Page 97 of Between Hello and Goodbye

God, what was I going to tell this super successful lady boss? That there wasa manholding me back? That for the last few months I felt like I was standing in front of two different doors, one that had a life with Asher in it and one that did not. But that I was paralyzed and couldn’t muster the courage to fully step through either one.

I glanced at a photo on Cynthia’s desk of her and her husband and their three teenage children, all dressed in snow gear. Probably in Aspen or Switzerland.

“Can I ask you a question?”

She sat back. “Of course.”

“How did you make it all work?”

Cynthia thought for a moment, then spoke deliberately. “It wasn’t easy. Sacrifices had to be made, from both my husband and me. But the way through it is to choose your North star—the one thing that means the most. For us, that was our children. Doing right by them was the most important thing and any career opportunities or disappointments arranged themselves around what they needed. And if that meant I couldn’t take a promotion when it was in front of me, then I didn’t take it. Or he didn’t. But when the time was right, I made new opportunities for myself.” She leaned forward. “But only when the time was right.”

I nodded, thinking. Wasn’t Asher my North star? Or was it my career? Or was it my new-found confidence? I felt stronger, surer of myself than I’d ever been, artistically and creatively. Did I pack all that up and leave everything I’ve been building for that dinky little island? Or did I ask Asher to leave Morgan and Kal? I could never.

I held my head in my hands. “Ugh. Being an adult isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Cynthia’s eyes narrowed. “I hear you travel to Hawaii frequently.”

“As often as I can. My boyfriend lives on Kauai.”

“Hawaii is very beautiful, Kauai especially. But very remote.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Christmas vacation begins in a couple of days. Are you planning another trip?”

“Yes, but I won’t leave until after the holiday.”

“I see.”

“Asher—the boyfriend—invited me to spend Christmas with his family but I couldn’t do it. I felt like I’d be intruding or…”

“Or making a statement about your intentions?”

“Something like that,” I admitted.

“I find it’s better sometimes to be decisive, no matter how difficult. Put your North star in front of you and don’t waver.” Cynthia sat up straight in her chair. “On that note, I’ll give you the holiday, Faith, but when you get back, I’ll expect an answer about the partnership.”

“O-okay,” I said, startled by her sudden harshness.

“Have a lovely Christmas break.”

“You too.”

I rose and then stopped at the door. “The Clio awards are going to be simulcast remotely with live ceremonies happening across the globe, right?”

“That’s correct.”

I bit my lip and decided to just throw it out there.

“I just think it’s amazing what they can do with technology these days. So much can be accomplished, even by people thousands of miles apart, working…remotely.”

Cynthia met my gaze pointedly. “It is, isn’t it? But this agency prides itself on its personal touches. It’s what sets us apart. Clients want to be face-to-face with the people who are running their business and know that their product is in good hands. The rest of the world might be moving toward remote work, but our industry—this agency—is not one of them.”

That answers that question.

She straightened some papers on her desk. “Anything else?”

“No,” I said with a tight smile. “That’s about it.”