Page 19 of Arranged Addiction

I knew it while it was happening, and I still couldn’t stop myself.

It’s too soon. But when I heard her explain why she bought all those sex toys, I couldn’t stop myself.

I had to make her feel better.

Now I can’t concentrate on anything else. I give Casey her space and leave her alone. Internally, I process her absence as a sick day, and nobody questions it. I spend the afternoon at my desk, listlessly trying to answer emails while I keep coming back to the memory of last night with my assistant.

The way she moaned as I got down on my knees in front of her. The taste of her orgasm… the desperate way she whisperedsir…the feeling of her licking me clean after finishing in her mouth.

Fuck, it kills me.

I force myself to stay for the full day before finally leaving at six. Instead of going back to my apartment where I’m sure to spend the night smelling what’s left of her scent on my sheets like asick freak, I decide to skip all that and go to my parents’ house instead.

The Whelan family home is a sprawling building deep in our personal territory. I’m intensely aware that every street I drive down is owned by either my father or someone who works for my father. Skyscrapers, strip malls, corner stores, it all comes back to the Whelans.

And for the past few years, our power has only grown and consolidated as we’ve made strategic alliances among the other powerful criminal organizations.

My mother greets me in the kitchen. Siobhan Whelan looks good for her late sixties. Her hair’s lightening and going gray, but she’s still got a touch of her signature red. She kisses my cheek with a charming smile. “You’re the first one here tonight. Your brothers are still on their way.”

“I’m always the first one, Mother.”

“I know, but I like pointing it out sometimes. You deserve the credit.” She pats my arm lightly.

I look back toward the stairs. “How’s he doing today?”

“Not well, honestly.” Her smile disappears. Her fingers dig into my arm. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. “He’s in some discomfort. I told him to stay in bed.”

“I bet he hated that.”

“He absolutely did, but you know your father. He can’t turn me down.”

“That’s always been his best feature.”

She tries to laugh, but it sounds hollow and exhausted.

I’ve never seen my mother so drained before.

Siobhan Whelan is the light at the heart of our family. She’s the glue that holds it all together. She’s the hand that sets the course and the mind that keeps us pointed true. Without her, I think we’d all be lost.

And now it feels like she’s finally beginning to dim.

I hate it.

“I’ll go check on him.” I gently disengage myself from my mother’s grip and leave her in the kitchen. She needs a break sometimes. I keep trying to hire more help, but she refuses.

She says caring for her sick husband is her job.

But I think she’s been holding this family on her shoulders for long enough.

Let others take the burden.

I have a million other tasks that demand my attention and an executive assistant who is either going to marry me or run for the hills, but I will always put my mother and my family first.

The TV’s playing the Yankees game from the night before. Dad’s propped up against a bunch of pillows and he glances over as I enter the room. His face is so thin, like the skin’s stretched to its limits. I hate seeing him like this.

“They blew it again, didn’t they?” he grunts as I pull up a chair and sit beside him. “Wait, don’t tell me how it ends.”

“All I’ll say is you know the Yankees.”