Page 135 of Between Hello and Goodbye

I got down on my stomach and army-crawled over the mud, wedging my way under the porch that was likely home to God-knew how many spiders, worms, and other icky things. There was more space closer to the house, and I was able to sit hunched over beside Kal who was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tight. The whole place groaned and swayed against the storm, and water streamed in from between the porch slats.

“Cozy little spot you got here,” I said and tried to smile. “It’s a pretty bad storm to be out in, don’t you think?”

“I wanted to go home,” he said, his voice small. “But I can’t.”

“I know,” I said, my heart breaking for this little boy who’d lost so much. “But this house isn’t safe anymore, right?”

He nodded. “Because of the mudslides. They’re going to tear it down.”

My pulse ratcheted up at the idea that the house was about to careen down the mountain at any second.

“I can’t imagine how hard all this has been for you,” I said to Kal. “But you’ll have a new home now. One with your uncle—”

“Uncle Asher doesn’t know what to do with me. I heard him tell Miss Barnes. He can’t manage it all. He said it’s too hard.”

“He meant being without your mom and dad,” I said, gently. “That’s the hard part, Kal. The hardest thing.”

He nodded. “Yeah, it is.” Tears filled his eyes; they shone in the dimness. “I don’t want it to be so hard for him. What if he gets too tired and doesn’t want me anymore?”

“Oh, honey.” I put an arm around him. “Asher wouldnevernot want you. Never.”

“He doesn’t sleep, and he has to work a lot.”

My firefighter…

“It’s hard for him too,” I said. “Your daddy was Asher’s brother and he loved him a lot. But he loves you just as much. Can’t you feel it?”

Kal thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. I can. It feels like how mommy and daddy…” He buried his face in his arms and his little body shook with sobs.

I gathered him to me, and my tears mixed with the rainwater. I had no idea what to say. I wasn’t good at this. I’d never been in a situation this fraught with pain, where the slightest wrong word could make things a million times worse.

I closed my eyes for a second and stopped thinking. I breathed, blocked out the storm and the creaking house and just told him the truth.

“It’s a lot of changes, isn’t it?” I said, rocking Kal under the porch in the muddy filth. He nodded against me. “Change is hard. And scary. But you’re brave, Kal. You’re one of the bravest kids I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t feel brave. I feel scared.”

“That’s part of the deal. You’re scared but you do the hard stuff anyway. That’s what being brave is all about. And I’m going to tell you something else and then we really have to get out of here, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Your Uncle Asher needs you as much as you need him.”

He raised his mud-and-tear-streaked face. “He does?”

“Absolutely.” I nodded. “He’s tired all the time because he takes care of everyone but himself. But maybe if you guys take care of each other, you’ll be okay again.”

“Are you going to take care of him too?”

I swallowed. “I don’t know. It seems like Chloe…Miss Barnes is taking care of him.”

“Not anymore,” Kal said. “Tonight, Uncle Asher told her she had to leave. He said it was a mistake.”

I faced forward. “Oh.”

Footsteps sounded from the rain that was finally letting up. A flashlight beam swept over us.

“Kal? Faith?” Asher called, his voice ragged with fear and exhaustion.