Page 20 of Ava Stargazer (Planet Xai #2)
The biologics were a swirl of movement, and Ava watched them spin, clearly happy to spend their excess energy.
Rhutg was in navigation, inputting commands to plot their course as they left the atmosphere. He sent down instructions to the engine hall as the automatic processes kicked on while the ship launched. The AI from the Spry had integrated seamlessly, making the transitions between the launch stages even faster.
Ava moved quickly as well, dashing between the engine room and the biologics tank, excitement and anxiety swirling in her stomach. “Who all is coming with us?” She was monitoring the start-up protocols on the engine like Ebel used to do, checking for tension and any errors. “I know there was talk about more coming. Sai wanted to join us; did she make it on board?” Guilt swirled in her stomach that she hadn’t been able to double-check, other than sending Sai a message the day before to let her know the liftoff time and for her to come.
Vox leaned over, watching her movements. “She did. And she brought a whole cartful of paint?” His tone went up questioningly at the end.
Ava’s lips curled upward, happy that Sai remembered. “Yes, look.”
Vox twisted his head curiously toward her, and Ava thought of the ideas she had for the halls.
His mouth twitched up on the sides. “Ah, I see. That will keep you both busy at least.”
Ava turned and said crisply back, “That is the plan. Who else is coming?”
“A few other males that defended Xai before. Zeed you met during the construction, and another, Tiral, who fought beside my father and me when the Tuxa first came. They are mentoring a few kits that they brought along and are going to be using this as the kits’ first experience off planet, since it should not be intense combat. They are getting situated now. I will have you meet them after we are on course.”
Ava nodded absently as she checked the gauges again, feeling nervous, as this was her first time going through liftoff protocols on her own. Everything looks like it is checking out just fine so far. She bit her lip as she focused, her brow furrowed. I know what I’m doing.
Vox continued, “And two others. Pyra the quorum member wanted to come with, and one of the Spry, Fijjak.” He paused and then added, “And you know Erox stayed behind with Orla. He needs more time to heal.”
Ava frowned, thinking of her visit yesterday with Erox and Orla while Vox visited with the quorum again before they left. The scars left on Erox’s face from the attack were deep, and he still winced in pain when he moved. “Yes, I am glad Orla convinced him to rest.” She tapped the control panel. “That’s more people coming than I thought. I thought it would just be you and Rhutg with how the Vorbax Quorum was so opposed.”
Vox absently cleaned some dust off the counter with a rag. “Individuals can make up their own minds.”
That they can. Ava was beginning to feel the truth of that statement as she watched the control panel carefully. There was a caution warning in one of the sensors. “One of the pistons is a bit loose.”
Vox came over to look. “Is it something that is critical to fix?”
“No. But it should be fixed at some point. We used to do repairs like that often mid trip.”
“Do we need to delay? Have the Spry help?”
Ava bit her lip as she looked at the panel, thinking it through. “This is related directly to the biologics, and how to fix this part is counter intuitive. The biologics’ energy cables run through the piston, so you need to replace it a certain way.”
She gestured with her hands as she spoke, Vox watching but looking mildly lost. “No matter how you explain or I see in your thoughts, it still seems a bit above me.” He glanced upward at the massive engine. “Literally.” Vox looked back at the designs laid on the table.
Ava pointed out where the part was on the diagram of the engine, chuckling at his confession. “I can do this. I used to help Ebel on the bigger repairs all the time. I’ll do it when we’re starborne; it shouldn’t affect anything. I’ll just need another pair of hands.”
Vox looked up at the engine with uncertainty. “Of course.”
Ava smiled, looking down. Vox hates heights. “Sai wanted to learn, so I’ll ask her to help. Fijjak can come see as well. I know he wants to learn more about how it all works.”
Despite the artificial gravity that kicked in the moment the ship made it back into space, Ava felt the difference in her gut. She had mixed feelings. Being up here, away from a planet, feels right, but also ... not right. Maybe she had started to form more of an attachment to Xai than she had thought, focused as she'd been on her eagerness to get back to what she knew rather than learning to settle.
Regardless, it was still a relief to be back on her ship where everything was familiar for a bit. Especially as they were heading to Cipra, which she expected would take a lot out of her. Ava frowned at herself, a bit frustrated that her thoughts kept creeping back to that place, where worry threatened to paralyze her. Don’t think about it.
She tapped her hands idly on the counter before turning to Vox, who was cleaning up from the repair Ava had just finished. Sai had assisted but returned to her cabin, wanting to settle in the crew quarters she claimed for herself. “Can I meet the others coming with us? Tiral?”
Vox looked upward, eyes glazed over as he shone and connected with others in the ship. “Yes, it should be fine now. The young ones Tiral is training have all gotten over the initial shock of space flight. Their nervousness is abating now, much less potent. It should be easier for you to be around them.”
“I didn’t realize that was what we were waiting for.” Ava went to help him clean up the rest of the strewn metal, her habit of keeping the engine room clean and tidy still firmly in place. She hefted the broken piston in her hands. This can still be useful. She placed it in a box and indicated to Vox. “This could probably be sold for scrap still.”
