Page 102 of Between Hello and Goodbye

He made a face as if he’d smelled something sour, and I scoffed.

“Yeah, exactly. And no matter who gives it a try, six months later we’re going to have this exact same conversation.”

“Yeah, well…I don’t want this conversation at all,” Asher said and resumed his pacing.

My breath caught in my chest. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”

He stopped and tore at his hair. “No, I’m just saying…fuck! Tell me what I’m supposed to do, Faith. You tell me what I’m supposed to do. I want you and I need you and I want to be with you, but—”

“I want the same thing, but they’re about to make me partner and I want that too. I’m building something and I’ve never built anything before. Nothing that’s lasted. I don’t want to just walk away.”

Asher stared a moment. My words sank in, and his face turned stony and impassive, like staring at a brick wall. “Well, I guess that’s it then.”

I shivered though the night was warm. “What do you mean?”

“I think we need a break. Figure shit out.”

“A break,” I stated, crossing my arms, hugging myself. “You mean you want to break up with me.”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe.”

I nodded, dazed, feeling as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water at me. “Sure. Fine. If that’s what you want.”

“Of course, it’s not what I fucking want. But…” He shook his head helplessly.

“No, no, I think that’s a good idea,” I said, even though it was also the last thing I wanted. “We should take a break and reevaluate. Decide what we really want.” I heaved a breath. “I’ll go.”

“Faith…” Asher’s stony façade cracked, and a flash of pain escaped. Then the moment passed, and he bottled it back up. Stayed in control. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I echoed and felt my heart split in two, right down the middle. “Goodbye, Asher.”

I turned around, my back straight, chin high, while inside I was crumbling to pieces. I waited for him to call me back, but he never did.

I supposed I’d been lying about not wanting to walk away after all, because I walked away from him.