Page 18 of Beg the Night (Mystics of Ashora #1)

EIGHTEEN

athena

E verything hurt and I was dying.

Okay, maybe I was still alive, but honestly, dying might be preferable to this pain.

And whatever softness I imagined Sinner showing me last night was long gone. We’d been training for two hours now. He’d woken me up and forced me to eat. We’d been doing this ever since.

I needed to work my muscles and gain strength so the next time the cowardly guards who worked for Director decided to impale me—his words, not mine—I could fight them off.

“You’re not even trying,” he complained.

I wiped the sweat from my brow. “I can assure you, I am trying. But thank you for that constructive feedback.”

I turned my back to him and gulped in one lungful of air after another. God, he wasn’t even fazed by this. Since I’d arrived, he’d done nothing but lie in bed and read that damn book, yet he blocked punch after punch like I was nothing more than a pesky bug.

Or maybe I wasn’t any stronger than a damn fly. No. I refused to believe that. I’d hold tight to my dignity and keep trying.

But it wasn’t looking good.

“These guards are powerful, and they’ve been training their magic for years. You have to be smarter than them, Athena.”

Athena. Every time he used my name, it sent a chill through my body. But I shoved my reaction down and turned to face him.

“I was stabbed in the leg yesterday, remember? Why are you insisting on turning me into a soldier today?”

“You were healed, weren’t you? This is for your own good. Now, try again.”

Yeah, I was healed. I vaguely remember the warmth of the healer, the same warmth I felt the first time.

And again, something about them seemed so familiar. After Sinner laid me in my bed, I’d had the dream again, the same one I had after the first time I’d been healed. That the person healing me was my sister, not a mystic from the Ministry.

But then I woke up, and any soft memories of sisterly love vanished.

Sinner and I worked in silence after that, other than when he’d laugh at my weak hits. For hours, he pushed me. He didn’t ask me about my power, and I didn’t ask him about what happened last night with Director.

If he thought he’d discovered my alleged power, he lied about it. Why? If Margaret’s life was on the line and he really had sensed something, wouldn’t he be itching to spill what he knew?

I hoped with all that I had that Margaret was far, far away from the Ministry’s grasp. But deep down, I knew better. Director would never let her escape when Sinner was still here. Not when she could be used to bend him to the Ministry’s will.

So, I numbed my mind, focusing on the physical pain. I let my muscles ache, let my bones scream at me until I couldn’t hear my own thoughts.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Time morphed into one long stream of eating and sleeping. Director did not come back. The guards did not return to torture me. That was the tiny perk in this ongoing hell.

Sinner barely spoke to me outside of our training sessions. After a few days, my muscles started to get used to his tactics.

But it wasn’t like that would ever be enough. Time was not on our side.

I had three days. Three days until the claiming ceremony. Three days to decide whether I’d really go through with it.

The sinking feeling in my gut answered that for me. I was in too deep. This was happening.

I sat on the edge of my bed and ate the dinner Sinner had kindly brought me. I’d argued at first, but like he’d been doing since I woke after being stabbed, he reminded me that I needed all the energy I could muster. We never knew what the Ministry would do next. Return with their blades? Pump sex drugs into the dungeon again? Yeah, eating this strange meal would definitely help in that situation. Not.

For reasons unknown, the air in the dungeon was thicker, more tense than usual. Everyone was on edge. As if we were all very, very aware of the ticking clock.

Sinner included.

I wanted to ask him about his magic. I wanted details about the extent of his abilities, what he was really capable of. But I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him about anything meaningful after our night in that cell. I couldn’t look at him without seeing the way his lips had been pressed to my thigh, without feeling his hands on my body. God, even thinking about it made me blush. I was constantly very grateful that this dungeon offered very little sunlight.

Sitting alone on my bed seemed like a much better idea.

When I wasn’t sleeping or thinking about the doom looming over my head, I thought about Margaret. I missed her. I missed her so much that I actually hated myself a little for letting her worm her way into my cold heart.

She had to be okay. My sister would have upheld her side of the bargain. Right? Chest tight, I set my plate on the floor and fell backward, staring up at the ceiling with a sigh. I used to think I could trust Katherine, but doubt was slowly infiltrating my thoughts. The reality was, I didn’t trust anybody.

I hadn’t for a very, very long time.

