Page 26 of Beg the Night (Mystics of Ashora #1)

TWENTY-SIX

athena

S inner and Benedict were aghast by how tiny the town we stumbled upon was. Katherine and I, though, had grown up in a small home in the middle of nowhere. To us, this place was huge. Yeah, I had gone with my siblings to the nearby market once or twice back home, but it wasn’t exactly a town. Just a few nearby farms getting together to trade.

This? This was…this was incredible. Dozens—no— hundreds of people littered the streets, even now, when it was well after midnight. They laughed. Chatted. Drank. Shops were lit up, merchants selling fruit and meat. Strings of lights crisscrossed above the cobblestone streets, shrouding everything in a magical glow. Everything but me. The illumination only emphasized how scantily I was dressed as I was being carried through town by this man with no shirt.

So, yeah, that was great.

“This way,” Benedict said. “There’s an inn right up here.”

I clung to Sinner’s neck, trying my best to be as unassuming as possible. He’d had carried me for well over an hour without a single complaint. Yes, he was huge and muscular, but he wasn’t a damn superhuman.

“Will you stop doing that?” he hissed in my ear.

“Doing what?”

“Stop trying to hold yourself up. You insult me by assuming I can’t hold the weight of you.”

“I’m only trying to help!”

“Well, don’t.” He held me tighter. “I don’t need your help, I can manage just fine.”

Fine. I relaxed in his arms as we approached the inn. Benedict held the door open as Sinner ducked into the cozy building. Margaret and Katherine were already inside, speaking to a young woman behind a wooden counter.

“We need rooms for tonight, please. At least—at least three.”

The woman eyed us. To say we were out of sorts was an understatement. Sinner and I were barefoot, practically naked, and bleeding. Katherine and Margaret were dressed in white clothing smeared with blood. The only person who looked even remotely close to civilized was Benedict, whose white suit was covered in dirt but lacked the bloodstains the rest of us couldn’t hide.

He stepped forward and pulled money out of his pocket.

At least someone here could pay. Maybe he’d be useful for more than teleporting.

“We only have two rooms.” She sniffed. “It’s a busy night. Take it or leave it.”

Benedict rolled his eyes. “Fine. We’ll take them.”

After taking the cash, she handed over two keys. “The kitchen will be open all night if you’re hungry.” She eyed me and Sinner. “And try not to get blood everywhere, please?”

Sinner ripped a key out of Benedict’s hand, readjusted his hold on me, and stormed toward the hall flanked by several closed doors. “Mags, let’s go!”

“Where are you going?” Katherine yelled behind us. “I want to stay with my sister!”

“No!” we yelled in unison—Mags and me and even Sinner. Okay, that warmed a part of my heart that it shouldn’t have. My new friends were protective of me. Call it the power of the blood moon or whatever, but it was actually kind of nice.

“We’ll find you when we’re ready to talk,” Sinner hollered over his shoulder as he handed the key to Margaret.

Once she’d closed the door behind us, Sinner finally set me on my feet.

We let out matching sighs in unison. For the first time all evening, I let my shoulders relax. Let my guard down—just a little—as we were finally shut away from the noise of the town.

Even in our quiet journey over here, I’d been on edge. It was impossible to relax in Katherine’s presence.

“We shouldn’t trust them,” I said.

Margaret had already peeled her shoes off and was launching herself onto the large bed in the center of the room. “Your sister really hates you, huh?”

With a scoff, Sinner walked over to the far window. He looked out of it for a moment, assessing the view, before double-checking the lock and yanking the curtain closed.

“It’s safe to say we can’t trust anyone,” he said. “Anyone outside this room.”

I smiled. “Aw. You trust me?”

He arched a brow, giving me a strange look, one that unsettled my stomach. “Benedict turned on the Ministry tonight. Just like that. Why would he do that? Why now?”

“Did you have much opportunity to talk to him at the mansion?” I asked Margaret. “Or Katherine? Did they tell you anything?”

She propped herself up on her elbows. “They didn’t talk to me much, but I did catch them fighting a few times. Doesn’t seem like Katherine likes much of anybody.”

