Page 49 of Balancing Act (Soulmate #1)

Jamie nodded and placed a quick kiss on her lips. “Great. I’ll be a few more minutes.” Jamie gestured to her wet hair. “Curly hair is a little high maintenance.”

Beth dressed quietly, the soft cotton of her sweater brushing against her skin as she padded toward the kitchen.

Freezing rain continued to tap against the windows, steady and rhythmic, like a constant whisper from the storm.

Outside, the rain turned everything to glass, shimmering and delicate. But inside, there was only warmth.

The coffee maker gurgled and sputtered, and a few moments later, the smell of coffee wafted through the kitchen.

As she pulled down two mugs, one for her and one for Jamie, she couldn’t help but think about how much she liked that feeling.

She glanced up at Jamie’s footsteps on the stairs in time to catch her make a little hop from the last stair.

“Coffee?” Beth slid a steaming mug across the counter. She grinned, noticing that Jamie had snagged one of her favorite oversized T-shirts to wear. Jamie could steal all of her T-shirts for all she cared.

“God, yes,” Jamie said, taking the mug from Beth and wandering over to the window, peering out at the storm. “Man, it’s nasty out. I guess I really am stuck here till it passes. Oh, darn.” She flashed a grin over her shoulder, her playful tone putting Beth at ease.

Jamie settled into the seat across from her, and Beth’s pulse quickened. She searched Jamie’s face for any signs of discomfort or hesitation, but where she expected to see some, she saw calmness and ease instead. Jamie took a slow sip from her mug, eyes meeting Beth’s over the mug’s rim.

“So,” Jamie started, setting her cup down with a soft thud. “Girlfriend, huh?”

The word rolled off Jamie’s lips with a teasing edge, but it hit Beth squarely in the chest. She tried to mentally will away the heat rising in her cheeks. The word felt so superficial and juvenile, but somehow it held everything she’d been aching for.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, trying to gather her thoughts. “I don’t need a label, Jamie,” she said, careful but firm. “I just need to know what this is for you. I promised myself I was done with gray areas.”

There. She had laid it out in the open between them.

Her fingers tightened around her mug as she watched Jamie’s expression shift, those deep brown eyes studying her.

Beth tried desperately to read Jamie’s expression, to gauge what she might be thinking.

Had she messed everything up? Was she pushing too hard, too soon?

Jamie’s brow furrowed as she cradled her mug, processing Beth’s words. “To me, this is serious. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it.” Her lips curved into a small smile, dimples showing. “I’ve never been known to half-ass anything.”

Okay—that surprised her. Of all the responses from Jamie, she hadn’t expected that. Maybe they were more on the same page than Beth thought.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not looking for anything outside of this. It’s just you. I’m sorry if I led you to think otherwise.” Jamie’s eyes were soft and open, and Beth could feel their pull—the way she could get lost in them if she wasn’t careful.

She picked up her coffee mug, then set it down again, fingers tightening around the handle. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, glancing at Jamie. Finally, she took a deep breath.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Jamie.”

“I do.” Jamie reached her hand across the counter, taking Beth’s in hers. “I could have been more straightforward with you about what I meant by slow.” She took a sip from her mug. “You’ve been so patient with me, more patient than I deserve.”

“We all deserve patience. But...” She cautiously glanced at Jamie before asking the question she had been wondering for weeks. “I guess I’m still unsure what slow means to you.”

Jamie took a long sip as she gathered her thoughts. “That’s fair,” she said, her mug clinking softly as she set it down on the counter. “I didn’t want to rush into anything physical and blur my feelings. I’ve never done this before—dated anyone. Never seriously. But I’m very serious about you.”

“But this whole thing between us started with us being physical,” Beth said softly.

“Exactly. And that made it really hard for me to pull apart my feelings for you and dissect what was tied to the night we met, and what was me starting to fall—” She paused, and Beth noted her abrupt pivot.

“Me starting to feel like I wanted a relationship with you. Come on, Beth. You have this whole life—a career, a family, friends who adore you. Sometimes, I don’t know where I’d fit in. ”

That caught her off guard. How could Jamie not see what felt so clear to her?

“I’m a washed-up athlete with health baggage and no career,” Jamie said, her voice soft. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m someone you could be proud to call yours.”