Katherine had been my friend once. Really. But throughout our teenage years, we hadn’t gotten along. The four of us siblings had always had our issues, but more so Katherine and me. We fought. My parents had been the type to sit back and watch the chaos rip us apart rather than step in, but I was fine with it.

I was a fighter. Always prepared. Always ready for conflict.

Katherine, though? She was sneaky. She wasn’t the type to get angry and roll her sleeves up. No, she was the type to harbor a grudge for months. Years, even. One time, I’d accidentally ruined her favorite sweater, and she refused to speak to me—even look at me—for an entire winter.

When she disappeared, I assumed she was dead. It was easier that way. Though after seeing her—gifted with powers I never knew she possessed and working with the Ministry—I questioned everything. And now she, too, thought I was harboring some secret magic.

Was she right? Did she know more than she was letting on? Had she left so she could find the Ministry? Could she have really believed in what they were doing? Could she have known about the magic I possessed? Maybe she’d seen it, sensed it, and so she’d left to find the Ministry so she could turn me in.

My heart raced as I stared at the underground ceiling, my blood hot with betrayal.

My only living family member.

No. I was getting ahead of myself. Surely my sister felt some sort of loyalty toward me. I had to believe that Margaret was somewhere safe, being taken care of, being protected. At least she wasn’t here.

Margaret was safe for now. And soon, Sinner would be out of here.

I would be, too.

The dungeon seemed so quiet now. Almost…empty. Now that everyone believed that Sinner and I were together, no one even looked in my direction. Mags would be proud. The last time I saw her, I was still terrified to even turn my back for a second.

If she were here, she would tell me to take a fucking shower.

I had traded the ripped ball gown for a pair of pants and an oversized T-shirt the night we were tossed back in here, but I still hadn’t showered. I was no longer afraid that one of these guys would assault me. No, now the idea of being alone was too painful to bear. Lying in bed was all I had energy for these days.

But as silence grew in the dungeon, I knew this might be my only shot. The showers would be empty, so I might as well get it over with.

So I shoved myself up off my creaking cot and made my way to the showers for the third time since being kidnapped.

They were completely empty, just as I expected. I padded through the dimly lit space to the shower at the end—the one I liked the most—and pulled the curtain closed behind me.

I didn’t leave my bra and underwear on this time. Either I had ultimately decided to give no shits, or my confidence had grown to a slightly stupid level. At this point, I didn’t bother questioning myself.

Instead, I closed my eyes and savored the way the hot water slid down my body. I didn’t even realize how cold I was until the steam filled my lungs and the heat brought my limbs back to life.

See, Athena? You’re alive. You’re breathing. You’re even showering. Things could be much, much worse.

I repeated those words to myself as I washed my hair, then my body, scrubbing my thighs extra hard in hopes that the memory of Sinner would swirl down the drain with the suds. I didn’t want to think about his body against mine.

But no matter how hard I tried to drown those images, there was no forgetting that we would be mating in three days.

Three freaking days.

There had to be more to the claiming, facets unseen that lingered between Sinner and me. Because ever since the other night, I could feel him. I thought I was losing my mind at first, but my chest actually fluttered when he was around. My body ignited, my senses alert to his every move.

It had to be his power. There was no other explanation. That had to have been what I felt the other night, too, because it sure as hell wasn’t mine.

I had no power. I was nothing. Nobody.

And these feelings for him? The desire to be touched by him? The need for more than just that touch? They were part of his magic, too.

Because I hated him. And he hated me. End of story.

Footsteps approached, followed by low male voices. I froze. Surely they’d seen me come in here. Surely they wouldn’t try anything stupid.

They continued to talk as they entered, at least four voices that I didn’t recognize. Then Sinner’s joined in the conversation, sending an unwanted spark of excitement up my spine.

One curtain after another was dragged along its rod, the metal rings scraping in a way that made me cringe, then one after another, showers turned on.

Okay, maybe they didn’t know I was here.

I wasn’t sure which was worse.

How come every time I stepped into the shower, shit went down?

I held completely still, afraid of what a group of men would do if they stumbled upon a wet, naked woman all alone.

As I held my breath, they chattered on, clearly oblivious to my presence. “Seven fucking months I’ve been in here,” one of them said. “If I’d known there weren’t any women for me to claim with, I never would have agreed to this.”