“Yes. Here, I will be your muscle.” Vox smirked at her as he lifted the box, stacking it neatly on the wall before returning. “At any rate, these Vorbax kits on board with us now are young, much younger than Lirell.”
“Lirell isn’t so young anymore,” Ava said absently, remembering his much larger frame when she hugged him not too long ago. He has grown so fast.
Vox’s eyes tightened. “Yes. I probably should stop calling him young, as he is now almost fully grown, and has been in more battles than most adults back home.”
Ava thought of Lirell, and was proud to know he was growing strong. “He would probably appreciate that.”
Vox leaned against the counter. “These are true youngsters. They are still learning. Tiral has a good hand with them.”
“Tiral was the one who you fought alongside?”
“Yes, and Zeed. Zeed has always fought admirably as well ...” He shone a bit brighter, trailing off as he listened to and communicated with the others. “Come. Tiral is moving everyone into the solarium to meet you, as it’s one of the bigger areas. It also looks most like home, which will hopefully ease their nerves.”
Ava checked the gauges again before pushing away from the monitor. No alerts or warning signs flashed. It all looks fine now. She felt a flash of pride at doing the repair and being able to direct Sai with confidence. She tapped on the screen. All fixed. Sometimes she felt like she was fumbling her way so much on Xai that it was hard to remind herself she was capable of learning and doing complex things. Her shoulders straightened and she stood tall. But I can. I can learn almost anything, given enough time.
She walked toward Vox, who was already waiting out in the engine hall for her, closing the door to their alcove before she left. He gestured to the walls as the engine room doors closed behind Ava. “Are you going to paint all of them? All the walls?”
Ava shook her head, trying to envision the bare utilitarian gray any different. The curved sheet metal felt cold under her hand. “We’ll see how much paint we have. It wouldn’t work so well to have crazy designs all over it in case we use Celestial for something official someday. I know Fijjak was talking about having it help transport some trade items.” She turned and looked at Vox, running her hand along the wall. “I just mostly want something special for the path I usually take. No one comes down here for official business, so I told Sai she could do whatever in this area.” Under her breath she continued, “And hopefully it might help me. The rest of the ship I was thinking we could just paint a solid color.”
Vox stopped in the hall and Ava stopped with him, still staring at the blank walls. It will be more colorful, at the very least.
His voice pitched lower as he looked at her speculatively. “Come here, Ava.”
“Huh?”
Vox stepped toward her, crowding in on her as he had long ago, when the attraction was still new between them and he was questioning who she was.
However, this time, Ava held no wariness in her eyes and no fear in her gut when he pressed into her, backing her up into the wall. “What?” she asked, feeling the metal against her back.
When he got close, he just caressed her cheek and looked in her eyes with a pained expression of his own as she leaned into his hand. “I know why you are painting them. These halls.”
The walls stretched between them as he gestured up and down. He sighed, closing his eyes, and then reopened them to fix on hers. “I wish you didn’t have to be a part of the ship takeover, Ava, back then. I know you don’t talk about it, but it was hard to see the bloodshed of those you once knew.”
Ava looked away and clenched her jaw. Her hands trembled a bit at her side. Oh, I don't want to think about that.
He held her tight though, and looked down at her as his tone gentled further. “I know you avoid talking about these things. But this needs to be said.”
Anxiety flushed through her body and Vox hummed, calming her, then touched her face, his fingers angled to the side like she liked as he spoke. “It’s difficult to talk about but it is important. You don’t have to share, but I do want you to listen. Your eyes, please.”
Ava swallowed, beginning to sweat, trying to shift away. Vox continued holding her gently until she finally stopped moving to look at him. Her tone was soft. “I know you needed to. Back then.”
After a pause he spoke, his voice pitched low. “What we did both was and was not necessary. We probably were a bit more ruthless than we needed to be, and impulsive. We felt so wronged being attacked ourselves that it was hard to think clearly in the moment and practice compassion as much as we should have. It is easier to look back now, from this side of things, and see things more rationally. I hope your time on Xai so far has shown you ... a different side of us.”
Ava lost the desire to duck away, touched by the vulnerability in Vox’s eyes. “It has ... but...” Emotions warred in her, bringing forward the real issue she felt. Her conflicting thoughts.
Vox tilted his head, waiting for her to speak. The hallways were silent except for the small hum of energy from the biologics in the walls. Her heart beat as if she were running before she said in a rush, “But I also know it is a front. The gentleness you show.”
“I am gentle when it counts. I wish that is all I ever had to be.”
Ava wrung her hands, emotions warring in her. The words burst out. “Me too. And I feel ... guilty. Taking over this ship led to me being free. My life would have never changed had you not done that ... but would an entire life wasted because of inaction be any less wrong than—” Her voice became thick with emotion. “I also feel weird because I don’t feel sad enough about it. That they all died. It’s hard to ... it’s very gray.” The thought that scared her from back then, when it first happened, rose up in her mind once more. Some of them deserved it. She held no remorse for the Phor queen. Ava swallowed, briefly closing her eyes.
“Yes. Most things are gray,” Vox agreed.
Ava forced herself to hold his gaze and say the next words, “I feel wrong for feeling happy about how things turned out.”
