Page 19 of Beg the Night (Mystics of Ashora #1)

NINETEEN

sinner

P owerless? What a load of shit.

I could have been convinced that I’d imagined it the first time, but as she came undone in the shower, it was unmistakable. I could feel her. Her magic. Her…whatever the hell it was that pulsed within her.

Did she know? Could she feel how close she was to exposing herself to me? Or was she oblivious to the magic? Blind to the reality that it was seeping into me, becoming part of me?

Either way, I had to keep my distance from her. I nearly asked her about it in the shower, but she was too flustered, too…damn, I don’t even know. I had fucked this all up by touching her. She hadn’t been with a man before, and I was the last one who should be touching her, tainting her. Someone like me would ruin her forever.

And the more time I spent with her, the more I didn’t want her to crumble into ruins.

That was a deep personality flaw I would be assessing later. For now, I had to clear my head. My power buzzed under my skin after being so close. Still soaked, I stormed out of the bathroom, uncaring of who saw me.

All I cared about was getting control of myself. We were too close to the end to lose it all now. Though, now that Mags was gone, I’d considered turning the entire underground to rubble, taking all of these monsters out with me.

I’d considered it for a very, very long time.

But we had two days left. After that, I could make a new plan. Find a new path. Maybe I could even get the rest of them out of here before the next blood moon, before anyone else was forced to?—

I stopped myself before the thoughts continued.

How many times would I have to learn that lesson?

I laid on my cot, soaking it in the process, and shut my eyes. I stayed like that until Athena’s presence forced my eyes open again.

She was minding her own business, yet she commanded my attention. Controlled every ounce of it.

“You’re staring,” she whispered. She dropped her boots on the floor and lay on her back with her fingers intertwined over her stomach, head turned so she could effectively glare at me.

I glared right back. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. It’s weird.”

“I’m not staring and it’s not weird. I’m watching you so I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m lying in bed doing absolutely nothing. So you can stop watching me now.”

God, she was infuriating. Even the taste of her on my lips irritated me, but it drove my power absolutely mad. I choked it back, pushed it deep, deep down, funneled away with the darkest parts of myself where I locked it up tight.

But Athena made those locks crack. Made those chambers of my soul slowly crumble, made the walls shake with a need for release.

And it was very, very dangerous.

I pulled my book from under my pillow and flipped it open. It was the same ragged paperback I’d pretended to read for months. The pages were torn and rippled at parts, but I scanned the pages anyway, memorizing the shapes of the letters. I’d never learned how to read. I wouldn’t dare ask anyone here. But at least it gave me something to look at when every part of me wanted to look at her .

My attempt to ignore her backfired within seconds.

“What’s that book you’re always reading?”

At first, I ignored her. It seemed like a reliable plan. But when she shifted in her cot, propping herself up on her side so it was clear I had her full attention, it was nearly impossible to tune her out.

I tried. I swear to fuck I did. But she waited, her gaze burning into me.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. What’s it about?”

I ignored her again for a few seconds, but she wouldn’t let it go.

“It has to be more entertaining than laying here and staring at the ceiling. Please?”

“It’s about people doing things.” I flipped a page for emphasis.

She flopped back. That was fine with me. As long as she quit pushing. “You really are an asshole, you know that?”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

I scanned each line, wishing, not for the first time, that I knew what the story was about. I imagined it was a historic record. An account of a time before the Ministry corrupted the world, ruining everything it touched. It could have been a book about peace. A book about love. It could have been about any number of things.

Maybe I would’ve told Athena what the book was about if I could have actually read it. But, then again, maybe not.

Getting close to her would only make things harder when we went our separate ways after the claiming. My powers were already seething over the thought of it, pulling at my skin with the shadows that pulsed in my veins.

But she would never be safe with me. She would never be happy if she were chained to me.

It was better for both of us if she stayed far, far away.

A soft whimper woke me, and instantly, I was ready to fight, ready to kill if I had to.

But there was no imminent threat looming over my head. The dungeon was dark, and all its occupants were still asleep.

Including the woman writhing on her cot beside me, her head slicked with sweat. Her eyebrows were drawn together, and she mumbled words that sounded like it wasn’t me.

“Athena,” I whispered.

She didn’t respond, only continued whimpering.

“Hey, wake up.” I considered tossing my book onto her cot. Surely that would wake her up. But a pull in my torso urged me to go to her, to do more than simply wake her. It was the stupid claiming causing my power to want to comfort her.

Through the connection we’d established, I could feel her. Though this wasn’t like before. This time, the desperation coursing through her was palpable. I could feel a chaos, a dark, looming energy that might have frightened me if I hadn’t felt that exact darkness every day of my life.

So I did the exact opposite of staying away from her.

Silently, I pushed myself off my bed and made my way to hers. She was curled on her side, close to falling off the edge, leaving plenty of room for me to slip in behind her.

She was oblivious to my presence at first, still jerking against visions I couldn’t see. But when I wrapped an arm around her torso and pulled her body to mine, whispering her name, she stilled. She wasn’t fully awake, but the move distanced her from the nightmare. “Athena,” I repeated. “It’s just a dream.”

Her heart thundered as she slowly made her way to consciousness.

“Sinner,” she breathed.

“Sleep. I’m right here.”

It was stupid. It was fucking idiotic. A girl like her didn’t need the likes of me anywhere near her, but it put my power at ease to think that she was safe.

Almost instantly, she relaxed against me. The summoning feeling of the darkness that slept inside of her started to fade. I kept my arm wrapped tightly around her, my hand splayed across her stomach. Sleep.

She didn’t speak again. Didn’t ask any stupid questions. Didn’t respond with a quick remark or give me shit about crawling into her bed.

She just adjusted her body against me until she was comfortable.

And for what felt like the first time in a long, long time, I slept soundly.