Another guy laughed. “Did they really lure you here by telling you you’d get to have sex?”

“Hey! It sounded much more convincing than that, okay!”

Laughter echoed off the dank walls and ceiling.

The noise drowned out the sound of my curtain being eased back.

My heart stuttered painfully as Sinner entered.

If I hadn’t been holding my breath, I would have screamed. But before I could force the air from my lungs, Sinner shut the curtain and stepped under the stream of hot water, one hand cuffing my neck and the other covering my mouth, stifling any scream I could have mustered.

“Scream and they’ll all come running, wanting a look. Stay quiet, be patient, and they’ll leave in a few minutes.” He said into my ear, his words barely audible over the falling water.

As the fear that gripped me when his big figure appeared finally dissipated and my body slumped, he removed his hand from my mouth. Instead of backing up, he splayed both hands on the wall behind me, caging me in.

“You have a serious problem with showers! And privacy!” I crossed my arms over my chest and squeezed my thighs together. Did he not have any respect for boundaries? Any class? I was completely naked!

Water beaded off his thick blond hair and rolled down his bare chest. He was shirtless—of course—his sculpted torso larger than life this close.

He bowed his head, water clinging to his lashes, and slid his attention down, down?—

A laugh rumbled out of one of the other guys. He made a joke about the Ministry, then another man asked Sinner a question.

His eyes continued to wander my naked body.

For the first time since my visitors arrived, the room was silent save for the water pounding against the stone floor.

I shoved him lightly in the chest. “Answer them!” I mouthed.

As if pulling himself out of a fucking trance, Sinner blinked. “Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Why else would I be here?”

His words echoed through my bones. He was a quiet man, he really was, but when he spoke, he commanded the whole room.

Shower curtains and all.

I didn’t take my eyes off him. Not like there was anywhere to look, really. Aside from the very small space between us and his bare chest, it was just us.

“Two days and you’re out of here,” one of them said. “Are you really going through with this?”

Sinner brought one hand to my bare waist, letting his fingers brush the skin there.

I sucked in a breath. Damn my body for reacting this way. Get a grip, Athena. He was just waiting until the shower was over and then leaving.

He only acted like this because he was a possessive asshole. He’d committed to claim with me. That meant he didn’t want to share. Nothing personal.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” he answered as he zeroed in on the apex of my thighs.

In response, my muscles clenched tighter. Dammit.

He knew exactly what I had been thinking about before they entered. I was sure.

Because it’s what he’d been thinking about, too. I could see it in the way he drank me in. I could feel it in the tiny tug below my belly button.

When he grasped my wrists, I didn’t resist. Nor did I when he pulled them away from my chest.

I was at his mercy, and I didn’t bother to fight him. I was a damn fool.

I waited for him to laugh or make a crude joke and leave. He did hate me, after all. It would be on-brand. But he did neither of those things.

He took a long breath, and I swear to god I heard his chest rattle.

The water was hot, but the cool air against my skin made my nipples peak. That, and, well, the few inches that separated Sinner’s body from mine.

And when Sinner’s massive hands caressed my body, I bit my lip to keep from making any noise. He clutched the curve of my waist with one hand, while cupping my breast with the other, teasing my nipple with his thumb.

Chest rising and falling, breaths coming fast, I watched his face, desperate for his reaction. I wanted to see how intoxicating it was for him to see my naked body like this.

Because I was sure as hell drunk on his touch.

As he palmed my breasts, hot water ricocheting off his body, his friends remained completely oblivious. This was very wrong.

We should stop.

I should stop him.

But before I could find the wherewithal to do so, he lowered himself to his knees, and all rational thoughts fled my mind. He was tall enough that like this, his face was level with my naval.

If I’d felt vulnerable before, it was nothing compared to the sensation rippling through me when he was so close to my naked body.

Though he’d had his head between my thighs before, I’d still been wearing clothing. Hell, I’d even been wearing underwear, even if it hadn’t been entirely in its place.

Here? I was fully exposed.

Nobody had ever seen me this way before.

And he knew it.

“Stay quiet,” he whispered against my belly.

That was the freaking plan.

“Let me take care of this.”

When he pulled my right knee up and over his shoulder, I nearly cried out. And when he kissed my lower belly, just below my belly button, my legs shook.

