Page 72 of Between Regrets and Promises (Between Us Trilogy #2)

MASON

Trying to give Sophie the space she needs while showing her that I’m here for her no matter what is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I want to tell her every day how much I love her, how much I want us to be together, and that we can get through this.

We can get through anything . I want to shower her with kisses and hold her while she falls asleep.

But I can’t do any of those things while she works through this, and I’m determined to respect that. But fuck me if it isn’t a struggle.

It’s been four days since she’s been home and not hearing her play her violin has been a hard reality to swallow.

When I spoke about it to Hunter, he said Lennon went through something similar after Brandon died.

She used to sing in the shower daily, and then she stopped—for months .

It broke his heart, and it’s breaking mine to see Sophie’s pain written all over her gorgeous face.

She goes to her first therapy session this afternoon, and I hope it can help her move forward. My words of encouragement can only help so much, and it’s not enough, but the selfish part of me wished it was.

“Morning,” I say when she walks into the kitchen.

Sophie’s hair is a wild mess on top of her head, but it’s cute as hell. For the past few days, she’s met me out here for breakfast before I have to leave for work. Though I want to stay home with her all day, I know that won’t help things.

“How’d you sleep?”

Sophie rubs her eyes, yawning. “Not great.” When she doesn’t continue, I don’t push for more although I want to. If she wanted me to know, she’d tell me.

“Sorry,” I say, keeping my feet planted as I lean against the counter. “Want some coffee?”

“Yes. Thanks.” I pour some into the mug before handing it to her.

She takes it, then finds a seat at the counter.

There’s never been awkward silence between us, but lately, there have been moments of not knowing what to say or how to act.

I want to scoop her up into my arms and kiss her until our lips go numb.

I get a little hope knowing she’s sleeping with my T-shirt, and without her asking, I gave her another one last night before she went to bed.

“Happy your appointment is today?” I ask as I dig into the fridge. I don’t need anything, but I need to keep my hands busy. I end up pulling out lunch meat and decide to make a sandwich for work. Someone will eat it if I don’t.

“Yes and no,” she says, again not adding more. “Just a heads-up, I’m meeting my sisters for dinner afterward. So I’ll be home a little later.”

“Okay,” I say. The tension between us is so damn thick I could cut it with a knife.

She doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t know what to say to her.

We yo-yo between things being okay to things feeling like they’ll never go back to normal again—never get back to what we once had—and that scares the living shit out of me.

“Well, I gotta head into work. Text me if you want, okay?” I tell her, leaning in and kissing her forehead. I’ve told her that for the past two days, and she hasn’t yet, but I won’t give up hope that she will eventually.

“Okay. Have a good day,” she tells me.

She’s all that’s on my mind while I work my bitch shift.

Sophie always is, but today especially since she’s seeing her therapist. I want things to go well for her so she can sort through her emotions and possibly open up about it.

Part of me understands the guilt she’s feeling and where she’s coming from, but I hate that she won’t let me in so I can help her through it.

I end up leaving work at a decent time, but when I find Serena’s car in the driveway, I wish I’d stayed later. She was over a lot while Sophie was gone, and I know she’s checking up on me, but she doesn’t need to.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company again?” I taunt the moment I walk into the living room. She has her feet propped up on the coffee table as she pages through a magazine. “Make yourself at home.” I snort.

Serena drops the magazine with a glare. “Don’t forget who bought this coffee table.”

“Don’t forget who hauled its heavy ass in here,” I retort.

“If memory serves me right, Liam did most of the lifting.” She smirks.

I toss my wallet, keys, and phone on the table before taking a seat next to her. “Memory serves you wrong.”

Serena laughs, patting my knee. “How ya holding up?”

I narrow my eyes at her, searching her face. “You don’t have to check on me,” I tell her. “Don’t you have law stuff to do? Cases to solve? Put the bad guys away?”

“Things are a little slow right now,” she admits, shrugging. “And because law school sucked me dry and my boss worked me to the bone, I have no friends, no social life, and no boyfriend.”

