Page 56 of Arranged Addiction

She rubs my back. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Thanks for being here.”

“You can thank Siobhan. She’s the one who made sure I knew about it.”

I squeeze her one more time before letting her go. Declan’s mother beams at me and holds me at arm’s length.

“Do you like it?” she asks, grinning.

I open the jacket and let her see the dress. “I wasn’t sure I would, but it’s actually really nice.”

Her eyes crinkle with amusement. She glances at Declan. “How does he feel about it?”

“I think he likes it more than I do.”

She laughs, loud and genuine. “That was my goal.” She hugs me quickly before letting me go.

“Let’s get this done.” Declan seems straight-up miserable now. My heart is heavy and racing as we step into the judge’s chambers. He’s an older man, heavyset, in a nice sweater over a simple dress shirt. He greets Siobhan warmly.

“Thanks for doing this, Roger,” she says.

“Ah, anything for you and your family.” He beams and gestures for me and Declan to stand in front of his desk. “What sort ofceremony are we looking for? Short and sweet? Or should I give you the full version?”

“Short and sweet,” Declan says quickly.

My heart stutters. My back is sweating. I shrug off my jacket, and Sheila takes it from me. She kisses my cheek, showing more affection today than she has for most of my life. When she steps aside, I’m afraid I might pass out.

I can’t do this.

I thought I could. I figured marrying Declan would be a good deal. He’ll protect me and Sheila, and I’ll get paid for the trouble. I told myself I could play mafia wife if that’s what it took.

But that was stupid.

I’m nobody. My parents might’ve been from Declan’s underworld, but that’s not me. I’m not strong. I’m not clever. I’m messy and difficult most of the time. Men are repulsed by me.

Except for Declan.

I want to get away. I feel like I’m going to pass out. The judge is talking, giving us some kind of speech about the sanctity of marriage and all that as he adjusts the official marriage paperwork on his desk. He lines up a couple of pens. I think I might be sick.

Declan steps closer. I feel his warmth as his fingers reach down and find mine. I’m startled when he grabs on and holds my hand tightly.

I look up at him in surprise.

He’s staring straight ahead. His expression is set and determined.

But his hand squeezes mine.

I start to calm down.

Not completely. I’m still afraid and nervous. But his simple touch helps ground me. I don’t feel dizzy anymore. When the judge says we should sign, I’m able to do it without shaking. After the paperwork, Declan takes me into his arms as the judge says we’re allowed to kiss for the first time as husband and wife.

His lips touch mine. He’s gentle about it. I didn’t know Declan could be this soft. I kiss him back eagerly, desperate for his comfort, but it only lasts a second.

And then it’s over.

“Congratulations!” Sheila pulls me into a hug followed by Siobhan. Everyone’s shaking hands. Declan seems more relieved than anything else, like he expected something bad to happen.

My legs feel shaky as we walk out together. Declan and Siobhan talk business while Sheila tells me how beautiful I look. I glance down at my finger, and the ring Declan gave me glitters there. It means more now that I know it’s official.