Page 24 of Ava Stargazer (Planet Xai #2)

“Vox?” Sai’s gentle thoughts came to him from far away, as if she was walking the ship, calling his name.

Vox was in the medical bay with Rhutg, scanning Rhutg’s arm in an attempt to see if the tremors caused by their mental use was leaving any lasting physical damage. The med bay felt empty after being mostly stripped of its supplies, but the basics were still intact in case of emergency. Rhutg had his arm in the scanner, and they were mid scan when he heard Sai’s call.

“Yes?” Both himself and Rhutg were able to connect with Sai, and they exchanged a glance at the worried undercurrent to her thoughts.

Her mental notes dripped in concern as she relayed, “It’s Ava. Zeed took her while we were painting and...”

Vox stumbled back. “Took?”

Sai’s mental thoughts were hesitant. “She was nervous, that’s why I am letting you know. I can’t reach her really well through the ship’s walls without getting closer.”

“Thank you for letting me know, Sai.” Vox sent a mental pulse of warmth through to Sai before turning his attention away.

Vox slammed his hands on the counter. What are his plans? He got up to leave. To confront.

“Stop, Vox.”

“Why?”

Rhutg connected with him, his reach farther than Vox’s. Rhutg shared now the link he could find, pressing it on Vox’s mind. “Zeed is in the hallway outside navigation. He is blocking everyone out, but I can still see his intent. He is propositioning her. She is nervous but not afraid.”

“What?” Vox’s hearts pounded faster as his insides boiled, and his eyes turned feral. He reached out mentally himself, but stopped after Rhutg pushed on his mind again.

“You cannot interrupt, Vox. It is not our way to keep a mate through brute force. Especially as you have not officially marked her yet.”

Rage, hot and heavy, coated Vox’s vision. “I didn’t want to force her. That’s why ... it was too much at once. I didn’t want to put more pressure on her mind by marking her.”

Rhutg flatly stared back at him, taking his arm off the scanner. The medical screen protested his movement with an error code as he shifted away. “You are as good as my brother, so I will be frank with you in this moment. In some ways you have used Ava’s fragility and ignorance as an excuse to make decisions for her. Shelter her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you have such little faith in Ava? That she would not choose you? I don’t. Come, scan my arm again. You can talk with her later after she refuses Zeed.”

Vox didn’t move, his entire body stiff. “You expect me to just sit here? Shit, Rhutg. Would you be able to ... ?”

Rhutg fixed him with another blank stare. “Yes. And others did approach Violie. And she turned them down. As one destined to be my mate should.”

Vox wanted to rip and tear. He breathed heavily, and the feeling eventually gave way to dejection. “But Ava does not know our ways. And how this all works.”

Rhutg’s mental voice was like a hiss. “You neglected to ever tell her she had a choice?”

Vox looked back over all their conversations and hung his head. “Not intentionally. She always indicated that she wanted to be with me, so I was pleased.”

Rhutg leaned to the side, silencing the error code on the medical screen before leaning forward. “Ava has been told what to do her whole life. She can not think beyond that sometimes and realize she can have options.”

“I know this. I let her know she can do what she wants.”

Rhutg pressed on. “Including picking a mate?”

Silence felt bitter on Vox’s tongue.

A gentler tone came from Rhutg. “It is good for you both that this is happening. Do not interfere now that this has presented itself. On Xai, no males would approach her while she dwelled in your house and she was too skittish to venture far. This ship is neutral territory for it to happen.”

“Stop looking even,” Rhutg added aloud, shifting his arm to put it back on the flat exam table. “This is not your moment.”

Rhutg’s message finally penetrated as Vox sat looking at the medical scanner resetting itself, green colors flashing now that the error code was cleared out.

Ava’s vulnerability. How she lived before. The reality of her life flashed through his mind, coupled with the wonder on her face when she first saw him, her initial hesitation, and then her desperation for contact and touch. Even now, sometimes, he felt urgency when he held her in how she curled into him. Burrowing into him for more than just intimacy.

Vox spoke in a lower voice, his eyes closing as he thought it through. “Do you think Ava cares for me only because I was the first to be kind to her? That is why she chose me? Even on the ship?”

Rhutg’s voice was brisk. “Of course, you idiot. She was not in a good place. She still loves that Phor bug even though he kept her isolated and manipulated her for cycles. You were the first good thing in her life, of course she fell for you hard.”

“I'm nothing like Ebel.”

“Yes. You aren't. That is why you will let her choose. That is why this thing with Zeed is good. Allow her this moment of actual freedom.”

