Page 25

Star sat down beside me with his iced coffee.

I looked at him and blurted, “I need to talk to you.”

He sipped his drink, then nodded. “All right.”

I glanced around the office.

“Outside, perhaps?” he offered.

“Yes. I think so.” I stood up. “Ravee, is there an alley out back or somewhere we can have a private conversation?”

“With me?” Her eyes went wide.

“No, King Astaroth and I need to speak.”

“Oh.” She grinned. “Sure. We've got a vegetable garden out back. This way.”

“Stay here,” Star said to his guards. “We're just going into the garden for a minute.”

The Demons didn't look happy about their king leaving unattended, but they nodded and went back to scarfing down appetizers.

Star and I followed Ravee out of the office and around a corner. She opened a door and waved us past. Outside was a small garden full of wood-framed beds of herbs and vegetables. There wasn't anywhere to sit. This was a working garden, not one for pleasure. But that didn't matter. I just needed the privacy.

“Thank you, Ravee,” I said.

“No problem. I'm gonna go get some fresh clothes. Wearing that sorceress's clothing is making my skin crawl.” Ravee closed the door behind us.

Then I was alone with Star. That fact hit me first. The privacy. The things we could do with it. I mentally shook myself. This was just another sign that I was doing the right thing. Or was I? Was it wrong to confess to Star before I told my husbands? Oh, well. We were out there. I had to tell him something important, and I couldn't think of anything else.

“What is it, Seren?” Star frowned at my expression.

“I have a confession to make. I was going to wait until after we finished the mission, but I can't do that to you. You need to know now.”

Translation: the guilt is killing me. I once heard someone say that guilt was the lowest vibration on the energy scale. I didn't truly understand that until now. I felt low. The lowest of low.

“What do I need to know?” Star asked.

All right, Seren, just say it! I worked myself up, then said, “Anu didn't deny my request.”

Star went still.

“When I asked him to remove the compulsion, he agreed.”

“He agreed?”

“Yes.”

“But I feel the same.”

“That's because he convinced me to change my mind.”

Star's voice went soft. And not in a good way, “You changed your mind?”

“I'm so sorry. He told me about the children, and I couldn't . . .” I bit my lip. “Fuck. He said they wouldn't be born if we didn't . . .”

“Get together?”

“I think it needs to be more than a sexual thing,” I muttered.

“Oh, I know exactly what it needs to be.”

“You're furious.”

“Wouldn't you be?”

“Oh, yeah. I'd be pissed.”

“You shouldn't have made that decision without me.”

“I know. I'm so sorry. I feel horrible about it. But he was talking about the kids and how his nudging was giving us an excuse to—”

“An excuse?!”

“Yes. An excuse to be together despite my husbands being against it. He said he could withdraw his influence, but we'd still feel this attraction. It wasn't his doing. Not entirely. He just amped it up a bit.”

“A bit?” Star cursed and spun away from me. “A bit?!” He spun back. “I can't think of anyone sexually but you! I try to fuck someone and your face fills my head! You have consumed my existence, Seren!”

“I didn't—”

“No, you didn't do this to me, but you could have stopped it.”

“Not entirely. That's what I'm trying to say.”

“Not entirely, but enough that I wouldn't be losing my mind over you. I could actually take another woman to bed. There would be a chance for me to move on!”

“Star.”

“No!” He pointed at me. “You have made yourself complicit in this. In my torture!”

“I'm so sorry, Star. It was the children. The thought—”

“Shut up!”

I shut up.

“How dare you use children against me? You know how badly I want a child. I know you know, Seren.”

“Yes. I know.”

“So, don't use that to justify what you did.”

“All right. Fine. I'm complicit. Go ahead and blame me.”

“That's it?”

“I already apologized. What else do you want?”

“I want you to fix it!” Star hissed. “Call him here. Tell him to remove the spell.”

“All right.” I held up my hands. “Anu! Anu, I made a mistake. Please, remove your influence.”

Nothing happened. Anu didn't show up. I felt no different. Star remained livid.

“Anu! Please! Come on. I shouldn't have made that decision without Star. He wants to be free of it. Please, remove your magic.”

More nothing.

I tried again and again. I was respectful, then I was firm. I even begged. I knew he was there. Watching. But when Anu didn't want to show himself, nothing could make him appear.

I stared at Star. “I don't know why he'd deny us now. It doesn't make any sense.”

He shook his head and stormed back into the restaurant.

“Fuck me,” I whispered. “What have I done?”