Page 11 of Benedict’s Rejuvenation (Dark Patriots #5)

“What man wants a woman who was kidnapped and used as a sex slave for months? One who was used in the worst ways you can imagine, and some you can’t? A woman who will never again be able to wear a bikini, because of the scars on her body? One he might not even be able to kiss?” she asked angrily.

“If the man was put off by the abuse you suffered or the scars, then you don’t want him.

The man for you knows those things happened and will be your rock when you need it.

He’ll help slay any other monsters that exist, so you’re safe.

That man won’t give a damn what happened against your will, other than wanting to ensure you only feel desired and loved by him.

He’ll take things slow and only do what you’re comfortable with.

He’ll be proud to be seen with such a strong, resilient, gorgeous woman.

And when you’re ready, you’ll be able to do more than kiss.

As for your scars, he’ll tell you to wear your bikini with pride and will never want you to hide them from him,” I rambled.

It wasn’t the time for it, but having her this close and talking about her in a bikini and what a man who desired and loved her would do had turned me on.

My cock was hardening, despite my trying to control it.

Thank God, she wasn’t pressed up to me, or she’d know it, and run for the car screaming in terror.

God, give me strength. I want this woman so badly it hurts.

To be able to kiss her right now would be heaven.

Kensy wore an expression that was a mixture of disbelief and hope on her beautiful face. It took her a few moments to respond. “D-do you think a man would feel that way? Even knowing everything?” she whispered.

“A real man, who wanted more than to have sex with you, would. A man who loves and admires you would. Those men who only want sex or would hold anything that happened to you against you aren’t real men. They’re fucking losers,” I snarled.

Tears caught on her lashes. “Do you think so?” she whispered.

“I know so. The man who gets you will be one lucky bastard. I hope—” I cut myself off. I’d almost slipped up.

“You hope what?” she asked.

“Nothing. So I don’t want you having thoughts like that again. Or to worry that you’re keeping me away from anyone. I’m fine.”

Her expression turned into a frown. “I guess you get free time on the job to do that,” she muttered.

“What the hell? Why are you so concerned that I’m not getting laid enough?”

“Christ, Ben, I’m not an idiot. Men want sex all the time, and they don’t care much how they get it. You haven’t been around enough to have it unless you’re doing it when you’re on the job and those occasional times you stay in Virginia.”

“Men can go without for the right reason. We’re not mindless beasts,” I snapped.

“Then you’re an exception,” she fired back.

Her misconception and lumping all men into the same category pissed me off. “You wanna know the last time I had sex? I’ll tell you.”

“No!” she cried out.

She tried to put her hand over my mouth, but I raised my hands to capture hers. She was shaking her head. Even though it was nighttime, there was a full moon tonight. I swore I saw panic and pain on her face.

“Seven months. I haven’t had sex in seven months, Kensy.”

As I confessed, I knew I would probably be revealing my true feelings for her, losing her friendship, and blowing any chance of having her.

But it was better to learn and move on. Staying around waiting for something that wouldn’t happen was stupid.

If she told me she found me attractive and might be able to see us becoming more down the road, I’d be able to hang on.

However, I was a fool to stay if I wasn’t the kind of man she’d ever go for.

“Ben, oh God, I’m sorry. See. That’s what I mean. It’s not fair for you to have to do that just to… to prop up my fragile psyche. That’s it. You’re done here,” she said, then twisted free and ran off through the trees. Her action stunned me for a second or two, then I raced after her.

“Kensy, come back here. Don’t run. You’ll hurt yourself,” I yelled.

I heard her sobbing. God, my heart felt like it was being squeezed.

This talk had gone all wrong. Why hadn’t I kept my mouth shut?

Lied and told her I’d fucked a woman last night.

Instead, I told the truth, just not all of it.

The fact that if it wasn’t her, I wasn’t interested in sex.

I’d had numerous opportunities, but not one even tempted me.

I could see her ahead of me, though less clearly since we were in the trees, not the clearing we had been in. She was darting left and right, running recklessly.

“Kensington, stop. Let me explain,” I called after her, softening my tone from before.

“No!” she sobbed.

I could catch her, but I was afraid that if I sped up, she’d run faster and fall.