Vox grumbled, his eyes flashing. He heard the logic in Rhutg’s words, but his emotion of thinking of Ava being elsewhere, with someone else, overrode it. “If I had known that Zeed would do this, I would have kept him out of this journey.”

Rhutg didn’t say anything, and Vox’s eyes narrowed on him, still full of fury.

Vox’s tone became accusatory. “You knew Zeed’s intent. You are stronger and can see farther than me.” Even as he said it, he felt ashamed of his reaction. I would not want to keep her attached to me just because she had no other choice.

Rhutg just positioned his arm again on the table and attempted to restart the scans. “It is hard to do this scan alone.”

Vox looked back at him with hurt eyes. His twin hearts panged in his chest, thinking of Ava leaving to be with another. “Even if she chooses differently, I will still help her at Cipra. I will not stop helping her find her Humans.”

Rhutg threw his head back to stare at the ceiling, crossed his arms, and sighed. “You fool. How are you such a fool? You did it before on Torga trying to overprotect her, and are trying to do it now as well. Violie would have tried to castrate me if I attempted to hold her so tight. Give Ava some of your faith, and some space.”

Vox looked down and away, breathing heavily to get a handle on his emotions. Have I been in the wrong this entire time? He hunched forward in a posture of defeat. Rhutg is right. She even attached to that bug, Ebel, as if he is family. And he kept her captive. Do Humans just unnaturally attach like this? Anxiety rose within him as her face swam in front of his mind.

Vox flushed a deep purple and breathed deep to try to calm himself. He was agitated, as if in the heat of battle. He breathed until he could think rationally enough to process Rhutg’s words. Eventually he said, “I worry about what you said before. That she is attached to me now simply because I was the first one to be kind to her and she knows nothing else. I worry that it is not the same as it was for you and Violie.”

Rhutg stared at him unhappily. “You should become attached to those who are kind to you. And her feelings have only grown. If there was nothing genuine there, then I would be forcing you to let Ava go myself, because I care for her well-being now too.”

“You care too?”

“In a different way than you, yes.” Rhutg clapped him on the shoulder. “Remember, Lirell and your brother were also kind to her initially, and she does not pine for them.” He chuckled. “I was an ass to her at first.”

Vox didn’t answer, keeping his silence for himself as he clenched his hands at his side.

He watched Rhutg turn the machine back on and position the scanner over his arm more firmly before saying, “At least if we’re going to spy from afar, you should keep scanning my arm to see how that affects the tremors.”

Vox flushed purple and moved to press his head to Rhutg’s to express his gratitude.

Rhutg frowned and pushed him away after a second. “None of that. You feel too much.”

Ava stood, feeling overwhelmed and confused, looking at the back of Zeed’s neck. Her heart was thunderous as it pounded, body flushed with anxiety. Zeed’s words rang in her mind as she tried to process them in her confusion. But Vox isn’t like that, he wouldn’t lie to me. It’s not like how Zeed says.

It would be a lie to say that she was not curious about other Vorbax males, but the thought of anyone other than Vox made her soul ache. Especially if she thought in reverse of him with someone else. Her mind returned to the women’s communal hall, and she felt an echo of jealousy to think they had considered Vox in the same way before. No.

She wrung her hands and answered, her eyes wide with emotion, “I can not, Zeed.”

Zeed tilted his head, his frills moving elegantly with the motion. “Can not? Or will not? They mean different things. One implies that you would, if barriers were removed.”

Voice crackling from the strain, she said quickly, “Both. It is both.”

Zeed lifted his head and regarded her with hooded eyes. “I would be a good coupling for you, Ava. I have been in battle. I would be able to protect our young.”

“I’m sure you would. But I care for Vox too much to want to be with someone else.”

“Do you now? You have loyalty to him, but why has he not marked you yet?”

She narrowed her eyes in confusion. “The thing that Orla did with Erox at the ceremony?”

“Yes. Your scent and mind is still of one that is unmated.”

Quietly she said, “He told me about it, but said I wasn’t ready. He said that it was a link between minds, usually before having children.”

Zeed took a dubious tone with her, crossing his arms across his muscular torso. “Yes, you usually mate before kits, but having young is not needed to have that union.”

Ava looked to the side, tears suddenly threatening. “Vox said my mind was not ready. I don’t know how it would work with a Human either; Vox said I am compatible, but there is so much not known.”

She felt awkward discussing this with Zeed, who was only an acquaintance at this point. Doubt moved into her mind. Or maybe Vox is still uncertain of me, and the rest was just an excuse. Her gaze snagged on her very Human hands. So different.

Zeed put a finger under her chin until her head raised and he looked at her flatly. “You are compatible with us. I’ve looked at the scans Erox took of you with Pyra during our travels, as the quorum's opinion is changing and they wanted more data. Our genes are heavily dominant, and our young would take after Vorbax almost exclusively. They would fit in fine with others.”

