Page 79 of Bang

"And no one expects you."

"But you just said—"

"No. What Isaidwas, if you leave early because of whatever happens tonight, we're gonna have problems."

"You meanI'mgonna have problems."

"Youandme." I paused. "And someone else." And that someone was my sister, who was happier than I'd ever seen her. And hell ifI'dbe the one to destroy her happiness in favor of my own.

Cami shook her head. "I don't believe you. Here we are, having some sort of moment, and you threaten my job."

"Notthisjob."

"Fine. My replacement job."

"Which you won't need if you stick with this one."

"That's a little heavy-handed, don't you think?"

"Maybe," I admitted. "And yet…" Deliberately, I softened my tone. "…you're not letting go."

It was no lie.Even now, her hands were still laced around the back of my neck. Our pelvises were still touching. And unless those pajama pants of hers were a lot thicker than they looked, she knew exactly how much I wanted her, even now.

She bit her lip. "Yeah, well… You're not letting go either."

She was right. I wasn't.

In spite of the tension, she felt perfect in my arms, like she'd belonged there from the beginning.

Forget letting go.

What Iwantedto do was to yank her close and kiss her hot and heavy. I wanted to elicit that sound again, not just once, but over and over as I discovered what she liked and gave her more than she thought she could handle.

I was a good lover.I knew this, just like I knew that even though I had a talent for satisfying women in bed, I left them wanting in other ways.

The physical stuff, it was easy. But real intimacy, I didn't want itorneed it. And once again, I didn't want to lie to her.

"And just to be clear," I said, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

"Good, because I’m not looking for a boyfriend either. And even if I were…" She shook her head. "Never mind."

The old "never-mind" thing.It was an age-old trick, one I never fell for. And yet, in what was becoming a bad habit, I said the opposite of what I'd planned. "No. Tell me."

She hesitated. "Well, I'm just saying, I don't think we'd make such a great couple."

"Agreed."

I meant it, too.Cami was light-hearted and sweet. But me? There was no lightness in my heart, and I had no sweetness to share beyond the scattered crumbs I gave my own family.

But hey, I was happy with who I was, and didn't plan on changing any time soon.

When Cami said nothing in reply, I added, "If you want, you can call it a one-time thing."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "You mean, like to get it out of our systems?"

"If that's the way you want to look at it."

She was a silent for a long, lingering moment. But already, I knew what she was going to say. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in the warmth of her body.