I kept the same pace. Luckily, she got to the trail quickly, and I could speed up.

If she fell there, there weren’t a bunch of rocks and tree limbs to fall on.

I snagged her wrist and whirled her around to face me within seconds.

As I did, I crowded her, which made her step back.

When I did it again, she stepped back again.

She was struggling to get free, but I refused to allow it.

Not until she calmed down and listened. The next thing I knew, I had her back pressed against a tree.

I loomed over her. When it registered, my first thought was that I had to be scaring her.

Looking at her face, I was astonished to see no fear.

Her eyes were wet and held fire, but no fear.

“Let the fuck go of me, Benedict Madris, or I’ll make you. You have no right to hold me. I want to go home. I’ve heard enough,” she hissed.

“I’ll let you go when you calm down and let me finish. If you still want to go home, then we will.”

“I don’t need the dirty details! Return to Virginia and tell all your women you’re theirs again. And if you have to come to see Beau for something, I won’t be here, so no worries about running into me.”

“What do you think? That I have a harem?”

My flippant remark made her growl, and then she tried to shove me away. When I didn’t move, it made her angrier.

“I should’ve known. You’re like the others.

So full of yourself, thinking that women should drop their panties at your feet.

Then you can use them, stringing them along, a dozen at a time, breaking their hearts when you move on.

One day, I hope it bites you in the ass.

I hope one comes along that you fall head over heels for, and you have no idea if she’ll give you the time of day or not. Ass!” she snapped.

“Then I can make you happy right now. Today is that day. I’m not saying I had a dozen at a time, but I’ve been a single man.

However, I’ve never led a woman on, letting her think there was a chance for more than there was.

I had fun and enjoyed sex. But it all changed when I looked into the gray eyes of an exquisite woman and knew she was it.

The one I wanted. Only I have no fucking clue if there’s a chance in hell she’ll ever want someone like me. ”

Kensy gasped and gazed at me, saying nothing.

“Kensy, say something. Don’t hold black. Tell me if you don’t see yourself ever being attracted to me. I can’t do this anymore unless I know. Please,” I whispered.

She tugged on her arms. I’d been right. Dejection and pain hit me.

I let go. Suddenly, her arms hooked around my neck, bringing my head lower.

She came up on her toes, and when our gazes were even with each other, she placed her lips against mine.

I stood frozen. Afraid to believe. Afraid to move in case it broke the spell.

Kensy tentatively moved her plump, absolutely kissable lips against mine. I responded gently by pressing back.

By doing so, she kissed me harder, and there was a touch of urgency to her movements as she pressed and moved her lips against mine.

I wasn’t sure what she wanted until her tongue slid along my lower lip, then she nipped it with her teeth before sliding it inside my mouth.

A deep groan rumbled out of me. Unable to stop myself, my tongue sought hers and twisted around it.

I got lost in kissing her—the feel of it, her scent all around me, and her taste on my tongue.

I’d never focused on how a kiss felt or affected me in the past. It was something I did if the woman wanted it, but it was to get to the main event.

Our kissing became more frenzied. I hated to stop, but we had to.

If we didn’t, I’d go too far and scare her.

It was the last thing I wanted. Besides, I had to hear the words.

With the greatest reluctance ever, I broke our connection and gently pushed her far enough away that we could see each other’s faces.

I felt dazed, hungry, and my body was raging at me. My cock was rock hard. Kensy appeared to be bemused, and there was what I thought was desire in her expression. She whimpered in protest and tried to move closer to me.

“Wait. Kensy, we’ve got to talk.”

“I’m tired of talking,” she partially whined, giving me a cute pout.

I wanted to laugh because it was so damn pretty, but I held back. We had to get the serious out of the way. When I refused to draw her close again, she sighed and nodded.

“Fine. We’ll talk, but I want to sit in the car. I’m getting cold out here.”

A slight shiver shook her body, telling me she wasn’t making it up.

Now that she mentioned it, the night had cooled off significantly since we left the house.

I stepped to the side, turned her around, and wrapped one arm around her before heading for the car.

It wasn’t far. After I got her inside it, I started the car and turned on the heat.

“Thank you. I don’t know why it feels so cold to me. This temperature is nothing compared to winter,” she said.