loved Ambrose, but he broke me.

Maybe it was unfair since he couldn’t love me back.

Maybe the universe always intended Ambrose to be my one true mate, but something went wrong or right, because there is no doubt in my mind that Nyx is also my mate.

He mended me when Ambrose broke me. Brought me back to life when I felt like there was no reason left to live. Nyx is the only reason I’m alive now.

I love him.

He’s my mate. For better or worse. Whatever tomorrow brings. He’s the one I choose. The problem is I don’t get a choice. And in the aftershocks, Nyx let his guard down; I slipped into his mind. I know exactly what secret he’s hiding. I know what I have to do. I don’t have a choice.