“You’d be right. I still can’t believe she tried to stop me from leaving. Is she really that delusional?”

Sinner shrugged. “There’s got to be something in it for her. Maybe Director promised her something in return for your compliance.”

“Maybe.” My chest tightened. She was my freaking sister . My family . Sinner and Margaret protected each other. They’d die for each other. Sinner had practically torn himself apart when Margaret was in danger.

Then there was Katherine. She was indifferent to my suffering. She wanted to force me into staying. The anger in her face when she was fighting me… I didn’t understand it.

But I’d figure it out. There was no way in hell I would let her trick me into working with the Ministry. Never once in the time they had us held captive did I consider it.

Burning them to the ground? Killing Director with my bare hands? Now those thoughts had crossed my mind.

The Ministry claimed to be helping mystics, when in reality they kept us chained and crippled so we’d be forced to rely on them to survive. And why hunt us all? Why scour the edges of the continent looking for us?

Power. Control.

They couldn’t win the war without us. They’d discovered that a long, long time ago. An entire army of earthly soldiers was nothing compared to a small group of tier threes.

But did the mystics even want war? I didn’t know enough to understand the consensus, but it was clear the Ministry brought violence to the gifted who were only wanting to live in peace the way we had been.

No, I would never help them. Not in a million years.

My stomach growled deeply, causing both of my companions to look my way. I put a hand over my stomach, not that it did anything to mute the sound.

“We need food,” Sinner announced. “And clothes.”

Ha. That was an understatement. I looked like a lady of the night coming in here dressed like this.

Hell, after what happened earlier tonight, I felt like one, too.

“Stay here,” he said as he strode to the door.

I glanced at Margaret, expecting her to protest, but she was sprawled out on the bed, arms and legs spread wide, with her eyes shut. Damn her for her ability to fall asleep so easily.

“Are you kidding?” I hissed. “I’m coming with you!”

He spun, glowering. “No, you’re not.”

“I am. What if you see Katherine and Benedict out there? Margaret will be fine here as long as the door is locked. I’m coming.”

Did I really need to go with him to find clothes and food? Probably not. But adrenaline still buzzed in my veins. I needed to get out of here. Needed out of this room, out of this damn inn.

“Fine,” Sinner said. “But the second we find what we need, we’re coming back.”

I scoffed. “I wasn’t planning on touring the entire town, if that’s what you thought.”

Pocketing the key, he rolled his eyes and stomped away. As he pulled the door open, his back muscles rippled. Dammit, the move was sexy. I was used to seeing Sinner without a shirt, but things felt…different now.

Even looking at him felt like a violation, like he could read my every thought.

The hallway was eerily quiet. No sign of Katherine or Benedict. My feet screamed with every step, but I bit my tongue and pushed through the pain.

“You shouldn’t be walking.” Sinner’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m perfectly capable of getting food and clothes on my own.”

“You haven’t been in the real world in months,” I reminded him. “I’m not letting you loose out there by yourself.”

He turned in the dark hallway, his body casting a shadow over me. Electricity arced between us, even though we weren’t touching. God, he was close. So close that if I reached out, I would brush against his?—

“Don’t trust me, New Girl?” The smile he gave me was the cocky, annoying one he’d graced me with a thousand times in the dungeon. The one I hated.

My chest tightened with a sensation I refused to believe was disappointment. “Back to the nicknames, are we?”

“If you’re going back to being stubborn, then yes.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled myself up to my full height. “You don’t intimidate me. Everyone else might be quaking under your stare, but not me.”

He moved even closer. “No?”

My body ignited as he drank me in, lingering on my lips, then my neck. His gaze dropped lower and lower, and memories of just hours ago flushed my entire body.

Not only was my reaction a chemical one, but a piece of me I had buried deep, deep down, a piece of me I tried very, very hard to ignore, came to life as well.

“When were you going to tell me about that little power of yours?”

All my bluster evaporated, and I squirmed. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.” I took a step back and slipped around him, only to be stopped when he shifted his massive body and extended one muscular arm.

“You’re going to tell me everything,” he said, caging me against the wall. “Every last piece of it.”

My heart took off. His words were more than a threat. More than some masculine intimidation tactic he used to get what he wanted.

