Page 40 of Bitten by Bloodmoon (Mateless Shifters #2)

Lumi

T he living room is packed when we return to Nyx’s house. Each person’s eyes sweep across our bodies, studying us for any wounds or injuries. Riven, in particular, breathes out a sigh of relief when he realizes his healing services won’t be needed tonight.

“Learn anything helpful?” Kael asks, but I know he can tell by my body language that the answer is no.

I shake my head, hanging it low. Nyx doesn’t even respond to them. He can’t even make eye contact with any of them. He’s in a haze. He’s been this way since we spoke to Thalia. He’s completely lost in his own thoughts, unable to articulate any of them to me.

To him, it’s like no one is even here as he walks past the living room to the stairs that lead to his bedroom. I follow after, not bothering to share anything more with the group.

The sun has begun to set, but for now, the room is illuminated with golden light, leaving long streaks stretching across the floor.

Nyx lingers at the threshold, the sunlight brushing against the edges of his shoes in a cruel warning.

He paces just outside the door, slowly inching inside his room as the light pulls back, retreating slowly from his room.

His mind twisted with the words Thalia spoke to us.

I step through the sunlight over to the bed, where I sit on the edge.

“What are you thinking?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer. I’m not even sure he heard me. His pacing is relentless. He walks back and forth in quiet resignation as if this is his new destiny—to grind a path into the floor, forever.

I push gently against his mind. He has a shield up, but it’s a weak one. He’s not really putting much effort into keeping me out, making it easy for me to slide through. Once inside, I feel all of his emotions flooding me.

Killing, death—that’s how I end or prevent a war. I kill everyone important. That’s always been my role.

Ambrose is her mate. But then, that’s always been true. She’ll break the curse for at least one creature, and I’ll help them break the curse for the rest.

I suck in a breath, realizing the immensity of what Thalia told him.

I’ve always been the one destined to break the curse.

But she said he’s destined to do something as big or bigger—stop the war.

Break the curse for the rest. That’s huge.

That’s a lot of responsibility on his shoulders to figure out how to do that.

“Do you believe Thalia? All of the witches?”

He blinks, as if he’s finally realized he’s not alone in the world.

“Yes.”

“Even though they are witches and might have their own motives?”

“Yes, I believe them. Thalia, especially. ”

I nod, my own heart sinking a little.

“That’s it then. He’s my mate. They’ve all said so. He’s the only way I can break the curse.”

“It appears that way, yes,” Nyx says with dark longing in his eyes as he looks at me. He knows what could have been but will never be. We could have been good together, so fucking good.

But then again, he’s a vampire. I’m a shifter without a wolf. He’s a killer, and I’m a fragile human. He has his own baggage, and I still have feelings for my controlling ex. Could we have ever really worked?

“Even if he’s truly your mate, it doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.

You have one week until the next full moon.

Take your time deciding. Make sure it’s what you really want.

If you want to take longer to decide, then I’ll protect you as long as you want.

” He pauses and looks at me with an intense gaze.

“Just because you can break the curse doesn’t mean you have to.

You don’t have to break the curse—ever.”

“Do you think I could live with myself if I could break the curse but didn’t? If I could end others’ suffering but didn’t?”

“Still doesn’t mean you have to choose someone who is a controlling asshole. But if you do, maybe you need to make your own blood deal with him.”

I stare at Nyx, not sure what to say.

“But it’s also okay to give yourself permission to forgive him, to go back with him. There is a reason you never severed your bond with him. You still love him,” he says.

I don’t confirm or deny it. I just stare at Nyx, still caged by the sunlight across the room from me.

“Ambrose is my mate,” I say out loud in a neutral tone. The words are fact, at least according to every seer we’ve met. I still don’t know how I feel about it, about him.

I loved Ambrose. There is a part of me that still loves him. But what he did…it’s not something I can just forgive.

And then there’s Nyx. He did something just as unforgivable. I don’t love him. But my heart is thumping so loudly in my chest at the sight of him that I think there is something I might be missing about him.

I want the choice.

The wolf shifters never used to get a choice in their mates.

They were always predestined, and everyone accepted that.

We accepted our mates. We procreated. Lived happy lives in our packs.

We followed the rules. Until someone from my pack rejected her mate.