Ava startled and moved out of his reach. She remembered the children in the women's hall and her question of what hers would look like. “Would fit in? Be like you?”

“Yes, the genetics were quite clear in theory.”

Ava’s hand went to her fertility blocker, imagining a miniature Vox.

Zeed continued, “As to the mind mark . . . even our coars can carry our marks within their minds to show their owner. I can see how your mind works and how easily it could be imprinted on.”

“Oh. It would be easy?” There must be another reason Vox hasn’t explained any of this. Her heart fell inside, followed by a drop in her stomach. I need to talk with him. Maybe he is uncertain.

He nodded. “At the very least, he could mark your mind, even if you can not do his in return. Kits do not necessarily need to come for that to take place.” Zeed continued in a gentler voice, angling his head down and regarding her with light amber eyes that gleamed in the fluorescent lighting, “You are committed to him.” Frustration on his face, he huffed and stepped away. “That is fine. It was worth telling you my interest, just in case, and to let you know there are options. It is rare to find one with as soft a mind as yours.” His eyes closed then opened again, with an intensity that seemed otherworldly. “Your thoughts feel like a harmony within mine, something I never expected to find.”

“A harmony?”Ava just spun her hands around each other.

Zeed sighed and turned away. “Yes. Your mind. It comes up with pictures and things that are not real sometimes. Like an ever-changing song.”

Awareness came over her as she recognized Zeed’s fascination with her mind. My imagination. It was like Lirell while she dreamed, and Vox in general with her thoughts.

Zeed's low voice brought her attention back to him, her eyes settling on his IO mineral necklace. “I would ask him why he has not claimed you yet. And then ask yourself if you are certain about him as well.”

“He said at the ceremony that I was not ready.”

Zeed snorted. “He said? But it sounds like I have explained more than he has already.”

Anxiety prickled throughout her body as she struggled to think of an answer. She swallowed and looked away. “I guess I just didn’t think to ask and clarify it. He said we are not ready for it, and I let it drop. A lot has been happening.”

Zeed’s eyes gentled. He looked like he was warring with himself on what to say next. Finally, he grunted out loud and said, “Ask, Ava. It shouldn’t just be his choice to make. Because...” He pulled himself up to his full height and tilted his head as he regarded her, his eyes taking on that otherworldly gleam again. “If your answer changes at all, I am here and willing, Ava, and I would be honored to claim that right for you. I can provide everything for you.”

He left her there then, after nodding at her once more.

Ava stood, watching him go, an uneasy feeling in her gut. She walked past Sai, ignoring her gentle touch on her mind, and back into the engine hall, where she sank down in front of the biologics to just watch the bubbles dance.

Zeed stopped blocking Vox and reached out soon after, connecting with both him and Rhutg. “You are lucky, Vox. She is loyal too.”

Vox felt no charity toward him, his hearts still pounding as if he had run fast, but answered calmly, “I know .”

“I want to be on hand when other Humans are found,” Zeed said across the distance.

Rhutg came in, his tone heavy. “We will not have them exchange one servitude for another. I am firm in this. They will live and then potentially find love, in that order. And maybe no love at all. But they will live. I know this was one of the quorum’s concerns as well—they might not all be like Ava."

Vox cut in, “Regardless, they are not to be coerced. We are not Tuxa.”

“There will be no coercion,” Zeed agreed, “and there will soon be another Human to compare to, to see if Ava is an anomaly. But she at least shows they are loyal creatures, especially to those whom they bond to first.”

Vox ground his teeth. “Ava is not as simple as that.”

“Regardless, I want that chance as well, to prove myself. I have fought by both of your sides, and you know my worth. I have earned that right, to be the first for others.”

Rhutg answered. “A lot of the males feel that way. It is noted. We will see where the trail leads once we get to Cipra.”

Zeed’s voice began to fade. “I am hopeful. Human females are fascinating. I respect you, Vox, so I will also give you advice. You should mark her soon, or I sense more issues once others on Xai become more aware of her. Especially after everyone saw how she felt and cared after Erox’s injury.”

Vox hung his head, angry at Zeed’s continued interest . “It is not that easy. And none of your business. I was waiting . She is precious to me. You do not know everything she has endured.”

“I have said my piece. Take my advice for what it is.”

The connection disconnected, both males wanting their privacy again.

Rhutg uncrossed his arms from where he had been standing and walked to the entrance to the med bay. There, he looked back at Vox over his shoulder. “This has been exhausting. Go to her. I’m going to get some sleep.”