Page 156 of Bang

Still, their taste held little enjoyment as I wondered what Cami was doing, and if she'd ever be back.

And if shedidn'tcome back?

What then?

What would I do without her?

Not Willow.

But me.

It was a good question. But as far as the answer, I had no idea.

Later that night, I was sitting in the family room with Chase, not saying much of anything as I stared into the fire, wondering what the next year would bring.

At this rate, nothing good.

Already, Chase and I had put the presents under the tree and had eaten the cookies set out for Santa.

Now, we were sitting in silence – me because I was too lost in my own thoughts and Chase because he was more somber than I'd seen him in a while.

But then, he roused himself to say, "So what'd the nanny get you?"

My gaze shifted to the small plastic bag – the one she'd slapped into my hand on the roadside. I hadn't opened it. Instead, I'd set it under the Christmas tree with plans to wait – maybe for Christmas morning, or maybe for when she returned.

If she returned.

I looked back to Chase and said, "She's got a name, you know."

"Yeah. Cami the Nanny, right?" He grinned. "Is it just me, or does that sound like a porno flick?"

My jaw clenched. "It's just you."

"It is not," he laughed. "Or you wouldn’t be looking so pissed off."

"Yeah, I'm pissed," I said. "I don't like the way you said it."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"I just don't."

"Right," he laughed. "So, are you gonna get a new one?"

"A new what?"

"A new nanny," he said. "The wayIhear it, the old one's not coming back."

"What?" I felt the blood drain from my face. "Where'd you hear that?"

"At Brody's place, when I picked up Willow. Brody and Arden were talking in the entryway."

"In front of Willow?"

"Nah, she was packing up the cookies. But you're gonna have to tell her sooner or later." He gave me a look. "I mean, if the nanny leaves, she's gonna notice."

My mouth tightened. "Stop calling her the nanny."

"Why?" he laughed.