She wanted a choice, and it angered the gods so much that they cursed all three magical creatures that walk this earth.

And now, there’s a rebel part of me that wants to do the same. I want the choice. I want to pick, even if it means I end up picking Ambrose. I want to decide my own future.

But that’s not what the gods want. They want to choose. They want us to dance around for them like the playthings they see us as. Nyx isn’t my mate; he just shares a bond with me because he is also destined to end the curses.

The sun begins to dip, the light pulling back from the room inch by inch. Nyx stares at me, and I stare at him. Both of us lost to our thoughts, no longer in each other’s heads.

“Lumi could still be my mate. Sometimes the prophecies are wrong. Sometimes they change. Our connection is just as strong as hers and Ambrose’s. There is no denying that. She could be my mate.”

I didn’t realize I slipped back into his head. Or did he whisper the words through our bond? Either way, I heard them.

The veil is pierced between us as he realizes I heard his words.

“What do you want to do, Lumi? It’s your choice.”

The sunlight has crept to the foot of the bed and is rapidly retracting from the room now. I watch it slowly retreat across my body until I’m cast entirely in shadow before I answer. My eyes meet his with hooded eyelids.

“Right now, I want you.”

His body goes still as stone. He understands exactly what I’m saying.

“I can’t promise you how I’ll feel tomorrow or what decision I’ll ultimately end up making.

It’s not fair to you. You’re an alpha shifter and a vampire lord; you have feelings, too.

I’ve seen them. Doing this will only intensify those feelings for both of us.

I doubt it will make it clearer if you’re my mate or if Ambrose is in my mind.

It will probably just confuse things even more,” I say.

He continues not to move, not even blink, as I speak.

I take a deep breath. “But if I don’t get at least one night with you, I know it will be the biggest regret of my life.”

His lips hit me first, crashing into me with such force that it nearly knocks the wind out of me.

It’s so fucking worth it as I fall onto my back on the bed.

Whether we are mates or not doesn’t matter in this moment as he claims my mouth with his.

My arms are pushed up over my head, and my hips are pinned by his as he kisses me desperately.

“I’d regret not getting to claim you as mine for at least one night, even if you’re not mine to claim forever.”

Shivers dance over my skin at his hungry words. I get a haunting feeling in my belly that I don’t know what it means.

“Let’s forget together,” I say out loud.

He kisses me, pushing me deeper into the soft mattress. “I won’t forget anything about tonight, love.”

My tongue pushes into his mouth, feeling the sharp point of his fangs trailing over my tongue. He fists my hair, pulling my head roughly, and my tongue slides out of his mouth.

“Careful, love, you’re playing with fire and you’re going to get bitten if you keep teasing.”

With flared eyes, I say, “What if I want to get bitten?”

He shudders, but shakes his head. Without any notice, we are across the room, my front is pressed against the window, and he’s pushed against my back, his fangs hovering over my neck.

I can see our reflection in the window as the moonlight hits us just right. One of his hands grips my hip, while the other sweeps my hair off my shoulder, exposing my neck to him. His fangs touch just the top of my skin without breaking it.

Fear pulses through me. He could kill me. As a vampire. A wolf shifter. Just a male. He could kill me in a thousand ways.

He’ll kill you. He’ll kill you. He’ll kill you…

The whispered promise of the voice that likes to play in my head at the most inconvenient times promises me. A prophecy of its own making.

But not today. He’s not killing me today. He’s protecting me.

“You don’t want me to bite you, love. If I bite you, I kill you.

Vampires don’t bite for pleasure, even if, for a moment, it would be intoxicating to you, heighten every emotion you’re currently feeling, and more.

” His fangs tease me, drawing over me. “The only time I get to bite you again is if you want me to mark you as my mate.”

“What if I want to be yours?”

He gulps as he covers his fangs with his lips, kissing me softly on the neck. He doesn’t have an answer for that. Neither do I. But then he’s kissing me so sweetly, finding a sensitive spot behind my ear that I don’t care how permanent this is or not.

I watch him in the reflection as the night continues to fade to darkness.

He can move at lightning speed, but doesn’t. Time slows with his hands as he drags a sharpened nail down the front of my shirt, slowly ripping it in half, exposing more and more of my skin.