Beth felt her heart ache at Jamie’s words, a mixture of tenderness and frustration twisting inside her. She squeezed Jamie’s hand, wanting to erase her doubts and fears. How could Jamie not see herself the way Beth saw her?

“You’re already someone I’m proud of. Exactly as you are.”

Jamie’s eyes picked up the soft light revealing the insecurity that still clearly ran so deeply through her.

“I mean it,” Beth continued. “You might not see it, but you’re strong and resilient.

You’ve built this life for yourself after everything you’ve been through and did it on your own terms. You didn’t let the past define you, and that’s—” She paused, gathering her words carefully.

“That’s something I admire about you. It’s one of the things that made me fall for you in the first place. ”

Jamie’s expression softened as Beth’s words sunk in.

She opened her mouth, then hesitated, glancing down as though the intensity of Beth’s gaze was too much to bear.

“It’s just—I’ve spent so long just me, you know?

I got good at protecting myself. Telling myself I didn’t need anyone.

And then you showed up, and it’s like you have this way of slipping through the cracks. ”

She took a moment before responding, considering things.

“I know you’ve gotten really good at protecting yourself, Jamie.

You’ve had to. But with me, you don’t have to keep your guard up.

I’m not here to hurt you or demand more than you’re ready for.

I want to be someone you can lean on. And if that means going slow while you let me in, I can do that.

I want you to know that you don’t have to do everything alone.

” She reached across the counter, her fingers brushing against Jamie’s jaw, lifting her face so their eyes met again.

“I can already tell you’re letting some of your walls down, but maybe it’s time to let a few more of them go, too. ”

Jamie swallowed, looking to her for reassurance, for permission to believe that this was real.

“It’s okay to trust this, to trust me.” Beth shook her head.

“I don’t need you to be perfect or have your whole life figured out.

Honestly, I don’t have my life as figured out as you think I do.

But for me, knowing we’re committed, having a label is like an anchor.

It tells me that I don’t have to wonder if you’ll be here next month or next year.

It gives me the peace of mind to lean in, to trust that I can build my life around this relationship and that I’m not going to be left wondering where I stand.

” She paused, glancing down at their joined hands.

“I’ve done ambiguous before, and it doesn’t work for me.

I want to feel like I’m on solid ground with you. ”

A silence settled between them, the weight of Beth’s words filling the space. Jamie’s hand tightened around Beth’s. She could feel the tension in Jamie’s fingers, the way she was clinging to this moment.

“But what if I can’t be what you need?” Jamie’s voice was hoarse, her vulnerability raw, exposed. “What if we go all in and it’s too much for me, or you, or—I don’t know, Beth.”

Beth’s heart broke a little, hearing the fear in Jamie’s voice, the way it trembled with uncertainty that went beyond their relationship.

She could see now that this hesitation wasn’t about her—it was about Jamie’s past, the pain she’d endured, the battles she’d fought.

And maybe the most brutal war of all was letting herself believe she deserved something good that would last.

“Jamie,” Beth said, her voice gentle but unwavering.

“I know you’re scared. But isn’t that the risk with anything in life?

The possibility of failing? You never know unless you let yourself go after what you want.

I’m not asking you to be anyone other than who you are.

I just want to know that you’re in this with me, that we want the same things. ”

Jamie exhaled a long, shaky breath that seemed to carry everything she’d been holding in. She glanced down at their hands, her thumb brushing over Beth’s knuckles in a soft, almost absent-minded gesture.

“I’m in this,” she said finally. “I want this more than I’ve probably communicated to you. I just need a little time before I’m ready to label anything.”

“I can give you time, I’m not going anywhere.” She squeezed Jamie’s hand, letting her know she meant it.

Jamie’s shoulders relaxed a little, her fingers still intertwined with Beth’s, as if holding on to her was making all this easier. “Thank you,” she whispered graciously.

The trust in Jamie’s voice hit her. This was a tentative step forward, a willingness to let Beth in, even if only a little at a time.

“I know conversations like these aren’t that fun or sexy, but this is helping me understand you better. For me, I’m someone who likes commitment. I find a lot of comfort in labels.” She paused, searching Jamie’s face for any flicker of resistance, but Jamie’s expression stayed open, listening.