Vox’s tone was brisk in return. “I felt this way visiting the board; everything is so complex. Overall, I don’t feel wrong for it. We are doing more good with this ship now, with trying to find more Humans.”
Ava nodded, ready for the conversation to change. She looked away and focused under his shoulder at the gray, plain hall on the other side.
Vox reached to stroke her cheek again and breathed deep. “I won’t press you further. I’m glad you are changing the ship in your own way.”
“Hopefully you still will be after you see how it looks painted,” Ava said, meeting his eyes.
“I guess that depends on the color.”
Ava gave a small grin. “Blue?”
Vox snorted as he leaned in further, touching his forehead to hers. “I’ll love it, then.”
They stood a moment, pressed against each other in the hall as the mood began to change between them. He nuzzled in on her and kissed her neck, lingering, then said against her skin, “I remember the first time I held you against the wall like this. And what I wanted to do, even back then.”
Ava felt her body start to respond to his gentle touch. She leaned into him, arching off the wall, and felt a clenching in her core. I remember too.
He nipped her playfully, his voice pitching low. “Later, okay?”
“Now?”
“If they weren’t waiting for us already . . .”
Ava sighed impatiently, her body flushing with heat as she pressed into him before backing up reluctantly and taking his hand. “There’s only this small group coming; was no one else interested?”
Vox tucked her in against his side, and they resumed walking. “No, lots were. Many. Like Tiral and Zeed. We accepted only them though because of their position training the young, and because Tiral fought next to me and my father, who fell when the Tuxa initially came. If any of the males want to meet the Humans, it should be the proven ones among us first. They deserve that right more than others.”
His eyes shone with sincerity, and it made Ava feel a bit uncomfortable. It was strange to hear that Humans should be valued. “I guess. You make us all sound like such prizes though.”
He leaned into her again, dipping his head. “Females always are.”
At that Ava hit him playfully, grinning, as they walked. When they reached the solarium, Vox stood back to let her go first.
Inside stood six young males, with an older one by their side. “Tiral,” Vox said, indicating with his head. He then nodded to one that was on the other end of the six young Vorbax. “Zeed you’ve met already .”
Tiral was a tad taller than Vox but not as muscular as Rhutg. He had an amused air about him as he gave a smile and gentle wave as they came near, making this first meeting one of the least serious ones Ava had to date.
Zeed kept his distance, only giving a curt nod in their direction. His body was lithe and lean, slender in a way that made it look like he could be faster than the others. He looked Ava over in the same appraising way he had before, his eyes lingering on her.
Why does he stare? His attention made her shift her feet uncomfortably. She changed her thoughts, not wanting that to be picked up, even though none of them were glowing.
Tiral smiled, leaning over. “Hello Ava. Vox already shared earlier how you dislike connecting with the minds of strangers, so we will talk out loud.”
Ava stepped forward and gave the universal sign of deference, relief evident in her face. “Thank you. That makes it easier, especially at a first meeting.”
Tiral looked on, amused, and waved her hands down. “No need for that gesture. Not here. I am happy to be getting back out and taking action again, truthfully.” He stretched and puffed out his chest before crossing his arms. “There aren’t many opportunities for us to go off-world lately now that the war with the Tuxa has died down and we are more established. But even if it’s at a stalemate, we need to keep practicing.”
He gestured to the six young Vorbax next to him, all males. They were all smaller than Lirell was when Ava first met him. “It is good to give them some training. They need it to become strong.”
Ava could pick out some differences in their faces. They all looked at her briefly, and one started to glow. She felt his touch on her mind before Zeed hit the youngster hard on the head, his arms moving inhumanly fast, before saying gruffly, “That’s an ally, and a female, and you just heard Tiral saying not to do that, child.” Zeed then looked at her with heated eyes. “Apologies, Ava.”
Ava quickly waved her hands, squirming under the intensity of his gaze. “It’s alright.”
“I’m sorry,” the young one said, chastised, looking down. “It is ... habit.”
Vox spoke, his voice calm and steady, taking a tone of patience with the younger Vorbax. “A habit that needs to be broken, Quioh. Iryl rarely engages in meditation on the board at Elyheim. Our defense is our offense, and keeping our abilities quiet gives us an advantage. That should be your first lesson. Off of Xai, you use it purposely only. The longer we can keep what we can do hidden, the better we can use it defensively.”
Tiral followed up, speaking to all of them now. “To Ava you will speak only, unless she gives you permission to scan. This will teach you how to properly talk with others instead of falling back into the habits of Xai.”
All six nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry,” the one named Quioh said, still avoiding Ava’s gaze. “It happened before I could react.”
He looked up at Ava with the same earnest expression Lirell had. Oh, he still looks so sweet. It tugged at Ava’s heart, the innocent expression of a child trying their hardest. Maybe earnestness was a trait in most Vorbax youths. She walked up to him and gestured for his hand. He gave it to her, and she measured it against her own, ignoring his shocked expression as she touched him.
They matched perfectly in size, his not yet having gone through the final growth spurt. She squeezed it softly and met his amber eyes. “It’s alright. Just work hard to become strong, okay?”