Page 133 of Bang

Another guy might've asked her what she meant. But me – I didn't need to ask.I already knew.

The next time she reached up for the box, I didn't bother asking permission. I strode into her room and joined her in the closet.

With a sigh, she stepped aside, letting me grab it from the top shelf. The thing was heavy – not for me, but surely for her.

As I set the box on the floor beside us, I said, "What's in there, anyway?"

"Rocks."

I gave the box another glance. "You're joking."

"Yeah. I am. It's Christmas presents for my family."

I almost smiled. "So you got them rocks?"

"No, but as long as we're talking, there's something you should know."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Everyone – and I meaneveryone– has problems. But there's no need to spread the misery. And yeah, maybe you got a raw deal with your family. And yeah, maybe you've spent too many years picking up the slack. But don't you think it's time for you to move on?"

This wasn't what I'd come for. My jaw clenched as I replied, "From what?"

"From whatever baggage you've got stored in that heart of yours."

Her words found their mark.If she only knew.Still, I gave her a stiff smile. "Haven't you heard? I don't have one."

"Yeah, well goodie for you." She sighed in obvious irritation. "So what did you want, anyway?"

I wanted her.

I wanted to pull her into my arms and feel her softness against my hardness, to clutch her tight and pretend to be somebody else, somebody who didn't have a lump of coal where their heart should be.

But I wasn't that guy. Hell, I didn't evenwantto be that guy. Guys like that were too vulnerable, too weak, too unable to protect those they cared about.

And God help me, I cared abouther.

So instead, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a plain white envelope – no card, no sentiment, nothing but her name – firstandlast, just to make sure there was no misunderstanding.

I held out the envelope between us. "Your bonus."

She frowned. "What?"

"Your Christmas bonus," I said. "I figured you'd want it before you left."

She was still frowning. "I didn't know I'd be getting a bonus."

"Yeah, and I didn't know I'd be getting a lecture." And with that, I pushed the envelope closer. "Now take it. I've got things to do."

Finally, she reached out took it from my hand. "So…should I open it now, or…?"

"It's a bonus, not a gift." And with that, I stooped down and picked up the box, the one containing gifts for her family.

She gave me a worried glance. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"I'm loading it up."

"You don't need to. I can get it."