Page 13 of Balancing Act (Soulmate #1)

FIVE

BETH

“Mom!” Lily’s voice broke through her consciousness. “We’re going to be late!” A door slammed, and Beth groaned as she blinked sleep from her eyes.

Beth slid into her favorite sweatshirt and jeans before tying her hair into a low ponytail. It was just a gym drop-off, but there was always the off chance she might see Jamie. She wanted to at least come across as presentable.

Lily was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs with her gym bag slung over her shoulder. To Beth’s surprise, the smell of fresh coffee greeted her, and she noticed a travel mug in Lily’s hands.

“You made me coffee?” Beth tried to hide her bewilderment as she took the mug from Lily. She took a sip. It was exactly how she liked it—with a splash of oat milk and a little sweet.

“Yeah. Whatever. It’s not a big deal. Here,” Lily said hurriedly, thrusting Beth’s car keys into her hand and rolling her eyes. “Let’s go! I want to be the first person there today,” she said, ushering Beth out of the house.

When are we not the first to arrive at the training center? Beth thought. She didn’t mind, though, because getting there early meant a higher likelihood of chatting with Jamie while Lily did her warm-up, and Beth was definitely interested in that.

The autumn air nipped at them as they climbed into the car. Lily seized the aux cord, plugged her phone in, and within seconds, Lily’s favorite angsty pop music filled the space. Beth hummed along to the familiar tune as they drove through the misty morning grayness to PGTC.

“You’re getting better, you know,” Lily said, fiddling with the volume before turning it down completely.

Beth blinked, caught off guard by her daughter’s words. It was rare for Lily to initiate small talk these days, and Beth was hard-pressed to recall a recent time when Lily had openly complimented her.

“What?” she said dumbly, unsure if she had heard Lily correctly.

“I know early mornings aren’t your thing,” Lily continued, “but you’re getting better at them. Today was the first time in like ten days that I had to wake you up.” Lily smirked as she kicked her feet up on the dashboard.

Beth’s eyes flickered with a hint of surprise, a rare moment of connection piercing their usual strain as Lily’s words resonated. A cautious smile edged across her face, acknowledging this unexpected observation shared by her daughter.

“Thanks for noticing,” she said, and her smile widened.

Lily turned the music back up without acknowledgment, but it was replaced by a ringing sound from Lily’s phone. Beth glanced at the clock, even though she didn’t need to. Sarah was consistent—a creature of habit. 6a.m. on the dot, just like every morning.

“Hi, Mom!” Her daughter’s bubbly voice greeted Sarah as she came into view in the palm of Lily’s hand.

Sarah, mid-Peloton workout (as usual), propped her phone up to talk. A faint sheen of sweat glistened on her skin as she pedaled, and Beth couldn’t help the involuntary way seeing Sarah like that—all glowing and glossy—made her need to press her thighs together as she told herself to get a grip .

“Hey, sweetie!” Sarah said, panting a little as she peddled. “How’s my favorite gymnast today?”

Sarah’s connection with Lily was easy, almost fluid-like—the kind of bond Beth often found herself overthinking. Maybe that was just Sarah: confident, effortless, and always one step ahead.

“I better be your favorite gymnast,” Lily retorted, poking her tongue out.

“Promise you won’t forget Mama and me after you go off and win a bunch of Olympic gold medals.” Sarah beamed as she pedaled, and Lily continued chatting.

The bond between Sarah and Lily had always seemed easy.

They shared the same fiery spirit and a relentless push toward their goals, both brimming with that same intense ambition and drive.

Neither ever let obstacles deter them. Beth could see Sarah’s best traits in their daughter, and she absolutely loved them.

But while she might love the parallels between her daughter and Sarah, this shared intensity and likeness meant Beth couldn’t help but question her own role in the family, and those questions rarely left her feeling steady as a mother.

She shook her head.

Parenthood isn’t a competition , she reminded herself. So why did it always feel like one?

“Still feeling good about, you know... everything?” Sarah asked tentatively, and Beth could tell she was trying to gauge Lily’s mood. “Feeling strong?”

“Yup!”

“I’m so proud of you, Lils.” Sarah spoke between breaths as she continued to pedal. “Your mama and I both are.”

Beth pulled into the parking lot of PGTC. “Sar, we gotta go,” she said, leaning into view of the camera. “We just pulled into the parking lot.”

“Love you, Mom!”

“Love you, Lilypad! Crush it today. Bye, B!” Sarah said, and Beth caught the small wink she threw at her before the screen went dark.