He’d seen something during the claiming. Pieces of me. My past. My magic.

My magic . Was I really accepting the fact that I did, in fact, have magic?

I gritted my teeth. Some secrets couldn’t stay buried.

“Fine,” I said. “Food first. And a fucking drink.”

“You’ve eaten,” Sinner growled, breaking the silence that settled over us for the last thirty minutes. “Now start talking.”

“Wow,” I said, picking up a cold bottle of ale.

Sinner had found a spot at the back corner of the tavern next to the inn. For a crowded town, the place was surprisingly empty. Only a handful of other patrons mingled in the dining area, all of whom were on the other side of the space. Only a few people stared at our absurd appearances, but we were almost hidden in the back, and they moved on quickly.

These people had their own lives to worry about.

Taking advantage of the privacy we’d been given, Sinner pushed me to talk.

Fine. He wanted to talk? I would talk. He wanted to know how sick and twisted my life had been?

I might as well grant his wish.

I swallowed the liquid in a few gulps. “You should really get a drink,” I said. “After what we went through, you deserve it.”

Sinner scoffed. “I don’t drink.”

“Really?” I arched a brow. “That’s surprising.”

“Why do you say that?”

I shrugged. “Big, tough guy who wants everyone to be afraid of him. I don’t know. You seem like the type.”

He lowered a forearm to the small table and angled closer, the intensity of his attention searing into me. “You don’t know shit about me. You have no idea what my life was like before you met me. I’m not the guy you think I am.”

I nearly choked on my drink. “Trust me, I know more than you think.”

He stilled. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Tension thickened in the air. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He had seen pieces of my life just as I had seen pieces of his.

“You know what I mean. I saw things.”

“What. Things.”

I’d never known Sinner to be a laid-back guy, but this version of him was slightly unnerving. He nearly buzzed with anticipation, but something else, too. Fear, maybe?

Hell. After what I’d seen, I didn’t blame him.

“Tell me. Now.”

I inhaled, then forced all my nerves away with a long exhale. He has no reason to be mad at you, Athena. It wasn’t your fault you were forced to swap life-altering memories with him during the claiming .

“I saw you and Margaret. She was younger. Cute.” I smiled, unable to fight the way my heart tugged at the memory of my friend. “She’s still cute, don’t get me wrong, but she looked softer.” I shrugged. “I saw you. You were younger, too. Not nearly as strong yet. You were tied to a chair with your arms tethered behind your back.”

Darkness flashed in his eyes. He knew exactly what memory I was talking about.

“And your father was there.”

I breathed deeply again, waited for him to speak. To confirm that he knew what I meant. Anything. Instead, he stared at me, his face an emotionless mask.

“He—” I snapped my mouth shut. Sharing this information didn’t feel right, even if it was a real memory for Sinner.

The details were too personal. To speak of them felt too violating.

The Sinner who’d been tortured and bullied by his own father was not the Sinner sitting in front of me now, yet somehow, he was.

Those were the experiences that molded us into these cold, heartless creatures, weren’t they? The hell we endured shaped us into the people we’d become.

Life had turned us into warriors. And how cruel that was, to leave so many others untouched.

Not like I was a warrior myself. I was nothing. Nobody. I hadn’t endured the things that Sinner had. What I had seen…

“He what?” Sinner pushed.

I dropped my focus to the table between us, unable to hold his angry gaze. “He tortured you. Whips. Knives. Weapons I’ve never even seen. Your shadows were everywhere, but he wanted more. He wanted you to be more.”

A wicked smile grew on his face. “He wanted me to be a killer.”

“I know.” I clasped my hands in my lap. “I saw that too.”

“Don’t make me do this.” Young Sinner was nothing like the emotionless man I’d come to know. Young Sinner was softer. Kinder, even. It broke my heart. I knew what happened to soft hearts like his.

His shadows surrounded him, lacing up his body, twirling around his limbs as if they could protect him. As if they could stop him from what was about to happen.

“This is for your own good, Elijah!” Sinner’s father was tall, with messy hair like his son’s. But there was no kindness there. Only sinister intention lurking behind his gaze. And the way he looked at his son? The way he tightened the ropes around Sinner’s body until the boy screamed? That man deserved hell. Worse than hell, even.