“So what you’re saying is, I was your first choice to hang out with?”

“My only choice. I’m pathetic, I know.” Groaning, she throws her head back against the couch and releases a slow breath.

“Nah. You just put your career in front of sorority parties and one-night stands.” I push myself up and walk toward the kitchen. “Speaking of which, you want a beer?”

“Sure. Make it a double.”

“Let’s start with one.”

I return with our drinks, then kick my feet up. “So tell me the real reason you’re here.”

“I was worried about you. After the bomb about Dalton, I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. Have you spoken to your father since then?” she asks.

“Nope. Don’t plan to either.” I take a long swig of my beer.

“This is gonna sound weird coming from me, but he really does love you. He might not show it properly, but he’s proud of you.”

My face whips around as if she’d slapped me across the cheek. “Did he pay you to say that?”

“Oh my God, shut up!” She playfully punches my shoulder. “It’s true. He’s proud of you.”

I glare, not wanting to have this argument. “Is that the only reason you came over? If so, there’s the door,” I tell her, jerking my head.

“Don’t you dare be rude to me, Mason Holt,” she says, but she’s smiling. We’ve always had a sibling type of friendship, and we grew even closer over the years. She misses her sister, though she rarely talks about her, but I don’t either. The memories are too painful.

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about him, then tell me how Sophie’s doing.”

I groan, not sure if I want to discuss that with her either.

“Oh, come on. You can tell me.” She nudges me with her elbow. “She okay?”

“I’m worried about her. Some of her behavior is similar to the way I acted after Emma’s death, and it scares me,” I tell her truthfully.

“The pulling away, not doing things that once made her happy, blaming herself. She’s put all this burden on her shoulders, and she’s gonna sink if she doesn’t learn how to let some of it go. ”

“She’s pushing you away?” she asks as if she already knows the answer.

“Yeah.” I frown, then take another drink. “Wants us to take things slow. Like sloth speed.”

“She broke up with you?”

“Not exactly, but my heart feels ripped out of my chest, nevertheless. We’re in limbo, basically. Not not together but keeping distance.”

Serena gives me a sad look, which I hate. “She’ll come back to you,” she says with so much certainty it gives me hope.

“Fuck,” I mutter. “I need her more than I want to admit and losing her would kill me. I’m afraid too much space will bring us right back into a friendship-only zone.”

“Didn’t she wait like…three years for you?” she taunts, and I roll my eyes in response. “Yeah, Liam told me all about it.”

I grunt. “Of course he did.”

“You needed that time, didn’t you? You were still punishing yourself over Emma and knew you weren’t in the right headspace to be with anyone.

Once you got your head out of your ass, you found someone who wanted you for you .

So give her time. I doubt it’ll take three years but show her she’s worth the wait. ”

“Trust me, I’m trying. I have to actively remind myself not to touch her when it’s all I want to do to prove I’m here for her. I make breakfast, and we eat across from each other, not talking, but being together. We’re on, then we’re off, and it’s making my head spin.”

“And it might have to be like that for a while. If she loves you like she says, she’s struggling with it too.”

Serena’s right but talking about this makes my chest ache.

“Okay, well enough about me. Tell me about the last guy you hooked up with?”

“Mason!” She swats at me. “You don’t ask a woman that.”

“What? I thought that’s what we were doing here. Having a girly gossip session,” I taunt.

She groans. “It’s a wonder we’re friends at all.”

Liam strolls in moments later with two large pizzas and a six-pack of beer. “Didn’t know you’d be here, or I would’ve brought more.”

Serena smacks him over the head before stealing one of his beers. “Funny. Those pizzas both for you?” she asks as he sets them down in front of us.

“It’s my cheat day,” he says proudly, hitting his stomach.

“And what were the past four years?”

“Don’t worry, Mom. I exercise plenty.” He grabs a slice, then shoves it into his big mouth.

“Oh yeah? What’re their names? Can you even remember?” Serena asks, taking a piece and lounging back on the couch.

