Page 11 of Balancing Act (Soulmate #1)

FOUR

JAMIE

“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” Amanda said, without looking up from the paperwork she was poring over. “And trust me, you’ve had some bad ones.”

“Better or worse than stealing your brother’s truck to go car surfing when we were fifteen?” Jamie grinned as the memory played fresh in her mind.

“I still consider that a good idea, just an incredibly dumb one. Why do you feel like you need to talk to Kendall Varner, of all people?”

Leaning against the doorframe, Jamie surveyed the gym below through the expansive window, her gaze resting on Lily as she prepared for her afternoon session.

Positioned slightly apart from Amanda’s cluster of level nine and ten gymnasts, Lily stretched alone.

That morning’s one-on-one had been taxing, marking one of Jamie’s most testing moments as a coach.

Despite her best efforts, connecting with Lily had grown increasingly difficult, and Jamie found the frustration unsettling. It wasn’t the challenge that bothered her—she was no stranger to those. Rather, a nagging sensation, a deeper unease she couldn’t quite identify.

The problem was, Lily was talented—incredibly talented—but she was all gas all the time, relying on sheer power to execute her routines and approach.

To Jamie, it was evident Lily knew she could nail any move, yet her movements seemed mechanical, lacking the spark of passion that ignites true greatness in an athlete.

The kind of fire that transforms the extraordinary into an Olympian.

It was this absence that had honed Jamie’s resolve.

She was determined to reignite that fire in Lily. This girl had too much talent to waste.

“Something is going on with Lily,” Jamie said. “Have you noticed that?” Amanda finally looked up at her but didn’t say anything. “As much as it pains me to say this, I think talking to Kendall would be a good place to start. After all, she was her coach and worked with her daily.”

Kendall, as in Kendall Varner—Olympic gold medalist, Jamie’s former teammate and best friend, daughter of the US Gymnastics Federation National Team head coach, and Jamie’s first love.

.. well, sort of. She held back a grimace as she mentally slammed the lid shut on the feelings threatening to break out of their box.

“I’m sure that will go well,” Amanda said, sarcasm lacing her words. “What are you going to do? Show up at her gym and say, ‘Hey, I know it’s been seven years since you’ve seen or heard from me, but can you give me all the details on your old gymnast?’”

“I figured that would be a good place to start. Worst case, I’ll blame everything on you.” She smiled at her friend, who finally gave Jamie her full attention. “It’s worked for me so far in life. You make an excellent fall guy.”

Amanda shot her a look that was more playful than annoyed.

“Jamie, you know I love you, and I fully understand why you walked away from everything when you did, but you weren’t here to deal with all the shit that came after.

You pissed a lot of people off, and not only did you piss Kendall off, but you hurt her, too. ”

“You think she’s still mad about all that?”

“Are you ever going to tell me what really happened between you two?”

No. Never. Jamie could barely handle reliving the most embarrassing moment of her life in the privacy of her mind, let alone out loud with another person. That was a memory that stayed locked in the vault. The fact Amanda was asking meant that Kendall hadn’t said anything either.

“When did you get so nosey?” Jamie deflected, and Amanda glared at her.

“Around the time my best friend tried to lie to me to pull off one of the most infamous disappearing acts in modern sports history,” she said dryly.

“You vanished on everyone right before the Olympics. I mean, shit, you remember how I took it, and I had a heads-up and the whole story, which very few people knew?—”

“And I’d like to keep it like that.” Jamie’s words came out more sternly than she’d intended.

She rubbed her hands over her face. Jamie had known she’d have to face tough conversations like this eventually.

You don’t do what she did and not deserve to get chewed out.

It was the price she knew she would have to pay after deciding to end her gymnastics career the way she did—abruptly and without warning.

But she had her reasons, and they were no one’s business but her own.

“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do”—Amanda totally was, and they both knew it—“but I wouldn’t try to talk to Kendall.

What’s the point of stirring all that up if you’re going back to Oregon in a few months?

Is it really worth it to open that can of worms?

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kendall has nothing nice to say to you. ”

“God, I hate it when you make perfect sense. When did you get so wise?”

