Page 49 of Between Hello and Goodbye

“I don’t disagree.”

“And not being physical is one of my hard and fast rules. I don’t know what I’m trying to do here but Idoknow that I need to keep my hands to myself and focus on me. If I sleep with anyone, it’d be like falling off the wagon.”

“Noted,” Asher said. He shot me an arch smile. “But if youdowant to fall off the wagon, I volunteer as enabler.”

I tossed my napkin at him. “Don’t tempt me, firefighter. But I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“You’ve already given up free time for me. Why keep doing it?” I gestured at my sweaty, tired, bum-ankle-self sprawled on the bench. “I mean, I get it. I’ve never looked better…”

Asher smiled but it faded fast. He glanced out over the grass again where kids were chasing chickens and couples were eating ice cream. “When I came here four years ago…it was sort of life or death. Morgan practically demanded that I leave New York and I knew he was right.”

“Right about what?”

“It was killing me,” he said. “Iwas killing me. The drugs and booze I told you about? I made it sound like a party, but I got into it pretty heavy. My childhood wasn’t great and I’m not going to talk about that shit, but let’s just say it messed me up. Keeping the worst of it away from Morgan gave me something to do. I worked really damn hard to make sure it didn’t touch him. But when he moved here and began his own life, I was lost.”

I sat, frozen as he spoke. For once I didn’t interrupt or make a stupid joke. I wanted to reach across the table and hold his hand or hug him, but I didn’t do that either. I just listened.

“I don’t need to give you the gory details,” Asher continued, “but I was successful in my job and imploding everywhere else. Just so fucking pissed off all the time. No direction. No purpose. I came here to figure my shit out.” He looked at me seriously. “I know what that’s like, to feel like you’re at a breaking point and I guess it just means something to me if I can help you get through it.”

I swallowed hard. “That’s literally the nicest thing anyone has done for me, and Silas bought me a whole-ass house.”

Asher burst out laughing, dispelling the dark shadows lurking in his eyes, which made me feel good about myself. I laughed too and then we settled into a warmer, easier silence.

“My stuff isn’t as life or death,” I said, “but it’s a big deal. My version of a big deal.”

He nodded. “We all have our stuff. It’s all valid.”

I heaved a sigh. “In that case, I accept your very generous offer, Asher. I appreciate it more than I can say.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Friends,” I mused. “Won’t that be a new experience?”

“For you and me, both.”

I smiled, then stifled a yawn. “God, I’ve had a day.”

“Let’s get you home.”

Asher tossed our trash and ran ahead to his Jeep. He pulled up to the curb so I wouldn’t have too far to go.

Thirty minutes of Asher’s daredevil driving later, we sat out on my tiny lanai in twin chairs and watched the sun set. I wanted to ask him about everything. His childhood, his life in New York, his life here… The more Asher revealed of himself, the more I wanted to know. To go deeper beneath the surface of this iceberg man. But respecting boundaries was a skill I needed to work on, so I let my questions go and just enjoyed being with him. We talked about the easy stuff as the hours drifted. Long silences fell too, and those were just as perfect.

When it was dark, and the ocean was a stretch of black under a starry sky, my eyes began to droop. My head tilted and landed against Asher’s shoulder. For a time, I lived in that twilight space between asleep and awake, not quite either, relishing the feel of his strong muscles under my cheek and the steady rise and fall of his breath.

Eventually, Asher gently rose and carried me to bed. He sat with me as I sank down, saying nothing. Just watching over me. Vaguely, as if in a dream, I felt him find the pendant around my neck. Its weight lifted off my skin as he examined it. I was too tired to open my eyes, but somehow, Ifelthim smile as he returned it to its spot, just over my heart.

A final thought came before sleep took me. I wasn’t in danger—I’d never felt safer with a man in my life, and I’d put myself in more than one extremely compromising situation over the years. No, this thought sounded from somewhere down deep in me as Asher Mackey guarded my rest. An alarm that came straight from my heart.

Be careful with me.