Page 80 of Badd Ass
“What kinda porn do you watch? Vanilla shit? Straight fucking? Or are you into kinky shit like bukkake?”
Xavier shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Bukkake? Is that an anime thing?”
Zane choked on his laughter, while Bax guffawed loudly.
“No, kiddo, it’s not an anime thing.” Bax tapped at his phone, selected a video, and handed it to Xavier. “Thatis bukkake.”
Xavier watched, his expression growing increasingly disgusted. “What the…? What’s the purpose of that? I genuinely do not understand.”
Bax laughed again. “Different strokes for different folks. Or, in this case, a lot strokes for one person.” He took the phone back. “Not your thing, huh?”
Xavier shook his head in renewed disgust. “I could have gone my whole life without seeing that. No, Baxter, that is assuredlynotmy thing.”
“Whatisyour thing, then?” Bax asked. “I’m just curious.”
“Do I have to have athing? Maybe I’m not into any of that stuff at all.” Xavier said this while pretending to be absorbed in picking at a string on his jeans.
“So you’re not intoanything?” Bax pushed. “No porn, nothing? Not even, like,Playboy?”
Xavier sighed. “No, if you must know. Obviously you’re all aware that I’m a virgin. I’m keeping all of that for when I find the right person to share those things with.” His voice strengthened, and he met Bax’s curious gaze. “It’s a conscious choice, I should point out. I’ve had plenty of…offers, both here and at school. I’ve even been on a few dates, but I’m just not willing to invest my time in someone I’m not immediately drawn to. And I don’t believe that pornography is an accurate representation of sexual relations, nor are the practices depicted in pornography healthy mentally or physically, nor are they emotionally satisfying. It’s a drug, if you ask me. Harmless fun at first, but increasingly damaging and addicting. My roommate last year was a prime example.”
Bax blinked at Xavier for a moment. “Wow. Um, well…that’s your opinion, I guess.”
“I’m certainly not attempting to foist my opinion on you, Baxter. It’s just my feelings on the subject, based on my observance of my roommate’s struggles with pornography addiction.”
“Pornography addiction? Really?” Bax demanded, skeptical.
“Yes, really,” Xavier answered. “It was all he did. He skipped class to watch it, flaked out on studying for exams, ditched his friends. He always had other excuses, but that’s what he was doing. It negatively affected his life, and he was both unwilling and unable to curtail his usage of it, which by any definition is addiction, only mental rather than chemical.”
“Huh.” Bax stuffed his phone in his pocket as Zane pulled up outside a warehouse. “That’s not me, though. It’s just something I enjoy, and I don’t see the harm in it.”
He slid out of the cab and slammed the door, tugging the hood of his sweatshirt up against the icy early morning wind as he trudged to the entrance of the warehouse with an armload of supplies.
I patted Xavier’s chest. “I think you made him think harder than he cares to, little brother.”
Xavier searched me. “Am I wrong?”
I shook my head. “No, not at all. You’ve got a great point, actually, which is something I realized myself. I was never as into it as Bax, but when I started seeing Claire, it became something I just…didn’t want anymore.”
“Even though you don’t see her all the time?”
I nodded. “That’s definitely part of it. Things…build up, I guess, and then when we see each other it’s more intense.” I patted him again. “Don’t ever let anyone give you shit about your choice, Xavier. I think it’s admirable.”
He sighed. “It’s hard sometimes. I mean, it can be extremely difficult to not feel embarrassed about still being a virgin, especially having overly-virile sex machines for brothers.” He rolled his shoulders, rubbing his chest where’d I’d patted him, leaning as far away from me as he could get; he disliked physical contact, and we’d been squeezed together for several minutes now. “I need air.”
He got out and shut the door, joining Bax in the warehouse, leaving Lucian and me in the truck with Zane.
I glanced at Lucian. “You got anything to add, Luce?”
Lucian lifted a shoulder. “Nope.” And then he was out of the truck too.
“Heavy conversation for six in the morning,” Zane said, shutting off the truck.
“Yeah, well, if you didn’t drag us out of bed at five-fucking-thirty…”
“You’re really not a morning person, are you?” Zane asked, laughing.
We both got out and hauled supplies into the warehouse.