“When I realized you had no intention of wising up. One of us needed to.”

Amanda contemplated Jamie thoughtfully. “Can I offer some more wisdom?” She knew Amanda was going to, even if she declined. She had always been so perceptive, even when they were kids. Often, she would know what Jamie needed to hear days before Jamie even considered the thought.

“I think your problem is less about Lily and more about you. Think of the mindset you were in coming out of your injury. Think of the trust rebuilding you had to put in with Varner. Lily is doing that with an entirely new coach at an entirely new gym. You two are strangers. I’ve been watching you for the last few weeks, and while you’re very good with her on the technical stuff, have you made any effort to get to know Lily as a person?

” She leaned back in her chair, then laced her fingers together and rested them behind her head, leaning back into the stretch.

“Amanda, it’s already October. I’m only here until the end of the year, so I don’t think it makes sense to focus my efforts there.

I’m here to help her get her skill execution back to where it must be to do well at the January Glacial Cup.

That’s not a lot of time. We really should be focusing on skill development. ”

“I disagree,” Amanda said simply.

“Of course you do,” Jamie muttered under her breath. “Am I, like, in trouble? This is starting to feel very boss-employee relationship to me, and I want to remind you that I own half this gym.”

“Not in trouble, but as the head coach here, I reserve the right to provide my coaching staff with feedback, and my feedback for you is to work on trust-building with Lily.” Amanda pulled her hair tie out, releasing the waterfall of flaming red hair over her shoulders.

“God, that’s the best feeling, isn’t it?

” she mused, as she raked her fingers through her hair.

“Mm-hmm,” Jamie agreed, already lost in thought.

Amanda was right, as infuriatingly perfect as that was.

She had this knack for never being wrong, which grated on Jamie more than she cared to admit.

She had consciously avoided trying to form any real connection with Lily, rationalizing that there wasn’t much point given she’d be off back to Oregon in such a short amount of time.

But deep down, she knew it was more than that.

Years of keeping people at arm’s length had left her questioning her ability to forge trust and allow someone else to rely on her.

She had never wanted that level of responsibility to someone, not after everything she’d been through.

Then there was the complicated matter of Beth and their one-night stand, which she couldn’t stop thinking about, no matter how hard she tried. And she had tried her hardest.

She tried to box away those feelings for good, to label the incident as something that happened between consenting adults—nothing weird and nothing more.

Beth had been clear about that the evening at the ice cream shop in town, and Jamie clung to that solid line in the sand.

But as she watched Lily stretch below, the complexity of her emotions loomed.

“I can hear you brooding from here. What’s going on in your mind?” Amanda cooed lovingly, but in all seriousness.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s never nothing.”

“Are you sure I’m the right person for this?

” Jamie blurted out, before her brain could catch up with her mouth.

“To work so closely with Lily? Wouldn’t it be beneficial for you to work with her one-on-one more than me?

” Jamie couldn’t help the way her insecurities flooded her tone.

She didn’t like to be bad at things. She was an achiever but didn’t feel like she was doing well at this. Maybe coaching wasn’t in her nature.

“Nope. You’re the best person for the job,” Amanda said, without further explanation. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks for this impromptu performance review,” Jamie jabbed. She looked out at the gymnasts below as they sat in contemplative silence a few moments longer before she spoke again. “I need you to cover for me Friday morning. I have some stuff to take care of downtown.”

“I forgot how annoyingly cryptic you like to be. Everything is okay, right?”

Jamie registered the concern that laced Amanda’s words. “Everything is fine,” she reassured her friend. “Just getting some routine blood work done.”

“Okay. But I swear to God, Jamie, if you’re going to see Kendall, I will personally be the one to kick your ass. I know where you park your van at night. Remember that!”

Friday morning arrived quickly, and Jamie was running late. Jamie was never late.

“Last call for passengers heading to Seattle!” the automated voice blared through the terminal speakers, as Jamie hauled ass to the boat, her powerful strides barely keeping up.

She made it, grinning apologetically at the deckhand as she stepped onto the boat and pushed her way into the interior passenger cabin.