He held me up, his strong hands at my waist, supporting me, as he trailed his lips down my hip, moving from my stomach to my thigh.

God, I was so completely at his mercy.

I was so distracted by his hands that it took a moment to realize his friends had fallen silent again.

“Trust me,” he muttered against my flesh, “she’ll be willing.”

Arrogant asshole. I lifted my head off the wall and scowled at him.

He didn’t notice. He was too busy diving into my center. He licked me slowly at first, making my body jerk.

With a hand splayed over my abdomen, he did it again. His movements remained slow, restrained. He was torturous. Delicate, almost. He devoured my core with his tongue, sending me into a state that could only be described as euphoric. Each lick lit up my insides, and my body quaked. Thank god my leg was still draped over his shoulder. Otherwise, I would have fallen straight to the ground.

And then he added a finger.

Instantly, the building pressure sent me soaring. In seconds, I was ready to hurdle over the edge. But I was jarred from the sensation by the sound of shower curtains being pulled open.

His friends were turning their showers off and moving toward the stash of clean towels outside our stall.

Sinner didn’t stop. As if completely unbothered, unconcerned about being caught, he curled his finger inside me and licked my apex again and again.

“You haven’t had sex in so long, you’ve probably forgotten how it works,” one of the guys said.

Sinner paused and smiled against my inner thigh until I shivered. “I think I can figure it out.”

“Be careful,” one of the other men grunted. “Who knows how many guys got a piece of that while she was outside. She doesn’t exactly look like a virgin.”

Another scoffed. “That girl is insane! Of course she’s a virgin! Who would come near a mystic like that?”

“An alleged mystic.”

Heat rushed to my face and all the desire that had built washed down the drain.

Who the hell did they think they were?

I expected Sinner to lash out, to get pissed and attack the guy for his brash statement. But when I looked down at him and his water-covered lashes, he was still smiling. Smiling. He had never looked more dangerous.

“She’s mine, now, boys,” he said. And my entire fucking heart tightened. “Nobody else gets to touch her.”

And then he returned to his feast, devouring me until I was ready to scream his name, ready to let it echo off every stone wall.

My heart raced in my ears, but I was still vaguely aware of the guys making jokes as they shuffled out.

Then, blessedly, the footsteps were gone. The voices too.

Until it was only us.

And when my pleasure reached its peak, I did my best to suppress the scream that ripped from my lips.

I was sure I failed.

Sinner didn’t try to shush me that time. What was the point? We were the only ones left in the shower rooms, our breaths filling the small space around us like a privacy blanket.

“You still have issues with personal space,” I added, trying my best to regain some semblance of control over the situation.

He rose from his knees without taking his eyes off me, the water beating down on him as he loomed over me. “You think I couldn’t feel you? Your need practically screamed at me.”

My heart lurched. “It did not.”

“It did. How else would I know you were in here?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but words escaped me.

“Right,” he sneered. “This claiming is already changing us. It started the second we were both in agreement. Once it’s over, I’ll go back to staying as far away as humanly possible. But for right now, I have to handle these things when they arise because my power literally does not let me ignore it.”

I grimaced at his words, wishing I could escape him. That stung. It didn’t surprise me that he’d want to go back to avoiding me, but at some point during the last few days, I’d begun to think—stupidly—that something had changed between us.

God, I was growing soft.

“Fine by me,” I retorted, forcing my expression to morph into one of apathy. “And next time you feel the need to join me in my shower,” I leaned in so my lips almost brushed his, “don’t.”

I pushed past him and grabbed a towel. Yes, he’d seen me naked, but now that the rush of the moment had passed, vulnerability was creeping back in. Heat, confusion, and an annoying level of pain swarmed my mind, making me dizzy. Yes, this was all part of the claiming. That made sense.

But why couldn’t my stupid heart understand that? What was happening between us wasn’t personal. But it was our ticket out of here, so it had to happen.

As I dried off, I could feel his attention on my back. “What?” I snapped.

When he didn’t respond, I spun to face him. He watched me, his eyebrows pulled together, his fists clenched at his sides, his every muscle coiled tight.

He shook his head and straightened to his full height. “Nothing. Not important.” With that, he stormed out of the showers, finally leaving me in peace.

If only peace was what I felt.