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Star wouldn't answer Killian's scry. The King of Hell didn't have a scry phone—a slice of enchanted crystal ball set in a leather case to resemble a cell phone—but he did have a letaq—a Demon wristband used for communication. It didn't have a screen, so I thought scry phones were superior. But I might be biased since Raza, my husband and King of Unseelie, invented them. Anyway, Star was obviously pouting.

“We're going to have to—” I started to say.

Killian cut me off with a, “No. Don't say it, Seren.”

“So, you want to track Demons without the help of their king and his Sayadi?”

“Yeah, why not? We tried to notify him. We've done our due diligence. And they're not his Sayadi anymore. They've upgraded from hunters to king's guards. They're probably rusty.”

“Killian.” I took his hand and pulled him away from the group. “I'm sorry about Anu.”

“Babe, it's not Anu who's bothering me.”

I lifted my brows.

“Well, his nudging you two together bothers me, but it's Star who pissed me off. He called you a prison, babe. That was a dick thing to say.”

“Yeah, it was. But imagine you're him. One guy against five. You don't want a part of this, but your god denies you a way out. And then one of the five tells you that you'll never add up. Never be accepted. You practically said; Go to hell, asshole.”

Killian huffed a sigh. “I get that. That's why I've been cool with him up until tonight. But that shit he said was unacceptable, Seren.”

“We all say terrible things when we're upset. Especially if we're backed into a corner.”

“Seren, I'm tired of this. It was supposed to be you, me, Tiernan, Raza, and Daxon. That's it. That's what I signed up for. Then we got tricked into Sever. We accepted him, but that was pushing things. It was a huge strain on all of us. I can't handle Astaroth. He's so . . . so . . .”

“Astarothy?” I grinned.

“I was gonna say smug, but yeah, that works. It's as if he wants people to dislike him.”

“He's a Demon. Star doesn't see things like you and I. Just like the Fey are different. I had to learn to look deeper with Fairies. Now, I have to do the same with Angels and Demons. I can't put my human biases on their behavior.”

“Seren, I've seen you get pissed at Angels and Demons.”

“Yes, of course. I'm still human.” I winked at Kill. “I can't help getting mad. But when I calm down, I try to see things from their perspective. It doesn't always help, but I know it's the right thing to do.”

Killian shook his head. “I was harsh with Star, but it was the honest truth. We can't accept him, Seren. It's too much. As it is, you have to schedule time to be with us. Your husbands! Your children!” He threw his hands up in the air. “We can't keep dividing you up. How many men are going to get a piece of you? Huh? How many? When does this fucking end? Because, babe, this is not what I agreed to.”

My breath caught. Killian was right. And justified. And everything else you can say about someone who is the goody. Making me the baddie. I was as wrong as you can get. Did I want to add another man to our family? No. I mean, what the actual fuck was I thinking? This wasn't a reality show. I wasn't Mormon. Or whatever the female version of Mormon was. Maybe Wiccan? Whatever. It was insane.

And yet.

I felt them. The possibility of them. The effervescent love inside me that reached for children on the horizon. I could almost see them—little girls or boys with bright green eyes and sardonic grins. The Princes and Princesses of Hell. Anu himself had woven the fantasy into my head, and I couldn't dispel it. It had slid deep, moving down to dig roots into my heart. Like that fucking mangrove tree. I knew if I gave up on Star, I had to give up on them, and a mother didn't give up on her children.

“Seren?” Killian's hand went to my cheek. “Shit, don't do that.” He swiped at my cheeks. “Fuck, babe. One thing I love about you is that you don't use the waterworks against us. Which means you must feel awful to let it flow now.” He pulled me into his arms and sighed as he crumpled around me. “I know you're lost in this too. I get that. But, baby, we're supposed to be in this together. Hold on to me. Stop pushing me away.”

“I know, Kill.” I fisted my hands in his shirt. “I'm trying. Anu got me with the kids. You called it. I can't stop thinking about the children I'm supposed to have. The ones who won't be born if I don't . . .”

“All right, that's bullshit.” Killian put me at arm's length and stared me down. “Future kids don't count, Seren. That's crap. So they won't be born? So what? They're never going to miss life, and you wouldn't miss them if Anu hadn't said anything. And have you considered that he's manipulating you?”

“Yes. I'm very familiar with being manipulated by the Gods, Killian. We both are. Still, the children .”

“What about the children we already have? What about Rowan? Our girl? Huh? How much time is she going to get with you if you have to jump over to Hell every week? And then if you have children with Star, Rowan will lose even more time.”

“I'm not marrying him tomorrow, Kill. And those children may not be born for years. Star still has to secure Hell, and I think I'd like for our kids to grow up before I have more.”

“Yeah, all right. Then Star can wait too.”

“Not if he's getting tortured by Anu's nudging. He can't rule like that, much less deal with Demons who are testing his limits.” I waved a hand at the shut door. Kill and I had gone into a bedroom to scry the Demon King. “Star needs to know that yet another one of his people is going against his orders. He needs to be a part of this. And he needs—”

“Yeah, I know, Twilight. As a man who loves you, I know what Star needs. But I will not let him have it. Not without a fight.” He crossed his beefy arms and leveled his snake stare at me.

The children.

I knew my husband well enough to back off when he dug in like this. So, I nodded and laid my hand on his wrist. “I love you. You know I want you to be happy. I'm not going to run off and marry the Demon King, Blair. We'll deal with this together.”

When Killian's arms unfolded, I felt like the most horrid wife in the world. His expression was so loving, so relieved, and there I was, manipulating him, as the Gods had manipulated me. Shit rolls downhill, right?

“It's been a long time since you called me Blair.” Kill grinned as he took my hand.

“You understand me like no one else, Kill. Our bond is unique, built on more than just magic and the blessing of a goddess. We forged this together. You're the only one who's a child of both Gods like me.”

“Blessed by Danu and charged to protect you by Anu.” Killian smirked. “You're damn straight we're special. Come here, Twilight.”

Killian pulled me into a kiss, and I put all the love I bore him into it. Even so, my stomach soured. Would every kiss feel like a deception now?