Then there was Margaret, who was in the corner, crying.

“See what you do to your sister?” the older man yelled. “All of this is to protect her, understand? Show me your power and I won’t have to push her like this. You would rather it be you than her, wouldn’t you?”

Sinner’s eyes widened, his expression absolutely heartbroken. Because his father was not asking for a simple show of his shadow magic.

His father wanted death.

Across from Sinner sat another boy about the same age. His eyes pleaded with Sinner’s, but there was something else under his gaze, too.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness for what? I wasn’t sure. Not until a few moments later.

“Kill your friend. I know you’re capable of it.”

“I don’t want to,” Sinner cried. “I don’t want to do it!”

“It’s okay,” his friend stammered. “It’s okay, Elijah. I won’t blame you for what you have to do.”

I could practically feel the turmoil in Sinner’s blood. His friend or his sister, both innocent. Both too kind for this world.

Sinner had once been too kind for this world, too. But what happened next was the first step in turning him into the monster he was now.

His father marched over to young Margaret and gripped her arm until she screamed. He pulled a silver blade from his belt and ran it down her cheek, causing a thin trail of blood to appear. “Do it,” he ordered. “There is no way out of this. Do it or she dies, too.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sinner sobbed. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” The apology was a chant. A prayer. A mantra that I would hear in my dreams for the rest of my life.

I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry.

Shadows erupted from Sinner’s chest, wrapping around his friend’s body and squeezing until they both screamed.

And then, abruptly, the sound ceased.

And an emptiness opened up in Sinner’s gaze as he took in what he’d done.

“See?” His father said, kneeling in front of him with a disgusting smile on his face. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, my boy?”

The man across from me cleared his throat, his focus still fixed on my face. “Then you know what I’m really capable of.” His tone was dry, vacant. “And you also know I’ll do anything to protect my sister.”

I finally found the courage to stare back at him. “He was your friend,” I said softly. “That was cruel of your father. He had no right.”

With a dark chuckle, Sinner leaned back in his chair. “He had no right to do a lot of things. You saw only a glimpse of what he was capable of. But that doesn’t change what I am. If he hadn’t forced me to become a killer, someone else would have.”

A pit opened up in my stomach. “I don’t believe that.”

He surveyed me, brow furrowed, then huffed a breath and flipped the conversation entirely, putting me on the defensive.

“And what about you? When did you realize you were a killer?”

I froze. “I don’t?—”

“Your entire family. I almost can’t believe it. Katherine was right about you.”

I slapped my palm on the table, making the plates rattle. “Katherine knows nothing about me.”

“She knew you were powerful. Director, too.”

“They guessed. They never actually knew.”

Sinner stared at me silently. To be honest, the silence was worse than the barrage of questions and rude comments. It unnerved me, to be caught in his silent scrutiny. I wanted to know what he was thinking. What he thought about me now that he’d seen so much.

Did he think of me as a monster, too? Would he ever look at me the way he did when we were locked inside those barriers tonight?

“You saved Margaret’s life back there. When you used your magic to strangle Director.” His tone was a touch softer now. “I didn’t think you could really do it.”

I said nothing. He could feel my magic now, just as I could feel his, but the fight back at the mansion had been so chaotic, so fast, I didn’t realize what I was doing until Director was being strangled.

“I can’t control it,” I said. “It just happens.”

Another silence fell over us.

“Is that why you’re so afraid of accepting it?”

Heat pricked at the backs of my eyes, unwanted emotions welling inside me. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

Another beat passed. “I know.”

I choked back a sob. “I never wanted to hurt my family.”

Another.

“I know.”

When I finally looked up, Sinner was watching me, though rather than the cold glare I’d become so familiar with, his expression was soft, his eyes swimming with pity.

We sat like that until the food had grown cold and the rest of the patrons had filtered out. I didn’t say another word. Neither did he.

But I could feel it; a change in the connection between us. A fundamental alteration to what tethered us.

Rather than bitter hatred, there was an understanding now.

And as much as I hated to admit it, it was comforting.