A swirl of brunette curls caught Beth’s eye as Jamie exited the gym and hurried toward the white Sprinter van Beth had guessed was hers.

Like most days, Jamie was in her signature joggers, quarter zip, and brightly colored sneakers, which Beth had learned was her preferred gym attire.

She let her eyes linger on Jamie for a moment.

“Earth to Mom!?” Lily said frustratedly.

“Sorry, love, what was that?” Beth said, turning to look at Lily.

“Are you going to come watch some of my practice later?” she asked again.

“Y-yeah. Absolutely.” Beth turned her attention back on Lily as she tried to play it cool.

First, Lily had willingly initiated a conversation with her to compliment her.

Now, Lily was asking Beth specifically to come watch her practice.

She didn’t want to misspeak or say anything to ruin the leaps and bounds they had come in the last few weeks, so she said nothing beyond what she had already verbalized.

They sat for a moment. With her hand on the door handle, Lily lingered like she wanted to say more to Beth, but only silence stretched between them.

Why was it so hard for Beth to organize her thoughts sometimes? There was so much she wanted to say.

Finally, Lily said, “I should get inside.” She pulled the door handle. “Love you, Mama.”

“Love you.”

Lily’s words landed on her softly. Mama.

She had always been Mama to Lily, but she knew there would come a day when Lily would most likely grow out of that term, and Beth would just be Mom.

Her mind swirled with everything she wanted to say— I’m so proud of you , and I don’t know how to connect with you, but I’m trying , and Your drive inspires me .

I’m sorry all swirled around her mind, just out of reach, but the moment passed.

The passenger door slammed shut, and Lily’s blonde ponytail swayed as she disappeared into the building.

There was a soft tapping at her window, and Beth turned to see Jamie. Jamie gave her that warm smile that Beth wanted to sink into completely. She plastered on her signature no worries smile as she rolled the window down.

“Hey, stranger,” Jamie said, leaning into the open window. “Lily really is committed to being the first one here every day, isn’t she?”

“Yes,” she answered, with an unsteady laugh. “Which means I, too, am committed. I can’t wait until she’s sixteen and can drive. I won’t know what to do with all my free time,” Beth joked and, God, could she be any lamer? But if Jamie thought it, it didn’t show.

“I was like that, too, when I was her age. It drove my dad nuts. He’d always insist that we swing by Wilson’s Diner on the way to the gym so he could pick up his coffee and a bagel.”

Her attention drifted to Jamie’s lips as they moved, forming words Beth was no longer following.

She remembered how soft they had been, how tender they had been against her neck, tracing a warm path down to her collarbone.

Focus, Beth , she scolded herself, trying to anchor her thoughts back to the present.

“Wilson’s, right?” Beth said distractedly.

She looked into Jamie’s eyes, pools of brown and amber swirling as they caught the autumn morning light. Her hands lingered on the edge of Beth’s car door. She wanted to reach up and brush her fingers against Jamie’s hands, to feel the touch of their skin against each other. It would be so easy to.

“You okay?” Jamie asked, her smile falling into genuine concern.

“Ask me something easier.” She laughed, glancing away.

Jamie’s gaze, however, never left her. Waiting, not trying to fill the silence with platitudes or small talk.

Finally, Beth sighed, her fingers gripping the steering wheel before falling to her lap.

“It’s nothing. I’m just—” She stopped, shaking her head. “It’s stupid.”

“I doubt that. You know, the cool thing about us being friends now is that I’m here if you ever need to talk.”

Feeling the weight of Jamie’s patient stare, Beth hesitated. Her instinct was to brush it off, to offer some lighthearted quip and move on. But her question lingered, and she realized Jamie wasn’t going anywhere.

She shifted in her seat. “It’s nothing. I’m just—” Her fingers traced the curve of the steering wheel as if the words were buried somewhere in the grooves of the leather.

“Lily doesn’t really call me ‘Mama’ anymore.

” A weird sort of strangled laugh-sob escaped her, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

She looked back at Jamie, her brown eyes so full of understanding.

“She calls both me and Sarah ‘Mom’ now, for the most part. I don’t know when it started, but I swear I blinked, and she’s all grown up. ”

Jamie’s brows furrowed slightly—not in a way that felt pitying, more like she was absorbing Beth’s words. “That must be hard,” she said after a moment.

“It is sometimes.” Beth swallowed the lump rising in her throat. “I mean, I know it’s normal. I knew she wouldn’t call me ‘Mama’ forever, and I shouldn’t—” She stopped herself, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t care, but here we are.” She forced a smile.