Page 21 of Between Never and Forever

I left them all there. Those men wanted to control the narrative, and tonight, I couldn’t be bothered with much more of it. I was getting engaged to a man I didn’t want after years of acting like I did just because a record label told me to. I felt stuck, caged, bound up. Most of all, I felt like a fraud. How had I let things go for so long?

I called home, and the phone rang twice before my father answered. “What’s wrong, Keelani?” He didn’t sound sleepy at all.

“I’m sorry to be calling so late.”

“Ah, you know how it is. I’m up anyway.” He sighed into the phone. “What’s going on? You at the casino tonight?”

My father knew about the casino deal. Well, he knew what the money meant for our family, and he’d agreed to this phony engagement now too. I wanted to scream at him for it, accuse him of pushing me into something I didn’t want, but then I thought of him with my mother.

He cared for her, loved her, would do anything in his power for her.

“I just needed to check in. How’s Mom?”

He sighed. “Oh, she’s good, honey. She got on the new medication last week, you know? And having a nurse around is helping. The addendum to your contract will help too.”

I sighed. It was his way of smoothing the waters. “I didn’t want to agree to that. You’re supposed to call me and discuss these things with me.”

“Ach. You know I’m not good at that. But it’ll be fine, honey. You don’t have to marry him. Just be seen a few more places with him.”

I nodded. He was right. I didn’t say that, though. He wouldn’t get an affirmation from me tonight. The wound was too fresh. So, I changed the subject. “Mom awake with you?”

“Yeah…she’s here with me. We’re watching television.”

I had to hold back from asking to talk to her. “Did she have a good day?”

“Yeah, the new nurse is great. Her name’s Maggie. She understands your mom probably better than I can.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. “That’s good to hear.”

“It is. You did that with this Vegas thing, honey. You did great work.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe I can come visit you there for a day or two, and—”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“I’ve been good with the money, Keelani. A few slots here and there aren’t going to—”

“Mom needs you,” I reminded him.

“Right.” He sighed like he knew it was best. “She’s doing well. I want you to know that.”

I needed those words at that moment, and I blinked once as a tear ran down my face. “Can you tell her something for me so I can hear her voice, Dad?”

He cleared his throat and then I heard, “Keelani’s sleeping at her friend’s tonight, love.”

“Hm. She staying at Gabriella’s or she sneaking off to hang out with those Hardy boys?”

“Well, there’s no telling.” My father chuckled. “Want her to come home?”

“They're all good boys. Let her live.” Her words were like a knife to my heart because she didn’t remember much further, didn’t remember the turmoil we all endured, didn’t remember me past that point. There was silence for a minute and then, “Who are you on the phone with? It’s too late.”

“Just Keelani. She’s sleeping at a friend’s.” My mother just hummed that time. “She’s back to watching the television, Keelani.”

“Good,” I whispered out. “Good. I might not be able to call for a few days, but hug her for me, okay?”

“Of course I will. Get some rest, sweetie.”

I sat on that bed for way too long, staring at the wall. Missing her. Longing for a mom who hadn’t been lost in the same memories for ages now.

I took my time peeling off my dress, getting rid of my makeup, and throwing my hair up. I contemplated standing him up and staying in to read. I’d found my safe escape for years with the books I could download and get lost in. Yet tonight, I knew even they couldn’t save me. I’d have to face Dex sooner or later. So, I slipped on a maxi dress and a baseball cap before going to meet him.