“Does it matter if I’m never gonna see them again? Britney, Sarah, Kelly. Pick one. I’ve probably hooked up with them.” Liam shrugs, takes his beer, then plops down in the recliner.

“You’re such a pig.”

“Oink, oink,” Liam mocks around a mouthful of food.

“You two children need to be separated?” I intervene.

Liam grabs the remote and starts flipping through the channels before settling on some crime TV show.

“Do we have to watch this?” I complain. “I see enough of this shit every day.”

“That’s why you should love it,” he says. “Better than watching bounty hunter shows. It’s all fake.”

“And you think this shit isn’t?” I argue. “They glamorize it.”

“So you’re saying you don’t walk into a crime scene in slow motion with a badass song playing in the background?” Serena mocks, her eyes widening as she pokes fun at me.

We get through one episode and two pizzas before the front door swings open and Sophie walks in. She hadn’t texted me all day, and I didn’t want to bother her, so I managed to restrain myself from checking on her.

“Hey.” I smile, standing to greet her.

“Hey.” Her eyes catch on Serena and glances between us before pulling away. “What’re you guys doing?” She shifts her gaze to Liam.

“It’s pizza and beer night. You missed out,” he says.

“I can see that. My sisters and I grabbed dinner anyway.”

“Hey,” Serena chimes in.

“Hi,” Sophie says. “I’m gonna grab a bottle of water, then head to bed. I’m worn out.”

“So how’d things go?” Following her into the kitchen, I reach for her elbow, then drop my hand. She digs into the fridge before turning to face me.

“Pretty good. She specializes in emotional trauma and grief, which is perfect. Only time will tell, though.” She shrugs, then takes a drink of her water.

“That’s great to hear. How was it with your sisters?”

“It was fine, Mason,” she says sharply, then walks around me.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I remember what Serena said and try not to take her edginess personal. When I walk back into the living room, Sophie is gone, which means she already went to her room for the night.

“I’m gonna get going.” Serena stands, grabbing her bag. “Text me if you need to talk, okay?”

“Bye, Liam,” she singsongs. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Never,” he retorts.

Once Serena’s gone, Liam comes and sits next to me. “What’s up, dude?”

“God, not you too.” I roll my eyes, not having the strength to talk about it again.

“I can sense some tension,” he continues.

“Wow, you must be a psychic.”

He pierces me with his eyes, not taking my shit. “What happened?”

“Weston. Dalton. My father. Emma. Need more?” I deadpan.

“You two break up?” he asks seriously.

“No, but she wants space, so that’s what I’m giving her,” I explain, keeping it short.

“Yeah, you did that too after Emma.” He nods. “Sophie is strong. One of the strongest women I know, and for some reason, she’s crazy about you, so I have no doubt when the time is right, she’ll be ready to move forward with you again.”

I glare, not appreciating his half-ass dig.

“She’ll be okay,” he reassures me.

“Doesn’t keep me from being terrified of losing her.”

“You’re strong, too. I have no doubt you two will figure this out.”

“Thanks, man.”

“And that’s my TED talk for the night.” He waggles his brows. “I’m off to bed.”

“You’re annoying.” I roll my eyes.

After sitting in the living room for a half hour by myself, I leave to take a shower. I’m so goddamn tense, and my head is a fucking mess.

Standing under the hot stream, I jerk my dick until it’s hard.

My strokes are punishing and fast. Images of Sophie flood my mind as my head falls back on a moan.

As I hold myself up with one hand against the shower wall, I picture her cheeks hollowing when I slide my cock between her perfect lips and how sexy she’d look on her knees in front of me.

It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve fantasized about her, but the timing is all wrong. Yet I’m desperate for her touch.

I squeeze my eyes closed as I imagine her hands on me. My fingers tighten as I pick up my pace, harder and faster, and soon, I’m unraveling, releasing into my palm and moaning Sophie’s name.

With my body soaked, I stand and try to catch my breath. Fuck me.

I love her so damn much, yet I still feel like it’s not enough. I can’t lose her after everything, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her. If that means keeping my distance and giving her space, I’ll do it. But I’m not letting her walk away from me—from us .